FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Unorganized groomsmen...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • CommentAuthorTrasaD
      BadgeBadge
     
    Hi there, My h2b is begining to get a bit worried and I don't know how to help him, so I was hoping to ask you lovely people for some advice/suggestions.
    We have just under a year now before our wedding . My BMs and I are pretty much sorted as I have set up a group chat online where I have been sending them images of the dresses I like for their opinions etc so that everyone can see and voice what they do or don't like to make sure that they're all comfortable and matching or know when we're all able to meet up and talk to each other. I started this conversation at the beginning of the year and it has been working really well for me, so my h2b decided he would try to do the same thing with his groomsmen. Only thing being is, he's asked his cousin to be best man and 2 of his closest friends to be groomsmen, which is fine BUT every time he tries to get his conversation started about the wedding, his cousin just doesn't reply. He doesn't want to kick his cousin out of the wedding because they have been friends since they were tiny and it would probably cause a family argument. He's worried that he hasn't done anything for the wedding yet and that with his groomsmen not talking that he won't be able to. He's also not sure what it is that he needs to be doing either I don't think. But then, I'm not sure what the grooms responsibilities are to help him either....

    Any suggestions? xoxox
  2.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think you are probably worrying a little bit too early...its still quite a while til the wedding and while women are a LOT more bothered about what they are wearing etc for men its probably too far in advance for them to think about seriously. My OH has chosen his Best Man and groomsmen but other than that they haven't spoken about anything at all - not one thing in over a year! we are travelling now and won't be back until 4 months before the wedding and thats when they are going to get the suits sorted but I on the other hand have ordered the bridesmaid dresses and booked the hair and make up for the girls. I think it really depends on the guys, my OH is choosing the suits and arranging his own stag (cos he is the fussiest man in the world!) and his friends are just going to go along with it and make sure he has a great time! Some guys will arrange the stag for the groom but again probably not until a bit nearer the time. I really don't think you have anything to worry about yet. If your h2b is really fretting then maybe he should just go and try some suits on to see what he likes so he has an idea in mind of what he wants and the budget etc...? As for grooms responsibilities my h2b has tried the food and gone to see the venue and the band - other than that he just says yes or know to things that I have picked out! He reckons his main job is the speech and he has ages to write that! :p xx
  3.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    yes or no! silly autocorrect! xx
  4.  
    • SamanthaJ141
      CommentAuthorSamanthaJ141
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    you should get your h2b to have a chat with his cousin as his cousin might not know whats expected of him , you know what men are like
  5.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think it's still a bit early too...ours didn't start showing an interest til h2b started sorting suits and stag do at the 6month mark x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  6.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My H2B chose his best man etc. ages ago too, but hasn't really spoken to his best man since!

    We had a rough idea of what we wanted with regard to the suits, so David and I went to the suit hire shop with a friend. We picked what we wanted and he's basically told everyone what they're wearing.

    He's been very helpful with booking and arranging etc. but generally just agrees with everything I say ;o)
  7.  
    • CommentAuthorTrasaD
      BadgeBadge
     
    That's what I have tried telling him (that it's too early), I just don't like seeing him upset and worried it is all. But because we're doing things backwards (we're sorting out the venue last), he won't listen to me lol xoxox
  8.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    haha that is backwards! what made you decide to do it that way round? yeah i know what you mean...maybe suggest that he has a look for himself for the suits as a starting point like i suggested above maybe deciding on a colour/style, that way he will feel like he is doing something and it also means that once he has decided what he wants it will be much easier to direct the others nearer the time as there will only be one option and there isn't too many cooks as the saying goes...? thats what my boy is doing! he isn't one bit interested in anyone elses opinion on suits apart from mine maybe! fuss pot! xx
  9.  
    • *The NewMrsMalin*
      CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    The show him this thread Trasa so he can see what other people think. I too think it is a bit early to be really worrying; h2b knows what kinds of suit he wants and has talked to his best man about it which is all good but I just like to be organised though I think they are going to be sorting out suits (trying them on and getting measurements) nearer the time.

    Tell him not to worry as there is plenty of time for his cousin to get his butt I gear :)

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
    When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
    Fight for what you believe in!
  10.  
    • Mrs T. 2 Be
      CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I think this is called being a man!

    H2b knows exactly what he and his friends are like so much so that when it came to getting measured for the suits he was told by the shop to have them all go in the shop by the end of January but he told the groomsmen that it needed to be done by Christmas. That way all would be done by end of January ..... Fair play to H2b as this meant that they all were there on time lol.

    H2b's Best Man is the worst at times for this (he went and got measured middle of Jan lol) but I don't tend to get involved in any of the things that he needs or wants his groomsmen to do - his friends so up to him.

    Members signature icon
    Started Dating: 25th September 2005
    Engaged: 26th September 2012
    Getting Married: 25th May 2014
  11.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We went to the suit shop in March, but that's because I like to be organised! Everybody is different though. H2B's brother in law was still trying to decide what he wanted when they went to get measured in November! (they got married on Saturday). Perhaps he needs a gentle nudge in the right direction Trasa. Maybe arrange a date to go and have a look either just the two of you or with a friend, then he can go back to the Best Man etc. and say 'I tried this on what do you think?'.

    I'm sure it'll be fine :o)
  12.  
    • Becky1608
      CommentAuthorBecky1608
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Definitely sounds like a typical man! Can your H2B organise going for drinks with him to discuss things? Xxx

    Members signature icon
    29/09/2008 - The Day we met
    12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
    04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
    08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
  13.  
    • LauraY27
      CommentAuthorLauraY27
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would also say typical man but my h2bs best men have organised a complete stag do with a year to go. They've organised it for September which is 7 months before the wedding! So I can't say they aren't organised. Me, on the other hand, I don't even care lol.

    If it was left to my h2b it would be organised on the day! Give it a couple of months and then have a word xx
  14.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      BadgeBadge
     
    We're getting married in 6 months and although he's seen what suit he likes for him and the rest of the boys - he hasn't done a darn thing about it yet. Not too worried, all he has to do is literally get measurements and collect the suit the week of the wedding! Im sure he can managed that without too much instruction lol. I wouldn't worry just yet hun, there's plenty of time xx
  15.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Our groomsmen (4) organised my h2bs stag last week with 3 weeks until the wedding! They've done nothing to help or whatever... Men are men and don't look at weddig the same way we do... You've got ages anyway x

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  16.  
    • MrsR-C2b
      CommentAuthorMrsR-C2b
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    FranM76, that's almost the same as my groom. He still hasn't sorted the boys outfits, but with 3 months to go. I resigned myself to the fact that if they don't get it sorted they will look crap but I have worked hard to get my outfit together!!

    I agree with the other girls, men are men and they will get it done. Tell your H2B that it will be fine and you've got plenty of time :)
    xxx
  17.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My h2b has allowed me to pick the kilts etc, my bil says I should be no where near the guys outfits, I don't care I need to know what's happening so it all coordinates h2b is happy with this only problem we have is that one of the ushers doesn't like wearing kilts and want an opinion on what colour it is. They have a choice of 2 but only one is available fro. The kilt hire shop tha oh uses all the time and we are going to get ds kilt made from there too.

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  18.  
    • CommentAuthorTrasaD
      BadgeBadge
     
    Hey again :) hehe, yeah, I know it's backwards, but we've really got our eyes set on MH (the venue), the place is perfect, we're just not sure if we can afford it; so, what we're doing is is sorting everything else out first. The clothes, the cake, the rings etc and looking around at all venues this year and catering just in case this year, and if there's enough money left AFTER we have paid for everything else, then we'll put our deposit down for MH, which covers literally everything. The catering, the decorations, the entertainment AND the flowers (and in our case the transport), so we won't need to worry about any of it. If we can't afford MH, then we'll at the least be able to afford a registry office or another hotel and get the other stuff anyway :) But, because of that, my h2b is says that he wants to help out.more (as in with looking around etc I think) and he's beginning to get really down about it :(

    Ps, that's a great idea Mrs.T 2 b!! :) xoxox
  19.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    haha ah i get it! well if it works for you then thats great :) at least you have somewhere in mind and something to work towards! just don't leave it too late if you have a specific date in mind in case it gets booked up! i found the venue the number one most stressful thing to organise I am so glad that its done! xx
 

UKbride's £25,000 Wedding Competition Prize Partners

Enter Now