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  1.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    I know the done thing is to book the Church first, but we have fallen in love with a particular venue and they have given us two Saturdays in August 2015 which they are available. We cannot not have this venue, nowhere here comes close to how amazing it is. It's just the venue we have to have..... we don't have a meeting with the Church until next weekend.... and I've also contacted another Church as we're not sure which Church we want to go for, so we have no idea when we'll be able to book the Church and I'm getting concerned that the dates will get booked up for the venue.

    If we can't do those dates I suppose we'll have to start again and look at other months, we'd discussed doing it any weekend but as we both work in schools the summer hols seem perfect as we can go straight on honeymoon rather then go back to work a day later. Now we've spoke about that I want it, so the other option if we miss out on bookings for the venue is wait until 2016, which my fiance really doesn't want to do, I'd prefer not to do it that way either.

    So my question is, am I going to really cause problems for myself if I book the venue first and just try and find a Church which will fit in with those dates?




  2.  
    • LauraY27
      CommentAuthorLauraY27
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    We spoke to the vicar of our church before booking our venue for April '15, and he said anytime after Easter is good for him, we can have the church and to let him know exactly the date once we'd booked the venue. We booked the venue provisionally for 7 days which gave us time to confirm the date was fine with him. We needed to book the venue because they were nearly fully booked.

    Ring the venue on Monday and they should hold the date for at least 7 days, this was protocol for every venue we looked at. Do that, and then that'll take you up until after you've spoken with the church. We didn't want any old church, our church has a lot of sentimental value for h2b and his family so it was important to us that we had that church. X
  3.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    Thank you,

    I think we're going to cancel the meeting at the Church next sat as its the church of England one, there are three Catholic Churches we can look at and I think we'd go for them first. I'm Catholic (none practising) and my fiancé is not baptised in any Church, we thought getting married in a Catholic church would be more complicated then it actually is and I've thought about it and realised although I'm not practising, I really want to get married in a Catholic Church if possible as it would feel right really.

    We've decided to call the venue tomorrow though and provisionally book the date, pay the deposit as soon as we can and see how we get on with the Church, now we're going down the Catholic route I don't know if we'll be able to book it straight away, but my thoughts are we're looking more then a year in advance, if our first choice Church isn't available, surely one of the other two Catholic Churches will be and failing that the Church of England one. A year in advance I'm sure all 4 Churches won't be booked. (I hope anyway) x




  4.  
    • LauraY27
      CommentAuthorLauraY27
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    They shouldn't all be booked that far in advance tbh. If your oh isn't baptised he may need to be or special permission obtained by the "bishop". C
  5.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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      edited
     
    With Catholic churches it's about whether you worship there or have links to that particular church. Priests can be very careful about who they will marry in their church and are wary of those they've never seen before. I'm a practising Catholic and it wasn't easy just booking our wedding at the church. I attended mass every week at the cathedral down the road from where I work, I needed paperwork done by my local parish priest to marry in the church my parents got married, where my sister and I were baptised and where I also had my first holy communion. My local parish priest wasn't too happy about it and took some persuading to do the paperwork. Also to marry a non Catholic you need to get dispensation from the bishop, luckily hubby is baptised although not Catholic so getting dispensation wasn't hard.

    Many priests will want to know why you want to marry in church if neither of you practise the faith.

    In relation to booking the venue and church, most will do provisional bookings and hold the date for a couple of weeks without charging you. I provisionally booked both our church and reception venue, then confirmed the church first before reception venue because for us the church was the most important thing for our wedding and I knew we would just find a reception venue to fit around that.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  6.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    That's why I'm planning on booking the venue now, we don't mind starting to go to Church now and getting to know the priest before booking the wedding. Our first choice Church is our parish one, the reason I looked it up is because I spoke to the priest at my childhood Church and he said I needed permission from that priest to marry there. We've decided we'd rather get to know our priest and hopefully marry at that Church, my nephews and niece go to the primary school that is attached to that Church and apparently the priest is really nice.

    I respect the Church despite getting out of the habit of going and wouldn't just be using it to get married in. The priest also told me about getting dispensation from the bishop which I was assuming was just a formality and not too difficult as my Dad was Church of England and he married my mum in a Catholic Church, my BIL isn't Catholic and my friends husband isn't either and they all married in Catholic Churches.

    Our other choices of Church are my childhood one which my Nanna still goes to and knows the priest very well, he comes to pick her up and take her to Church on a Sunday and he was the one who told us we just need permission from our priest if we want to marry there. The other two options I don't have a connection to so may be more difficult but I'd like to think if we've been going to Church for a while our priest would happily give us permission to get married in one of the other Churches if our chosen Church was not available on that day.

    Would we seek the dispensation from the bishop before or after we get a date?




  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    After most likely as you can book the date as far in advance as you like but then all the paperwork including the dispensation paperwork is done no longer than 6 months before the wedding. You will have to attend a marriage preparation course before the paperwork is done too.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    Thank you, yeah we knew about the marriage preparation course and we're more then happy to do all that. Thanks for all the advice :)




  9.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    No worries, any time, if you want to know more just let me know x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  10.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    I was worried about telling the Church it had to be on that date once it comes to booking with them to be honest, but my sister said she wanted a particular date because it was special to her and the priest just checked the diary and it was free. Obviously it's easier if that happens with us, but I'm hoping our priest will understand and not mind us going to another Church if need be




  11.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    I'd suggest attending mass for a couple of Sundays. It will depend on how busy your Parish church is. The one we got married in only had 2 Saturday's left available in May 2013 and we were looking at dates in January 2012. Then after giving me the 2 available Saturday's to choose from a couple of hours later the parish priest contacted me to say one date had just gone and if I wanted to pencil in the final available Saturday. We just snapped it up then once I had the go ahead from my parish priest confirmed the date and then booked our reception venue.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  12.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    Well it was kinda like that. We had a couple of weeks when both were provisional bookings because I was waiting for my parish priest. It was a nerve wreaking timr.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  13.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    We're going this Sunday and the plan is to go for a couple of Sundays, I have heard they don't do many weddings (not sure how true this is) because the majority of the congregation are older people.


    Just another question not concerning the wedding, but as I have not been to Church in a while, do I need to go to confession before I take the Eucharist?




  14.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    Technically yes, my dad goes to mass every Sunday but won't take the communion because he's not been to confession for decades, however, me, I'm naughty, I've not been to confession since I was at primary school so that is about 22 years ago and I still go up for communion.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  15.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
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    They may not have many weddings but there will be some and don't forget there are christenings and other feast days and celebrations they schedule in.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  16.  
    • CommentAuthorJessicaL77
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