Sorry to rant ladies but am having a wobble. ME and Dan never argue but we have just had a massive row over me wanting to give my son something else to eat as he's still hungry! Sounds silly i know but as far as the kids are concerned I can never do right. Dan is really strict and I'm a fair bit more lenient. When it comes to how they should be raised we have very very different ideas! He wont compromise so i always have to give in and do things his way! Should i be marrying sum1 who doesnt respect my decisions on raising my children????
CommentAuthorGoff
You need to talk to each other to make sure that you are both singing from the same hymn sheet so to speak. My ex husband and i had very different views, but i was the stricter one! lol
However, the kids have turned out just fine... but you need to speak to him to talk about how you feel about things and see if you can meet in the middle honey x x
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
I agree with goff but at the end of the day he is ..your son
Lady Lisa, I wouldn't worry about it, I'm fairly sure me and my OH are going to argue massively when we have kids! He's probably going to be very strict and be all for smacking, which I'm against.. it's going to cause arguments, but important things always do!
Arguing isn't a problem - it's what you do about it afterward that can be :)
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
i agree with the girls you need to sit down and talk about it and make him understand that u do have a say in what way the kids r raised as much as he does... :)
I've tried that Goff hun and he's not wavering, the thing is Aidan is my son from a previous partner and yes he's strict with him but hes going to be really strict with Lilly as she's a girl and I worry that she's not going to be allowed a Life! Yes she's a girl and she needs to be acreful but my view is that as long as she knows she can talk to me about anything we can deal with any problems that arise. But shes never going to be allowed a bf, friends, Its just sad! And i will put my foot down and we will fall out over this! He doesnt really listen very well.lol I love him with the whole of my heart and in every other aspect of life the fact we are so very different works for us, but I dont want the kids to suffer for it!xx
CommentAuthorGoff
Ooooooh......Aidan......thats a toughie. My kids are not Marks and he would not DARE interfere in how i brought them up. He supports me any decisions i make with the kids, and he supports them wholeheartedly, but when it comes to discipline.....thats my job.
Your Lilly is a different story - but if you are fearful that he is being TOO strict - you need to tell him. Kids need to be allowed to be kids - and i dont mean running riot - they need to know right from wrong, but it sounds like he could be over-protective, and this may ultimately lead to them not having the space and the chance to make their own mistakes without being chastised constantly - thats how kids grow and form opinions. If they are constantly bollocked for stuff they will be frightened of having their own opinions and will be constantly looking for approval - and thats not good. My folks were very strict, and for years - even after i had my kids, i felt i had to seek approval for things - i wasnt allowed to make my own mistakes....but now at nearly 40... ive learned that the best way is my way, and if its wrong, then i know for next time.
Good luck honey x x
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
