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Wedding Forum - Stress about no vicar!! :( help...

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  1.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    when i first joined i wrote about how the vicar left the church and the church was vicar-less and couldnt get in touch with anyone to make sure the church was actually booked...

    anyway

    there is still no vicar!!
    i have been in touch with the church warden, and said i don't know what i am doing, how do i do my order of service etc.
    i have actually done it online on the CofE website but i still want to go through it with somoene.
    so he said well the vicar (retired) he knows who covers occasionally for services at the church doesn't like his number being given out and unconvincingly said he would speak to him on Sunday when he see's him.
    he said he would arrange our banns to be read in the church (not convinced he will!! )
    didn't tell me how i arrange to get the banns read where i live!
    oh he said he would book an organist but yeh he didn't convince me with that!
    he couldn't be less interested if he tried!
    worried its all going to go t*ts up!! :(

    any advice or help i would love thanks!!!
  2.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
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    Are you able to attend service this Sunday to have a quick chat with the vicar directly afterwards?
  3.  
    • Officially Mrs M
      CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
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    8th September 2012 I married my best friend
    1st September 2014 our little family grew by one

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  4.  
    • AllishiaW
      CommentAuthorAllishiaW
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    This is exactly the same as me!! We booked the church last April and in September we had a letter from our vicar saying although the wedding is still going ahead,he will not be taking it as he's moving to Gloucester!! When we booked we only booked the day and not a time,so we've since been in contact with the church warden who got hold of the calendar and has booked us in at 2 o'clock!! Other than that I have no idea what's going on!! I too need to find out about the banns where I live etc!! X
  5.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    nop im on a 12 hour shift. and the service isnt always in our church!
    Allisha you just have to keep phonin the church warden i had to fill in a form with him about my parents jobs n h2bs parents jobs n stuff apparently thats the form for the banns....so he says..
    i even emailed the bishop saying what do i do etc etc he emailed back saying speak to the church warden..copied him in the email and he never even bothered with that.
    might have to email bishop again :(
  6.  
    • The-Future-Mrs-B
      CommentAuthorThe-Future-Mrs-B
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    Could you maybe get in touch with a vicar of one of the other churches near you to see who is covering the parish of where your church is.
  7.  
    • The-Future-Mrs-B
      CommentAuthorThe-Future-Mrs-B
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      edited
     
    I've put a link on your wall, don't know if it will help.
  8.  
    • AllishiaW
      CommentAuthorAllishiaW
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    Our original vicar did all that before when we booked our date! I'm going to ring then up on Monday and see what's happening! It seems like your church warden is as much use as a chocolate tea pot :(
  9.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    noone seems to know anything.... hope you have more luck than me allishia!! xx
  10.  
    • orangezest
      CommentAuthororangezest
     
    Hi, we are in the same position in that our vicar retired last year and has not been replaced but we have been able to organize everything through the local Dean, she was able to go through everything with us as was our point of contact until it was decided which vicar was actually going to take the service. She then rang us and gave us his number and we now have a meeting set up with him to go through things. Her number was printed on the notice board outside the church could you not perhaps be able to do the same?
  11.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
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    wow this sounds like an unneeded stress… i don't know where to start with booking the church (I'm a bit clueless with things like this) and our vicar is there haha xx

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    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  12.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    dont think there is a dean the bishop said to go through the church warden...
    he said he would phone me next week when he has spoken to a retired vicar "who is most aimable out of the retired vicars" whatever that means..
    so if he hasnt phoned me by friday then i gta phone him again i guess :(
  13.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
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    There will definitely be an area dean, as that is how the hierarchy of the Anglican church works. The dean is below the bishop, and in charge of a smaller area. If you do some searching on google, you might be able to find some information about the local anglican hierarchy.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  14.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    ah cool!
    Thanks will have a look when my nights have finished and had no luck with the church warden!
    :)
    xx
  15.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
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    You could also ask at another parish church nearby if there is one that is convenient and has a vicar. Chances are it will be covered by the same dean, and if it isn't the vicar might well know who the dean for your parish is. A dean will cover a number of parishes; it just depends on where the border is between one deanery and the next.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  16.  
    • CommentAuthorJessicaL77
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      edited
     
    EDIT MODS PLEASE DO NOT POST LINKS ON THE FORUM IT IS AGAINST THE ADVERTISING RULES.

    YOU NEED TO STOP POSTING THIS ACROSS THE FORUM
  17.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    h2b is going to be ringing vicar where we live, to get our banns read, so if he seems nice he is going to ask him for some help!
    it is a stress i dont need though!! :(
    xx
  18.  
    • AllishiaW
      CommentAuthorAllishiaW
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    I'm ringing the church again tomorrow and hope I get somewhere-such a pain in the butt isn't it!! X
  19.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    Ahh hoping we don't have the same trouble as you then, we have a meeting with the Church warden to book our wedding, as there is no vicar at the Church at the minute.... so he'll be arranging a visiting vicar. We might end up with a vicar by the time of our wedding, as we're looking at August 2015, but now I'm going to worry if we've booked the Church warden what will happen when we do get a permanent vicar, will he have to honour the wardens bookings?




  20.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
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    There must be other ppl getting married in that church in the run up to yours? ... If there's is getting sorted then I wouldn't worry too much, but I can imagine what you're feeling as I like to be in control and it's not nice not knowing what's going on x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
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  21.  
    • CommentAuthorMattsBride
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    Eeek! We have this situation our vicar moved to work in a prison!
  22.  
    • AllishiaW
      CommentAuthorAllishiaW
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    Sooooo-rang the church warden today,and he basically said they are interviewing vicars in the next 2/3 weeks (I didn't know they even do that lol) and to ring back in 3/4 weeks and hopefully it will be good news for us!! I did explain I can't sort oos out until I know what's going out and he said he completely understands!! So fingers crossed that things are getting there?! Hope you get yours sorted soon hun?! X
  23.  
    • BeckyU98
      CommentAuthorBeckyU98
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    lots of people commenting on here about getting your banns read at your own church. this is your own responsibility to arrange and you just email or call your church and they will set them up for you. really easy x

    as for church weddings they certainly dont seem to be very organised in my opinion. i dont even know how much our church will cost yet and getting married in 9 weeks! x
  24.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    the church warden is arranging the banns getting read at the church where the wedding is and then we are getting in touch with the vicar where we live for banns to be read...

    well i havent had any luck with the church warden getting back in touch...i dont have much faith in him to be honest.. going to see if the vicar where we live is nice n get advice from him about the service....

    xx
  25.  
    • AllishiaW
      CommentAuthorAllishiaW
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    Well I now have a vicar :) she's female which I'm quite happy about (hoping she's like Geraldine from the vicar of dibley) but she's coming in May-so I can't do oos until I've actually spoke to her which is pushing it abit!! The church warden has gave me his email address and to forward a msg to him (with all the questions or queries I want to know) and he will forward it on to her and it will be her decision if she wants to go through him or deal with me personally!! So fingers crossed :) x
  26.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
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    VIc, it might even be worth asking if the vicar where you live could do the service, if he/she is available. My H2B is a parish warden, and sometimes deals with making sure that a vicar knows if banns are to be read, and making sure that organists are available. However I think the vicar, Caroline, tends to make the arrangements. Do you know anyone in the congregation who could ask questions on your behalf?

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  27.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It might also be worth checking if there are any midweek services that you could catch to speak to the warden, if Sunday morning is no good for you.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  28.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I finally got a number for a vicar! not sure if its him who will be doin the service, but its someone I can speak to as I am clueless!! :) just got to phone him... hopefully I can meet him next week before my nights start again! and then I can make order of services! :D
    xx
  29.  
    • AllishiaW
      CommentAuthorAllishiaW
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    :) ahhh that's good then!! That's all I want to do,just speak to someone as like you I'm clueless (no offence) lol x
  30.  
    • *The NewMrsMalin*
      CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
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    Can't really help but hope it resolves itself :)

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  31.  
    • vic:)
      CommentAuthorvic:)
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    haha im clueless... I been to one wedding since I was about 7..im now 25 lol. h2b hasn't been to an English wedding I don't think...so he isn't much use lol
    I wna get order of services sorted that's why I want to meet a vicar lol... my printer is tempremental so will take a long time... and when I do nights (every other week nearly) iv lost out on 5-6 days of doing anything weddingy.
    time is flying by though...99 days to go eeekk
    xx
 

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