We aren't getting married until end of May 2015 but as we are currently living in Bangkok and then Australia and doing some travelling until 31st January 2015 we have decided to send out our invites quite early as we aren't there to keep reminding everyone when it is and that they need a day off work!(I am thinking Oct or Nov this year but as h2b's Dad is designing them OH is saying we should send them out as soon as they are ready)...so my question is, what RSVP date should I put on there? I know that usually the RSVP date is closer to the wedding so im thinking they would need to RSVP at some point in April normally but as we are sending them out so early I don't really want it dragging on for 6 months? At the same time I don't want people to reply and then change it at the last minute cos it was so long ago?? Has anyone got any experience of sending out early invites or any married women on here who have sent them out early and had any problems?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions :) xx
CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
I personally think it is to early to send invites, peoples plans could change in the next 13 months. How about sending save the dates?
CommentAuthorRachelE118
How about save the date cards now then the invites about 5 months before?
CommentAuthorkittyh
Sorry ladies, I think maybe I rambled a bit in my first post...we aren't sending save the dates cos we aren't living in the UK at the moment - not back until 4 months before the wedding! We are travelling as well so sending out Save the Dates and invites is too much really as it will be our family who has to do it all. We are thinking of sending the invites out in Oct/November this year not now...so it will be 6-7 months before the wedding not 13. I just don't know what date I am meant to put as an RSVP? xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i would put the date as 1 month - 6 weeks prior to the wedding , this allows for late reply's without getting to close to the date
one thing i dont understand though if you are thinking of sending invites out Oct/ November this year it will be your family doing this ..so what is the difference with them sending save the dates out ?
Because then they will have to do two lots save the dates and invitations...we will be leaving Australia on 31st January 2015, then we have to move in with my sister and her boyfriend until we can move into our house (as it is being rented out until April 2015), between moving into my sisters and moving into our house we also have our hen/stag parties, my friends hen do and wedding and all the last minute wedding stuff and fittings etc...there is no way we would be able to do the invites as well when we get back at such short notice... :s
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
If it were me I'd probably post pone the wedding :/ I think if it were me I'd be too pushed to organise a wedding from abroad x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorAlexN29
If I wasn't told about a wedding, or told once a while ago and I got an invitation in Oct/Nov for the end of May I would have to decline as I would have already booked my summer holiday away. (not this year or next year as we have a wedding to pay for) I would personally just pay for save the dates and send them out a year before. Maybe you could buy them, address them, send to one person in the UK for them to then send on for you? Would still cost a bit but I would rather do that than risk people booking holidays at the same time as the wedding. We are moving house this year and people think we are crazy for organising a wedding for next year! I agree with Missweddles, if you don't have time to send invites how will you have time to sort out all the other bits? Wouldn't it be a lot easier organising a wedding next year for 2016 in the same country. My h2bs cousin organised her wedding from Australia and I saw the day before and she looked so ill from stress and she wasn't even moving house at the same time. I think it would be too much to take on at one time.
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I would try to let people know sooner rather than later, as people need to book time off, plus end of May might clash with the half-term and so families with children/people who work in schools may make plans quite far in advance. If you don't want to send formal save the dates, could you at least do them electronically (ie via FB/email)?
Re RSVP deadline: really that's up to you. We get married 2nd August this year, our invitations went out mid-March, and our RSVP deadline is May 1st. This is because we are limited on space, so have an 'A list' and 'B list', and we have spare invitations with an RSVP deadline of June 15th. Meaning, if people from the 'A list' don't RSVP by May 1st we have time to chase, and get the second batch out.
I want to know the numbers at least 6 weeks in advance so I have plenty of time to get the food numbers together (people have options for the day, so those need to be collated and emailed to the venue, and we have to tell the venue how people who are having steak want it cooked, etc), draw up the seating plan, etc, without feeling too stressed or rushed.
CommentAuthorSarah1865red
What about sending a save the date email as you could do that from abroad and that way people will be aware of the date and can book annual leave etc? You could then post the invites out when you arrive in the UK 4 months prior to the wedding? Or save the date postcards from wherever you are travelling might be fun!!!
Enjoy your travels :-)
Sarah x
CommentAuthorkittyh
haha i obviously have a very different style of organising to most people! we are very laidback and extremely organised, I have planned 90% off the wedding already, deposits paid, money is already saved and in the bank ready to pay in full so i definitely won't be cancelling or postponing it! I have a venue, a dress, a band, caterers, BM dresses, rings, a car, a florist, a church, a photobooth, a photographer, hair and make up sorted, a cake, a tiara being made...all before I left the UK 5 months ago so apart from fittings and the hen (which my girls are organising) and things that can't be done until nearer the time like dressing the venue etc I don't think there is really that much left to do? my invites which my FIL2B has designed are almost ready to be sent to my Aunt who is a calligrapher so she can send them out when she is done...all our friends and family know where we are and pretty much when the wedding is so thats not really an issue and I'm sure save the dates are a fairly recent thing, people must have got by without them before?! haha! all i really want to know is what people who send early invites and no save the dates would put/have put for the RSVP date!?
CommentAuthornatg85
I intend to give people about 6 weeks to reply. I am getting married next May and I will be sending mine out around Nov / Dec possibly Jan. I am sending Save the Dates 12 months in advance because a lot of my family are travelling to the wedding and need to book accommodation which is limited in the area. In my view people either reply straight away (within a week or two) or forget and need reminding.
CommentAuthorkittyh
Haha thanks Sarah and Barbie...for a minute there I was starting to doubt myself! Yes we will definitely be reminding people online (especially the usual useless suspects!) luckily nobody coming has any school age children and all the people who work in schools knew about the wedding date ages ago cos I asked them specifically when I booked the venue as it falls on the Friday of half term! so they are all good! All our friends are so excited about the wedding as we are the first to get married really so I really don't think people will be booking anything that coincides! :) x
CommentAuthorkittyh
yes Nat you are right, I know theres some people who won't be able to get that invite back to my parents house quick enough and some people who you literally have to call them up as they are going in to work to make sure they book the day off! luckily everyone apart from Joe's uni friends live fairly local so accommodation etc isn't a problem! :)
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
If you're back in the uk four months before the wedding, I'd do the RSVP date for then - gives you time to chase etc.
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I would do it for around 2 months before xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsH
We gave our invites out in the March, RSVP date by mid April and we got married in July. It allowed for those useless people who don't think deadlines apply to them! We didn't give out save the dates, and we coped!
I don't agree with people on here, we planned our entire wedding in 5 months and it wasn't a small affair. We were incredibly laid back, didn't fall out and everything was a joint effort. You sound like you've got all the big things done, it's just the finishing touches that need to be dealt with now and that usually happens in the last 6 weeks anyway!
Good luck with everything x
CommentAuthorkittyh
thanks ladies, thats helpful. Mrs H i do have moments where I think we have taken on a lot but then when i sit and actually think about what more I can actually physically do right now (home or away) there isn't really anything! and i would much rather have my cake and eat it AND get married than miss out on the opportunity of being here! I think I will have the RSVP date as the date we get back...that way when I see/call/contact people to catch up I can gently remind the people who haven't RSVP'd without feeling like a pest! xx
CommentAuthorMrsH
Just enjoy your time away, you've got 4 months to think about the wedding when you get back- don't let it over shadow your travels, after all it may be the only time you get to do something like this!
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
Just reading all the posts in this thread, I think its amazing how organised you are :) If you have 4 months when you get back and as you say all the big things are organised and all you have to do is a couple of little things couldn't you get your parents or H2B's parents to send out save the dates and send your invites yourself when you get home? xxx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorkittyh
Haha thank you! yeah i am pretty organised in general - lists are one of my most favourite things! Yeah we did consider doing it that way round originally but h2bs dad has designed the invites and because we luckily LOVED the first draft they are actually going to be ready a lot sooner than I first thought so I guess cos its given us the option of doing it earlier we want to! haha i am TOO excited for people to see them! xx
