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Wedding Forum - Getting married in same church as my mum...

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  1.  
    • Sjofncupcake
      CommentAuthorSjofncupcake
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    Hi all

    quick backstory: My mum passed away in 2011 and ive had a really nice idea that maybe me and OH could get married in the same church, to me it would feel like she was a bit closer.

    main topic now haha. Ive been told by the people at the church that my mother getting married there isnt enough of a connection to that church.... well i did a bit of digging and according to what i have found they arent being entirely truthful, because according to anglican rules it is enough. Has anybody else had anything remotely similar...
    i really dont want to email her what could come across as me telling her to do her job but if she is wrong and its stopping me from having that day extra special then i feel i need to say something...
    I just dont want to offend her XD

    Any advice...
  2.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sorry I've no idea, hopefully someone else here could help you out though. Hope you get what you'd like

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  3.  
    • Mrs Jones
      CommentAuthorMrs Jones
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Is there anybody else at the church you could ask - maybe the person conducting your service? Did you tell the lady why you wanted to get married there?

    We're getting married in a church that we really have no connection to. I'm not even a Catholic and the Priest has agreed to it. The only connection we have is OH is Catholic and we live in the same town.

    Members signature icon
    First Date 26 April 2014
    Proposed 27 June 2015
    Happily Married 18 June 2016
  4.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
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    I thought that if your parents married there that is a qualifying connection, but I'm not 100%. The ones that I am confident off are if you live in the parish, or have lived in the parish at any point in your life, or if a parent has lived in the parish for six months during your lifetime. I think there is also something about if you or your parents were baptised there. I think there is a website, I'll check and post it on your wall.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  5.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I just looked at the website (which I've posted on your wall) and it does say that parents marrying in the parish is a qualifying connection. Maybe you could print that off and show it to them. If they are still stubborn, you could go over their heads to the area dean, who should know the truth. If you don't get anywhere, or if they say there is some reason why that rule doesn't apply, do you live near enough the church to attend it for a while? Regular attendance for at least six months is another way of qualifying. It doesn't necessarily have to be every week, just reasonably frequent. If Sunday mornings aren't possible there might be a weeknight service you can go to, depending on how active the church is. You wouldn't necessarily need to attend for six months when booking the date either, just make sure the date is far enough ahead that you can have a clear block of six months when you attend.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  6.  
    • Sjofncupcake
      CommentAuthorSjofncupcake
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    The church is about 20 miles away. i would go there for services to ensure we could but neither me or OH drive (with the added downfall of he still lives in france) and public transport doesnt run. Yeah living in the parish is a pretty guarenteed yes in most cases. Apparently the secretary will speak to the Vicar on monday although she was adamant i was wrong XD When i got off the phone i cried for almost an hour
  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    EC has said everything I thought.

    Hope you can get agreement. It's so special, we got married at the same church my parents got married at, they absolutely loved it, on the day we had a photo with those who were guests at their wedding, including my dad's best man, it's so special.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I suspect the vicar will say that it is fine, the vicar should know the rules. If the secretary comes back and says that he is saying no it may be worth asking to speak to the vicar direct. I am pretty certain that the secretary has got it wrong, as that website is a reliable one.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  9.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Copy all that Elinor has said. I was baptised and parents married in our church. Mom wasn't sure where my baptism certificate was but knew where her marriage certificate was so took that and no problems.

    Speak to the vicar direct if they question it and ask if you can know the reasons why they won't allow it. Don't be too pushy though as might make them not want to change their mind. There's no reason why that isn't a good enough reason x

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  10.  
    • Sjofncupcake
      CommentAuthorSjofncupcake
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Well!!

    I got a beautiful phone call yesterday morning!
    I spoke with the vicar directly and she said it was a beautiful connection and she would be honoured to marry us!

    I HAVE MY VENUE *dances*
  11.  
    • Mrs Jones
      CommentAuthorMrs Jones
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    I am so pleased for you :-) That really must have made your day!

    Members signature icon
    First Date 26 April 2014
    Proposed 27 June 2015
    Happily Married 18 June 2016
  12.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  13.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
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    Fantastic news, I'm so pleased for you!

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  14.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
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    Congratulations! Great news x

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  15.  
    • Sjofncupcake
      CommentAuthorSjofncupcake
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It really did! Thank you all ladies you really helped me to stay calm and wait or else i would have possibly given up and just got really frustrated :D
  16.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Excellent, I'm really pleased for you

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  17.  
    • TheNewMrsBarrett
      CommentAuthorTheNewMrsBarrett
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Aww that's fab news!! xx
  18.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
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    Yay :-)

    Members signature icon



  19.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Fantastic news xx



    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  20.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
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    Oh good I'm so pleased. I thought it was allowed.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  21.  
    • Sjofncupcake
      CommentAuthorSjofncupcake
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Me too :D thats one major item ticked off the list!
  22.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Great news! :)
  23.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yay

    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  24.  
    • Ticamis2be
      CommentAuthorTicamis2be
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yay :D such a lovely reason to get married there :) so happy for you that it was honoured x
 

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