there are one or 2 really old threads on this so i thought i would make a new once to get some fresh ideas and opinions!
so will you be using the words obey in your wedding vows? i like to keep with tradition and i think ill be including this in my vows to H2B. ive done a quick search and this is apparently what the 'obey' part means in wedding vows:
"The origins of the word obey can be traced back to the Latin dictionary and means “to listen deeply,” while the Oxford dictionary defines it as to “do what one is told.” The problem is that today we equate obedience with power and domination. But in the Bible submission or obedience is more about outlooks than individual rights. It is a desire to be unselfish and not to demand our own way and does not infer that once married a woman becomes a second-class citizen who relinquishes all of her rights. Equally, it certainly does not give a husband the right to demand that whatever he says goes. Rather it suggests a desire to accept the other’s wishes not out of subjection but willingly, because of love."
just interested to see others views? xx
CommentAuthorMrsRusty2B
Nope, if the vows still say "to love, honour and obey" I'm asking our registrar if we can change it to something like "to love, honour and cherish" instead. The concept of obeying (in the "do what you're told" sense) sounds horrible to me.
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I agree with MrsRusty2B; I need to look into the vows actually, I'd ideally like to tailor them to us.
BTW, does anyone have a link to any examples?
CommentAuthorkatielea100
I've never obeyed and never will ;) naughty girl lol On a serious note I'm not his property he can't do as he wishes with me or tell me what to do X
CommentAuthorTaidiN
I wouldnt use the word obey it makes me feel like a slave. But he will be using it. Lol. But in all seriousness I thing its very old fashioned and these days marriage isnt about obeying its about loving each other and honouring that love. So I thing we might write our own. Xx
I am not having obey, I do not obey h2b and he would never expect me to. We have also chosen to not be pronounced man and wife, but husband and wife as we are equal and I'm not an object that is owned xx
CommentAuthorSonya
The booklet sent to us by the registrar doesn't even have it as an option! H2b keeps joking he's adding it but he knows it won't be happening!
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorKirsty
We are thinking of replacing with to nuture, adore and love you forever. But we may just write our own.
CommentAuthorVelcro
Il keep the vows as they are but il sneakily stick a 'not' in on the obey part :D
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
As far as I know when you give notice, your given a pack to make your selection of how you want to do vows, wording etc, I will not have 'obey' in our vows, and will make sure the registra pronounces us Husband and wife as opposed to Man and wife as I find that just annoying, To me it feels like hes the man an im just his wife. Also i don't mind being mrs hands but not mrs Adam Hands.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I would say it if H2B did as well, as marriage has to be equal from the start. However neither of us are fussed about it, so we'll just leave it out.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Ye I agree with MrsRusty about the cherish thing; obey feels a little demeaning.
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
'Obey' is part of the church vows, not part of the standard civil ceremony (although of course, you can add it if you wish).
I don't have a massive issue with it but wouldn't personally opt to have it...
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Lana, we got given a pack when we gave notice of how the ceremony would or could proceed.
It didn't have any vows - in a civil ceremony there's only two 'legal' bits - you declare that you are legally free to marry and then the I so and so take you such and such to be my wedded wife/husband etc.
There's the option to add in the exchanging of rings, (the I give you this ring as a token of my love etc) and you can write your own vows, however our registry office wouldn't give us any 'pro forma'' - we had to write them ourself and have them approved by the registrar - we didn't go down this route, but they did say they couldn't be the same as the church vows (ie promising to love, honour and obey, sickness and in health til death do us part etc) but I don't know how much you would need to change to make them acceptable.
It might be different for different districts - they might have a standard set of non religious vows, although I did like the idea of writing our own vows, h2b was worried he'd be too nervous and didn't like to speak much. But I do think having your own personal vows are lovely.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
I am not obeying!
We have chosen our vows now from the ceremony book and have gone against obey. In general our vows are more about loving each other and being each others best friend.
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorInDreamland
We certainly didn't have that in our vows. We had a traditional Catholic ceremony and they were not in the vows we had to take x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorStephanieM71
I told h2b I would agree to 'obey' in exchange for him cleaning toilets and oven forever - he politely declined lol.
Seriously though I wouldn't have a problem saying obey if it was unoptional in the vows, as I know he would never see himself as 'above me' or actually force me to obey him or do anything that I didn't want to x
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Thankfully that word is not used in our catholic vows...
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorBlue
Obey wasnt even an option in our pack, H2B checked as he thought it was a brilliant idea
