Wedding Forum - Evening guests and gifts?...

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Wedding Stationery > gift list/wishing wells: Evening guests and gifts?

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- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
  
  edited
Im going to my first wedding evening doo in a couple weeks time and have no idea on the expectations for evening guests? Do we bring a gift?

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I think when I've been evening do only I've mostly just given a card unless the invitation has actually mentioned a gift list, but it depends on the invite. There might have been one where money was specified in the invite so that's what I did. We've included a gift list card with all our invites.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I don't think I could turn up empty handed. Could you ask if there is a wedding list? Either that just get something little and take.

Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
- CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
We've normally just stuck £10 in a card. Maybe you could ask if they have a gift list x

2009 met my boy.
2011 had our baby girl.
2013 had our baby boy.
2016 we'll live happily ever after.
- CommentAuthorJoanna
Yes I'd definitely bring a gift if invited to the evening do. I'd simply ask them if they have a gift list x

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3

- CommentAuthorJoannaS
We always take a gift in the evening how about some vouchers x
- CommentAuthorLauraK7
We always take a gift too just money or gift vouchers in a card
- CommentAuthorbarbie86
I would gift £40-60 (per couple) if I was invited to an evening reception. I would either ask if they had a gift list, or else gift cash/vouchers (probably cash).
- CommentAuthorBethanyS
I think a gift card or vouchers would be best. x
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Really £40-60 for an evening guest seems a but steep, I would not even expect that much from my all day guests. Unless they are close family like parents

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorbarbie86
I tend to follow the idea of 'covering your plate', so it would depend on the type of wedding (eg if I were being asked to bring my own drink, or a plate of food for the buffet, I might give slightly less); but in general, yeah, that's probably what I'd give. As a day guest I'd probably give about £100 plus between us.

For people in my social circle that's about the norm; people in OH's social circle would give a bit less. It's very individual.
- CommentAuthorBeckyU98
personally i would try and spend as much on them as they had inviting me. so an evening do is normally about £15 so i would probably give £20. depends how close i am to the couple too. i got invited as an afterthought when someone's partner couldnt attend so i just got them a card as they wouldnt have got any extra from that person anyway. i would probably put money in a card as a £10 gift probably wouldnt be that nice or useful anyway x
- CommentAuthorMel D
For just the evening do we usually spend £30 as a gift for the couple (who usually want vouchers)

Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
That seems a very US way of thinking, makes me remeber that woman who wrote a snooty letter to a guest who gave a gift basket woth goodys in rather than cash. My day guests are only costing in about £40pp, evening guests about a £5r as its not a open bar!
You say about if you get asked to bring a bottle but most evening doo's you have to pay for your own drinks anyway!

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorElizabethF49
it depends on whos wedding it is. Last year we went to my little sisters best friends wedding evening do only and we gave her £50.00 She is like another little sister thought and if I had it I would have gave her more.

My best friend was getting married and I planned on giving her £100.00 (but that was an all day event)

After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
As the bride I never expected a gift from my evening guests and deliberately removed any reference to gifts from the additional information sheet I sent with the invitations. However, my evening guests all turned up with cards and gifts which I was so thankful for. The only thing I would have been disappointed not to receive is a card.

As a guest however, even an evening guest, I will always bring a card and token gift such as a bottle of bubbly, it'd be rude not to bring anything.

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
^see thats the same as me, a card an a small gift , I would not spend £50 on my Ohs birthday , so why would I on a friends wedding for the evening where im having to pay as it is. The friend in question is distant we used to be close at college over 4 years ago and go clubbing an I would stay at hers but now live far apart and both have kids, and was suprised to get a invite. I would not invited me if i were her. Its prib coz she knows im a dance machine like her do will get the dancefloor grooving. Im thinking a £20 voucher and a card from both of us.

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I'd stick twenty quid in a card, if I was in that situation

My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013

The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
- CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
If you don't want to spend much buy a card and a bottle of cheap fizz and a box of chocs. It may not be much but i am sure the happy couple will enjoy drinking the wine and eating the chocs while choosing the pics for their wedding album or writing their thank you letters xx
- CommentAuthorStephanieM71
We normally give £20 in a card for evenings, but mrsthomson2b's idea is great :)
- CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
I'd probably give some vouchers or money :)

Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
- CommentAuthorShowgirl
This thread is so educational - I haven't been an evening only guest and just assumed they wouldn't give anything so wasn't going mention anything about gift list/money on the reception invites... am now totally rethinking my invite wording just in case of the evening people would like to give us something.
- CommentAuthorprincesspixie
i've usually just given a bottle of champagne if I'm an evening guest unless they asked otherwise xx

Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
Big wedding 18/06/2016
- CommentAuthorbarbie86
Lana: as I said, for me it depends on the wedding.

At ours we're having a buffet costing £20 a head, plus we're putting £2500 behind the bar (approx £25 a head). If I were going to a similar wedding I would probably give £40-60 between us (and most people in my circle will have similar weddings eg a lot of money behind the bar/open bar).

If it was a cash bar, and a simpler affair, then I'd give a bit less; but would still give at least £30 between us. That's the least I personally would be OK with.

That's just me though, and, as I said, our circle. Things are different for different people; in some social circles that would be considered over-generous, but in ours it isn't.
- CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
  
  edited
I think the level of the gift should reflect the relationship with the couple getting married...

Which prob says a lot that we had people who came to our evening do were happy to eat all the amazing food but couldn't even bring a card ( things like that I remember ....for a long time )

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- CommentAuthorBride of Frank
In the past I have given a card and a gift whether evening or day but after reading forums for the past year I have gathered that most people prefer money to a bit of tat, so in future I will give a card with cash in but its unlikely it would be over £20 as we are skint and most of are friends and family would understand that I hope. I personally wouldn't care if people turned up empty handed to mine, after all I didn't invite them so that I would receive gifts, so I have no expectations. If you want to just give them a card I can see no reason why you shouldn't, if they were expecting more, well thats their problem not yours ;)
- CommentAuthorBeckyU98
  
  edited
me and H2B have said that any weddings we go to from now on we will give £50 day and approx £20/£30 if we were only invited to evening as after spending £15,000 on our wedding we know how things add up. i would be pretty annoyed if someone turned up without a card/money if they were invited to our day do tho as some families we are paying like £200 for them to come. but i wouldnt be that bothered if someone turned up to evening without anything but a card would be nice. i wouldnt expect anything off friends coming to evening but i have left the money gift poem in all invites as it would spoil the look if i took it out lol x
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
If evening only, we've always given around £20 or the equivalent in gift (nice bottle of champagne or gift card for next etc) especially if there's gonna be evening reception food ... I'd feel well cheeky if I just turned up with just a card x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthorSJJ
I usually give £30 if I'm only invited to the evening, but it all depends on how close you are to them, and how much you can afford really. I read that article on the unappreciated gift basket - made me LOL.xx
- CommentAuthorKirstyW49
As an evening guest we usually gift around £20... not been to a day time for years!!! Boo hoo xx
- CommentAuthorHelainaH
If you want to put in a little something in a card, I'd say £30 is fine. I wouldn't expect any thing from an evening guest, and definitely not off the gift list.

The subject of "covering your plate" was something me and my hubby only found out about a year ago. We had always said, if people want to get us something from our GL, or put some money in a card that would be great; but we weren't upset by those who didn't - they had to pay to get to service/venue, and accommodation, which would have added up. We had some people that didn't get us anything; did it make me upset? Nope, I just read their nice card and put it up with the rest :-)
I would think that the most important aspect of the wedding is sharing it with loved ones, not seeing how much you get from people....

But that's my opinion, and everyone should do what makes them comfortable x
- CommentAuthorLauraF89
I think if evening guests bring a gift/card with money/vouchers etc then it's a bonus, id expect (sounds awful) it from day guests but i would never ask someone where my gift was if they didn't bring anything, i understand that not everyone can afford to give gifts/money. We wouldnt be upset if someone didn't get us anything, we wouldn't invite someone just for a gift in return. We take a gift or give money if we go to the whole day event.

Weddings we've been to we have taken a card with a bit of money in if it's just the evening that we are invited to.

xxx

October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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