H2b has got no family to speak of, apart from a sister who isn't invited, I have mum and sister. We were wondering how you had your top tables so we can get ideas on how to have ours?
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
I'm in a similar situation. I won't have parents there on my day but I am very close with my OHs mum and dad.
Our plan is to have our 3 BMs beside me and beside my OH will be the best man and his mum and dad. Balances out to 8ppl on the table.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
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CommentAuthorWhovianbride
We are choosing not to have our parents in the table and they drive each other crazy and don't want to have to deal with it on the day. So parents are hosting their own tables and we are having our friends (wedding party) on our table.
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CommentAuthorInDreamland
We decided not to have the traditional English top table and basically included all immediate family who were at the wedding on a round top table. So it was large but nice. SIL was really surprised to be on the top table but was really lovely to have our nearest and dearest on it. Only person I wasn't keen on having on there was FILs girlfriend who technically isn't in the family but they've been together 20 odd years so hubby wanted her on there. I was worried it'd look like she was replacing or taking hubby's mum's place who passed away over 10 years ago and I didn't want to upset SIL (FIL and their mum had a messy divorce) but all worked out well in the end.
So on top table we had: Me and hubby My mum and dad My sister and BIL SIL, her hubby and their two little girls (one was FG and other was a baby) FIL and his girlfriend
Have the top table any way you want. Alternatively do a sweetheart table just you and your h2b then rest of family can host their own table of extended family and friends x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
We have seven kids between us so the top table consisted of both of us and all the children.
The problem is that there are two bridesmaids plus partners, my mother plus partner/father of the bride, bestman plus partner and possibly one groomsman plus partner. I feel like I can't not have other partners with my mothers partner there so feel like it's uneven, unless we have a round table
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Just go for a sweetheart table
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorJadeI52
That's it, that's what we want. Thank you :)
CommentAuthorJennK
we are having a sweetheart table :)
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorCarolH81
We are having a sweetheart table as well. To much trouble and be to many arguments as to why they are not on top table. I am already having nightmares about my stepdad as he is opinionated slob so need to keep him away from certain family members. So it will just be me and jack on a table on our own
CommentAuthorHannahB299
Oh my goodness I completely forgot this is something I need to think about! I'd like my mum but not my dad :s not sure how to sort that one without being awkward!
My parents split up when I was a teenager and I rarely speak to/ see my dad. I'm not sure if he would expect to be in the table or not. But it wudnt surprise me.
I'm also having my mum walk me down the aisle which I need to mention to him so it's not a shock :s eeekkkk
CommentAuthorFlossie
We're having the traditional top table, but we're also having 2 long tables attached to the top table so the tables will be in a 'U' shape. This way step parents, whilst not on the top table, will be close to our parents who will be on the top table. I think it generally just connects everyone better and makes it easier choosing where to seat people.
There is no right or wrong though.. have whoever you like on the top table, or even just have a sweetheart table :) xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Were having the 'norm' well I think it is theres so many people telling me different ways their supposed to sit lol! ours will be
Maid of honour, Father In Law, Mother of the Bride, GROOM, BRIDE, Father of the bride, Mother in law, Best man - is this right? lol!! xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
I'll pop the link on your wall Jade - its got a few different ideas etc xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Ah I cant your page is restricted lol let me know if you want the link
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorFlossie
Yep that is the traditional way Kayleigh. We're having the same, but I'm not having a MOH or chief bridesmaid so that will be one less seat on the top table xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
That's alright then Flossie! My MOH is getting married August this year and she keeps disagreeing with me about it lol xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
I don't know what to do. I have my MOH and 1 other BM but the other BM is OH sister so she should be on top table but then the top table isn't symmetrical
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFlossie
edited
Just because she is your OH's sister, or a bridesmaid, doesn't mean she should be on the top table! I'd probably just sit her with other family/other people she knows? I don't think it matters about the top table being symmetrical either, ours won't be.
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
my other 3 BM's are sitting on one of the front tables - and actually being honest my MOH is sitting with her new husband on one of the other tables and one of my other BM's (who I class as another MOH) will be at the top table lol xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
that's what I thought but shes very prone to strops and not being on the top table would cause one. She has a boyfriend now though so am hoping she will want to sit with him and not on the top table
I'm quite particular about things like that though. like if we had 1 table of 9 and the rest 10 it would just bug me forever. would have to work it out some other way or position the 9 somewhere particular.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFlossie
I know what you mean. I tried doing the table plan with individual tables of 8, but there would be a few with 10, a few with 6, a few with 7 etc. and it was annoying me! That's why we're opting for long tables instead of individual tables, it's much easier to find a place for everyone that way (I think).
And if your OH's sister throws a strop then that proves exactly why she shouldn't be at the top table!!!
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
I agree with Flossie on this one - she doesn't have any right to throw a strop about this! She'll sit where you say she sits and bloody enjoy it lol!! Luckily I can get away with having 1 table of 8 in the middle then 4 tables of 10 lol! I'm quite anal when it comes to things like too lol xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
m debating her being a bridesmaid but if I can win that one it will be a miracle! another post for another day after shes annoyed me :)
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
She isn't worth it Emily, better just leaving it as it is for the time being - a lot can happen in 28 months :)) xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
I know that's my thought see how things go
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
I really haven't had a lot from 2 of my BM's but ones planning her own wedding and the other one works all the time and I only see her every now and then - but its nice. I know a lot of BM's can be such hard work and I'm just glad their all happy to leave me to get on with things. Whatever I'm happy with they are too hehe xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
my thing with her is that even when I show her BMs dresses online I don't get any reaction at all and my phone/tablet shuved back at me. Plus have only had a handful of proper conversations since I asked her to be BM - about anything. even not weddingy. I get excited and call OH when we do its that rare
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
When was the last time she mentioned the wedding? I've got a BM who is completely the opposite as well! she's constantly asking about everything - its nice she wants to be involved but she's also trying to pick things that I don't want and don't need then getting offended when I say no lol! I'm just ignoring her strops for the time being but when it starts being like 6 months before if there are any strops that's it lol xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
talking to her mom about her hat because I found I really good shop local to us and her new boyfriend said that she was saying she wants to see my dress. I felt bad that she isn't but at the same time I made a decision and am keeping to it. only my mom dad and sister will see it before the day.
everyone who has asked if they can give me ideas I have said yes that's great I want ideas. but please don't be offended if I say no. they have been ok with it or not suggested anything since
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Exactly! As long as they know you might say no and in return not use that idea then that's that lol! the main thing is not to feel pressured into changing things and /or doing things you don't want xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
I know. some people think that they can just change things they don't like for no reason. if theres a valid reason then its different (like OH family hayfever therefore artificial flowers)
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
That's the same as me, OH has a really bad allergy to pollen so all flowers apart from the ones included with the venue are fake. I don't fancy seeing him with puffy eyes, runny nose and constantly sneezing lol!! xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
I didn't think about it as OH himself isn't too bad and I love flowers. but all his family are really bad so it would be unfair. hi mom mentioned it to be and with that you think fair enough.
but saying that colour doesn't look good on me is completely different
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorRachaelB76
hard thing is being polite but basically telling people to butt out as its your decision. Happy enough for ideas but dont push options x
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Well said Rachel!! x
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorSprucey
We are the same as oh doesn't have any family coming and my parents divorced when I was3 and have both remarried so a traditional top table isn't going to happen! Plus there's only like 40 of us so if everyone's on the top table barely anyone's out in front of us! Lol So we've gone for bride and groom our 2 bridesmaids and the best man and our daughter our flower girl as she's too little to sit on the kids table.
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CommentAuthorJadeI52
I would love the link Kayleigh, I've sorted out my profile now.
I am not having h2bs sister at our wedding because she's a pain in the ass and makes it more about her, so not going to be there. At the moment she doesn't even know we're engaged.
We're only having about 50 guests and we're going to have them mixed tables, better than having someone upset because they aren't sat with so-and-so. We are going to have what we want but we are going to take into consideration their problems
CommentAuthorKatieH
We are having it the traditional way but having Best Man's partner too as she only knows us.
Met in 2007
Started dating in 2009
Got engaged in 2014
Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16