Hi everyone I'm new to this & am getting married in just over 2 months:)My question is what did you do for your top table plan???My mother is paying for my wedding but doesn't want to sit at the top table.She says it's our day & since we have our own children who will be part of the bridal party she thinks it's only right that we all sit up front with best man,bridesmaids etc....She has suggested that the parents sit at a table each with a few of their close family members below each side of the top table......A bit like how the americans do it. Only problem is that the grooms mother thinks she's sitting at the top table & when I said I didn't know what was happening yet,she said "It's Tradition!!!"His dad won't even be sitting up top because I don't even think he's going to the reception so it would look silly with just my partners mum.I know this is going to cause an arguement as they've interfered from the start even though they are not paying.I want this day to be special but can't help thinking it's going to create a bad atmosphere if his lot don't get their way.HELP!!!Any advice??
CommentAuthorShowgirl
Its also traditional for the bride and her mother to be the only ones to organise the entire wedding with no interference from the groom's side... Your Mum's idea sounds lovely and that's probably what we would go with in that situation. We're actually not having a top table, just everyone on round tables because we both hate being the centre of attention and wanted to minimise the awkwardness for us where possible.
CommentAuthorDanielleMystic
are you following all the other traditions too? it really isn't up to the grooms mother especially if they're not helping pay for any of it. I'd definately go with your mother's idea - it sounds lovely x
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CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
I think your Mum's idea is great :o) What does your H2B think of it? It's not really up to your FMIL, it's your day. I have step parents so we're having a top table, and we'll have them on it aswell :o)
CommentAuthorKR84
Hi thanx for your replies every1.My H2B is pretty much going with what I say but I know he's worried about it as he was checking loads of sites about table planning last night & had said it was traditional for his parents to be at it.My mum has done so much for this & though the IL2B have asked what they could pay for they never really offered.His mother gave a small contribution towards the wedding which we were extremely grateful of but then told us it was a loan!!She had been crying poverty before it & I told her to wait until after christmas but she wouldn't.Now all we listen to is how she's broke & has to pay her loan.I thought this was really rude & offensive.She shouldn't have told us.
Oh and yes my h2b spent the money,nothing to do with me.
Woah! At first I thought you meant she was just lending the money to you - she actually took out a bank loan to give to you?! Did she learn nothing from the recession? Yes, it is traditional to have the parents on the top table but its not a rule! Loads of the ladies on here are having non-traditional set-ups. Get your OH to browse some of the threads on here as part of his research if he's worried about the top table. Oooohhh maybe have the top table only big enough for you guys and your little ones and then as your mother says, have the parents and remaining bridal party branching off. That way technically your MIL will be a part of the top table (attached to it) but not actually on it.
CommentAuthorKR84
Yes that sounds like a good idea.I'll run it by my OH & c what he thinks.Jeez all this 4 1 of the supposed happiest days of our lives!!Sometimes I wonder if it's 4 us or just 2 accommodate others....