Sorry about this but I am sat here on my own over-thinking things and just need to get it out. Last night me and H2B were sat in our bedroom, I was at one end of the bed and he was at the other, then his phone went off with 5 new messages. So he checks them then with a strange look on his face says there's nothing there and that the last one was from his work colleague a few hours earlier. He then said that it must of been emails or messages from the bay of e, now I would of believed this but it was the text message alert that came up on his phone and his bay messages and emails just flash up at the top of the screen (I know this as I have the same phone), he was then trying to convince me that this was the case but I can't believe that because it was definitely 5 texts he got! He even said it came up as 5 new messages. He works nights and left for work not long after this but it has been playing on my mind ever since. I want to believe him but there's just something not letting me.
I think the reason why I'm thinking of this so much is that a few months ago he was texting one of his girlfriends and met up with her without telling me, when I eventually found out he said he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be annoyed and cause an argument, we had a rough few days after this but eventually he convinced me that he wouldn't do it again, but now it feels like he might be all over again.
Am I just being stupid or should I confront him about it?
Sorry about the length of this just needed to get it out!
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorJessica29792
I think you should confront him about it. It may end up just pointless worrying but if something similar to this has happened previously, although he promised you not to do it again, you really need to clear things up. You are both due to get married and it is important that any kind of discrepancies or worries about the strength of your relationship be cleared up before you are married otherwise it may be too late. Now I am not being accusatory when I say that, but it is better that you find out now if say for instance he has been seeing an ex, whether it be innocent or not, than when you are married as it may destroy your trust in him. But on the other hand, he may just be planning a surprise for you which he is obviously trying to hide. Talk to him when you can, try not to come across as accusatory and try to stay calm and don't think the worst. Maybe cook a nice sit down meal for you both with a glass of wine where you can talk privately about it. I hope everything turns out OK for you, fingers crossed and good luck :) Please keep us updated? x
CommentAuthorclairenina
You should speak to him about it. Like Jessica said, be calm and have a clear head. Hope it goes ok x
CommentAuthorAprilS61
Jessica hit the nail on the head. My first thought was a surprise until of course you mentioned what happened previously which is a bit of a twist. I do think it is something you will have to confront him about. I hope it's innocent, (and Im sorry to put this thought in your mind, it's just as an example) if it wasn't, you wouldn't want to be walked all over by ignoring it. If you keep it to yourself and just wonder, you could be wondering about it for day's, a week etc, whereas if you just ask him it could be all innocent and over with in an evening. I hope all is ok x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
I would talk to him about - between us girlies - I'm going through the same thing. Very recently, as in 3 days ago, caught him - i kept calm and asked about it, didnt get emotional or upset etc and he told me the 'truth' - sadly for him I had already done the research when i first found the message - week ago - hes still hasnt come clean completely with me i'm supposed to be marrying him!! Ive sent him a really long message today - as i work days and he works nights - i'm not going to see him until late friday night but couldnt keep it in anymore. I shall also keep you updated as to how i get on and sorry for rambling I'll get to the point. Dont let him sweep it under the carpet - if there is anything hes done i mean - be strong and calm and make him really believe hes guna lose you. If something has been done/said and its just brushes aside whats to say it will ever stop?! I might very well be coming off this site later - depends hows things go with me. I'm not guna be taklen for a fool. xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
Thanks ladies, I think I will talk to him about it or at least just ask if there really was nothing there! I just hate arguing but the good thing about us is that we won't stop talking until something is sorted out. Don't know what I'm gonna do if there is anything happening as he's promised he wouldn't lie again. I feel like I'm being too oversensitive but I've been messed around before and I'm supposed to be marrying him, I don't care if he is texting another girl (as long as it's innocent), I just wish he'd tell me!
Kayleigh - sorry to hear your going through a similar thing, I hope it gets sorted out for you! Let us know how you get on! xx
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorAprilS61
Fingers crossed for you both! X
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
mines all sorted - massive MASSIVE really bad practical joke by his BM - great ey! What am I getting myself in for?! :-/ on the plus side i suppose BM feels so bad that he's paying for us to have a weekend away!!! hahahaaa... serves him right!!!
I hope your all's works out all good hun xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Wow Kayleigh that Bm sounds pretty crazy. So glad it's all resolved and I think a trip a way is definitely deserved!
Emma - you definitely need to sit down and have a proper chat to your H2B and explain that you feel like he is hiding something and you're struggling with this as he's gone behind your back before. I really hope things get sorted and you get some answers soon xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Hmmm I'd be like you, wouldn't be best pleased about h2b meeting up with an ex ... They're an ex for a reason after all.... And the fact he didn't tell you either is a bit weird, I just think if he knew it would upset you, then surely he shouldn't do it??
I think if he is planning a surprise I'd rather know now especially now it's making you think alsorts, definitely ask him bluntly and tell him no fibs,not sure how he managed it first time round if you both have the same phone but hey ya know I can't imagine 5 texts not saying anything?!?
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
Was he friends with his ex before they started a relationship? The reason I ask is I did a similar thing where I met up with my ex for a catch up as we were friends before we got together. I did tell oh that I was meeting a friend but failed to mention he was my ex because I knew it would start an argument and it was not worth the hassle.
Without discussing it with your oh, we can only speculate and accumulate! Like everyone has said, discussing it is the best option. Really hope you get it sorted x
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
edited
Sorry when I said girlfriend I meant girl who is his friend not ex girlfriend, I just found it strange that he didn't tell me then when I found out said he didn't tell me because he thought I would be annoyed, and we don't have the exact same phone just two separate phones that are the same model.
Anyway bit of an update..
I spoke to him last night and asked him to tell me there and then if anything was going on because if I found out in a few months time then I wouldn't be as calm and he said (and very convincingly), that there genuinely wasn't anything there when he checked and there was no way anybody could send 5 messages so fast, he said he doesn't know why he said it might be emails etc as when he thought about it he knows they pop up at the top and realised by saying that he has made me think something is strange. We spoke about it and I think I do believe him now. He said why would he be doing anything like that when I have this ring on my finger, we have been stronger than ever lately and he promised he would tell me everything from now on. So that did make me feel alot better!
Thanks for your advise, talking to him has made me feel alot better.
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorAprilS61
Glad everything is sorted and is good news! I don't know what goes through men's heads sometimes lol! x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorVelcro
blimey kayleigh, what did the best man do!? what a fool. at least he is paying for it now. i dont mind practical jokes, but not when it can mess with peoples emotions, that is just cruel and never funny imo. Ive seen a few things like that on tv/facebook and it's just not my cup of tea! oh hey, Il let you think i am cheating on you then BOOM ask you to marry me and it is all a massive joke. Id end up thumping him one
glad you have sorted it emma, weird glitches like that do happen, I know I have had mine pop up with a message and there has been nowt there only for it to reappear a day or so later!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorJessica29792
I am glad that everything is sorted out now Emma. Sometimes confronting people about things makes the situation a whole lot better. Like we all said, you could have been worrying for ages and ages thinking all sorts if you had just left it and not confronted him but at least it is all sorted now and you know it was completely innocent :) x
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
BM signed him up on a free dating site - basiclly taking the mick out of him and putting stupid pictures up as 'a laugh' only to find that one of my friends whose on there has a profile and saw his - needless to say he wont be doing anything like that again... EVER!! OH went mental at him, massive row but apologises all round and now all sorted out thank god...! OH didnt even know he did it till i threw my phone at him with the profile on there! Feel a little bad for me - I was vile but hes absolutely fine with me and said he would've done exactly the same thing! i will never understand what goes on in some blokes heads... I'd never even think of doing anything like it!!
On the phone glitch side of things mine will often vibrate randomly saying I've had 2/3 messages/whatspp/facebook/emails all at the same time yet i've got nothing lol!! Modern technology ey! what a pain!!! xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorVelcro
blimey, what a plonker he is!!!!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
Wow Kayleigh I would of gone mental too! But glad it was innocent in the end! So glad my H2B hasn't got any BM's like that though haha! Glad it's all sorted now!
And I know! Now that I think back to it I feel a bit silly for making something out of it and letting my head run away with itself but at least it's cleared up now!
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
edited
Glad you both got things sorted, Emma and Kayleigh :) Sorry Emma but I still don't understand why your H2B found the need to lie, that still strikes me as little worrying. If something is innocent then why lie so quickly? Its down to how you feel personally and if you trust him thats all that matters.
Your H2Bs BM has a horrible sense of humour Kayleigh but at least he's paying for your time away. What I don't understand is why make him a profile on a website he will never see even as a joke? If your friend hadn't seen it then your H2B would never have known or were his contact details on it?
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
He has got a horrible sense of humor and thats the same question i kept throwing at him he just kept his head in his hands and said it was only so he'd get links emailed and texted to him of older 'milfs' - i think he thought it was guna be funnier then what it actually was?! god knows but serious words were had!! and yeah it had his email and mobile number on there!! i was horrified!! Hes on very thin ice at the moment though, he knows i'm fuming about the situation as is H2B xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
Some people have a strange sense of humour, but glad it's all sorted. Hopefully that will be a lesson learnt from the BM's perspective! x
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
