FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Name change, am I wrong?...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I know it's tradition but I don't want to change my name. this is my second marriage. I didn't want to change my name the first time and I was worn down until I agreed which I resented massively (not a good start to a marriage) I then went through all the hassle of changing it back again and I just don't want to change it. OH and I have discussed it and sort of compromised on double barrelling it. I'm not deliberately being awkward. Professionally, changing it would be a nightmare of paperwork that gives me a headache just to think about, we don't want children so there no issue with anyone having different surnames so I just don't see the point. Before we decided on the compromise he did say "it's only a name" so I told him to change his which he didn't like the idea of. My cousins fiancé isn't changing hers when they marry so she understands where I'm coming from but everyone else seems to think I'm being really strange, someone even questioned my commitment to OH because of it. Am I really being that out of the ordinary/unreasonable to want to keep my name?

    Members signature icon



  2.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It's important, it's your identity.

    I finally gave in to changing my name officially on all legal documents, although passport is not yet changed lol, but I still use my maiden name at work so everyone knows me by my maiden name but on all the official database I am in my married name. I am tempted to change it all again though to double barrelled as I like my maiden name and hubby says that at the time he didn't realise how strongly I felt about keeping my maiden name. I actually prefer my maiden name to my married name.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  3.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    So basically no you're not being out of the ordinary or unreasonable, I can totally understand.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  4.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks IDL I was really starting to think I was being awful. OH was a bit taken aback because he had just assumed I would but he's come round to the compromise. It's more other people's reactions making me question myself. As you say, it's my name and identity. I really have to stop letting other people get in my head.

    Members signature icon



  5.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    The only thing stopping me from changing everything again to double barrelled is how much time it all takes but I will get around to it because I want to keep my maiden name officially and also keep hubby happy keeping his name, so double barrelling is the only way to go. He's okay with it now but taken 2 years to make him realise how strongly I feel.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  6.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    No I want to have double barrelled I will be Clayton- Hughes , think oh woukd like me just to be Hughes but I also said woukd he change his name and he said no so I was like why would you expect me to change mine- when I no finally tie the knot I will ensure its down as Clayton- Hughes , God knows what will happen if we have kids lol

    Members signature icon



  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Kids I don't mind just having his name but this is my identity and I just can't let go of it.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i think if we wanted kids I'd maybe of considered it more but I'm pretty sure I would of still double barrelled it. I did say he could do the same with his so we would have the same surname. It was worth it just to see the look on his face haha

    Members signature icon



  9.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    But if it's double barrelled his name is still in yours so I personally think it would still be fine with kids.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  10.  
    • KerryBolderson2be
      CommentAuthorKerryBolderson2be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    if you dont want to change your name then dont, its your choice and your partner should understand that.

    Members signature icon
    Mrs Bolderson2be
    Met 31st July 2012
    Engaged 31st July 2013
    Becoming Mrs Bolderson 14th February 2018
  11.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    He's fine with it. Other people have reacted to it.

    Members signature icon



  12.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    IDL I'd say it's fine with kids. I just meant it was one less thing to take into account. Could double barrel the dogs name I guess but the vet might think we are a bit odd. :-)

    Members signature icon



  13.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    None of their business, they have no right to an opinion on this, it's between two people only, you and your h2b, noone else has any right to pass judgement.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  14.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Awww lol Julie, that's so cute! The dogs have surnames?

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  15.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah when you take any pet to the vet on their medical file they call it by your surname lol

    Members signature icon



  16.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Lol that is funny.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  17.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ours always walks into the waiting room and calls 'leia Banyard' it always makes me chuckle.

    Members signature icon



  18.  
    • JoanneH4
      CommentAuthorJoanneH4
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm still deciding whether or not to take my H2B's surname but I know he wants me to have his name because he keeps calling Mrs Joanne Marie Griffiths even though we are not married. I might take his name or I might have both my and his surname so it would be Mrs Joanne Marie Hopkins Griffiths if I was to have both or I might just keep it as Joanne Marie Hopkins
  19.  
    • NatalieS200
      CommentAuthorNatalieS200
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    No you're not being unreasonable. I'm having my name changed but thats cos I want to have the same last name as my 2 kids. If you feel so strongly about it then I dont think anyone should force you to change it xx
  20.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I am changing my name but am not overly comfortable with it.
    I haven't been forced into it. It was my decision.
    My name is my identity and by changing it I feel I will be loosing that. My name is my nickname so goes through my head will people have to stop calling me that
    However, it is really important to me that I have the same name as our kids. And I don't like our names double barrelled.
    So purely my decision but I know where you are coming from. If I wasn't worried about the kids thing then I would keep it.

    You aren't being unreasonable and at the end of the day it is a decision that only you can make but be sure to make it for the right reasons.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  21.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    You can do whatever you like! I have heard of couples creating their own name and starting fresh :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  22.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    You're perfectly within your rights to do whatever you like! People shouldn't frown on it as being "wrong" or unusual - it's your name and you have to live with it!

    I've always known I would take my husband's surname, regardless of who it was or what the name was, as I've always loved the tradition of it and would want to have the same surname as my children. Double barreling has never appealed to me either - it would sound cr@p for me anyway! xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  23.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Oh and as a side note, I had no issues with taking my husband's name, but I wasn't attached to my maiden name so was a no brainer.

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  24.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Same here Jenn. I am looking forward to getting rid of it :)

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  25.  
    • Mrs Jones
      CommentAuthorMrs Jones
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I've got a rather unusual surname - Holledge - and will be marrying a Jones. I totally understand the feeling of losing one's identity as I feel exactly the same, more so because I feel I am going to become "invisble" with his surname. We did discuss - or rather I did - of double-barreling our surnames to be Holledge-Jones, but my OH had a valid point that as he has the surname first name as my brother, there would be two Paul Holledges! I shall take his name officially, but for work I'll keep my surname.

    Members signature icon
    First Date 26 April 2014
    Proposed 27 June 2015
    Happily Married 18 June 2016
  26.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Although I will be changing my name, I don't think anyone has the right to tell you whether or not you should change yours.

    It is a growing trend that men take their wife's name. A friend of mine decided to do that as his wife was the last of 3 girls (no boys) to get married. His wife is Japanese and his in laws were so happy and honoured by it.

    I also have another friend who didn't change her name due to her profession. There are quite a few cultures where you don't change your name. Eg italians apparently don't do it.

    Unfortunately I cannot think of a compromise that has not already been suggested, but to be honest it is your name so I think it should be your decision x

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  27.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I am taking OH's name, I do feel a bit strange about it but I've always thought when I got married I would take my husbands name. I am going to put my maiden name with my middle name when I change it, so it will still be included in my name. We both have long names so putting them together is a bit much. You should do whatever is right for you though, it's you that has to live with it after all. xx

    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  28.  
    • KerryBolderson2be
      CommentAuthorKerryBolderson2be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Have another sit down with your other half and have a good chat about it. Maybe a double barrol name? X

    Members signature icon
    Mrs Bolderson2be
    Met 31st July 2012
    Engaged 31st July 2013
    Becoming Mrs Bolderson 14th February 2018
  29.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My mum thinks the whole thing is hilarious. She's half convinced I'm doing it on purpose to annoy the "older generation" :-) i must admit it is amusing me know. I was just a bit taken aback to start with.

    Members signature icon



  30.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    *now

    Members signature icon



  31.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    There is nothing wrong with not wanting to change your name..... I think it is an individual thing and entirely up to you.

    I will be changing my name and cannot wait. To me, its all part and parcel of getting married

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  32.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I did change my name but it's perfectly reasonable not to. Many ladies don't. I know the principal of the college that I work at has kept her maiden name, at least for work purposes. She's high enough in her profession that changing her name would be a very bad move, as people know who she is. Double-barrelling is an option but you can end up with a bit of a mouthful. My mum actually changed her name initially, she got married in 1978 when there wasn't really a question. Subsequently she did change back, as she had started writing under her maiden name and found it too complicated using both. The one thing I will say, if anyone is debating it and isn't sure, is that the change back for her was pretty straightforward, she just needed a letter from someone professional that knew her to give to the banks etc.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  33.  
    • Becci93
      CommentAuthorBecci93
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I toyed with the idea of changing my name but not to ohs surname .. To my step dads surname like my mums as that's who I feel are still my main family as his parents have never really got involved but he was really offended by it so think I'm going to change it to his now but I hate the way he pronounces his name he over exaggerated the utl bit of butler so then whenever he gives his surname people have to ask him to spell it! Gr.




  34.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Is he trying to do as Mrs bucket! Lol

    Members signature icon



  35.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ladies what is the right way round to double barrel?

    Husband's surname - wife's maiden name

    or

    Wife's maiden name - husband's surname?

    Have been debating with my hubby as to which way round I do it if I change everything again - might do it at the same time I do my passport next year.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  36.  
    • Becci93
      CommentAuthorBecci93
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I thought it was normally maiden then hubby's .. That's what my step mum did x




  37.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    That's what I want to do, think it sounds better, he wants his name to go first.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  38.  
    • Becci93
      CommentAuthorBecci93
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't know if there's any traditions around it but the people I know have maiden - husbands :)




  39.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    If I double barrel it will be my surname then his. I guess it's just personal choice.

    Members signature icon



  40.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I just thought it sounds better with my maiden name then his. Think he just wants his name to be first grrrrrrrrrrr.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  41.  
    • LadyC
      CommentAuthorLadyC
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It's not weird at all. It's whatever you feel comfortable with. Personally I can't wait to have OH surname.

    Members signature icon
    xx Lady Charlotte Chamberlain to be! xx
    xx Marrying my soul mate on 22nd July 2016 xx

  42.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I will still have it, just next to mine. I have actually changed everything to his officially apart from my passport but I'm missing my maiden name and feel my identity has been taken away from me so I want it back.

    I'm also struggling to sign my married name still, still keep doing my maiden name accidently.................not good after almost 2.5 years!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  43.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It sounds more familiar as you are adding his name onto the end of yours. I don't think there is a rule as to which way round. It's whatever sounds better to you.

    One thing I would say about double barreled names is think about your signature. I had a customer who was signing some paperwork and she said she regretted doing it because she felt like it took her forever to sign things!

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  44.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I guess so.

    Lol, your signature can be anything you want it to be so could just do 1 letter initials or something.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  45.  
    • JulieB11
      CommentAuthorJulieB11
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I did think about that with the signature, would I feel like it takes ages to sign. Fortunately it's only four more letters to add. And mines an unreadable scrawl at the best of times.

    Members signature icon



  46.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I hate my married signature.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  47.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Def your maiden name and then his, I sold it to my oh saying as his name was last people know it's his name so technically I'm still taking his name as surname!

    Members signature icon



  48.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Good point!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  49.  
    • Ticamis2be
      CommentAuthorTicamis2be
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It's totally personal choice.

    I will be changing mine - i'm currently double-barrelled with my parents names - glindon-lynch but generally just use one or the other as its too much of a mouthful! cant wait to have just 1 surname and the same name as my babies lol x
  50.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    You are definitely not being unreasonable! I am double barrelling my name so that I can keep my surname, and we named our daughter with the double barrelled surname before we even got Engaged as I refused to drop my name. OH has been fine about it, and no one has ever questioned me on it, as I think they all know that when it comes to important things like that, it's not worth getting into an Arguement with me about it! Haha!
    His name is also a very popular surname, and I know at least 8 people with that surname that are in no way related to him, so I didn't want to lose my identity in that respect, as Everyone knows me by my last name, especially people from school who always called me by both my names.
    I think, that if you don't want to drop your name, that's fine. If you want to double barrel, even better. But I don't believe that you should be pressurised into changing something so important to you if you really don't feel comfortable with it.
    Everyone will know that you're Married, and some people look at the changing of the last name to be an amazing part of Marriage, but I'm not one of those people. And it seems that neither are you. xx
 

UKbride's £25,000 Wedding Competition Prize Partners

Enter Now