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Wedding Forum - H2B says he wont do one!?!?!...

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  1.  
    • Shazk
      CommentAuthorShazk
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    So talking about the wedding and was joking that will be nice to hear h2b speech as it will have to be all nice to me and tell me how lovely I look etc (not a man of many word is he so doesn't say it that often) and he says he not doing a speech :O!!!!

    I dont no if to be annoyed, upset or offended at this, I understand that he shy but it all going to be family and friends and irs really nagging at me that he says he dont see point of doing one so not doing it!?!?!

    So as it stands I will only be having 1 speech and that will be from my dad will this be really odd? I would like to think i would be able to do a speech but I think i will find it far to emotional for lots of reasons and because alot of special people who should be there won't be :'(

    I dont no how I can get him to change his mind on doing at least a little one any ideas greatly received x x x

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  2.  
    • madison_uk
      CommentAuthormadison_uk
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    weve agreed not to have any we don,t want the added stress of it all, and it won't effect the day at all we just want people to be relaxed




  3.  
    • Mrs Davro
      CommentAuthorMrs Davro
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Do you not have presents for the mums and bridesmaids? Tell him that all his speech has to be is 'thanks everyone for coming, doesn't she scrub up well, here bridesmaid have a present'
  4.  
    • Shazk
      CommentAuthorShazk
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    I tried that one cupcake and just got "the look"!

    I dont even no why im so bothered by it that's the annoying thing but its really annoyed me lol x MEN!!! lol x

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  5.  
    • Shirleygirly
      CommentAuthorShirleygirly
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      edited
     
    To be honest it would annoy me too, I'm not a stickler for tradition but lots of people have come to your special day, gifts have been given and it's expected for the groom to stand up and make a toast. I can understand him being shy but many grooms are it doesn't have to be a long one

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  6.  
    • OfficialMrsField
      CommentAuthorOfficialMrsField
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    My hubby said he wouldn't do one either, as he hates speaking in public and isn't the soppy type at all...in fact up until the day before the wedding he hadnt anything prepared...but I figured it was his choice and left him to it.

    Anyway, it came to the speeches...and he came out with the most beautiful speech I've ever heard...I was crying, he was crying...bless.

    When I spoke to him later on, he said he was so nervous, but the night before his dad and best man had asked him to be honest avoid how he felt and tell them...so he did...they helped him write it down...and that was that.

    My guess is..if your man is anything like mine..he'll do the right thing in the end.x

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  7.  
    • LegoWife
      CommentAuthorLegoWife
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    H2B and I are some of the shyest people on the planet but we're both still saying a short thank you. To not even thank your own guests for coming is a bit rude I think. I'd be upset if h2b refused to do one.

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  8.  
    • OfficialMrsField
      CommentAuthorOfficialMrsField
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    *about - not avoid...haha

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  9.  
    • mym72
      CommentAuthormym72
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My husband said he wasn't doing one - and I wasn't bothered really, as his brother (the best man) wasn't doing one either, as he just doesn't do public speaking. My dad wanted to say a few words but I wasn't expecting anything too long. I was just happy for everyone to have a relaxed time and enjoy themselves.

    When it came to the reception though, my husband stood up and gave a fantastic speech - a complete surprise to me. It turns out it'd been planned for weeks but he wanted to surprise me on the day.

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  10.  
    • RaggedyAnne
      CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
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    I would have liked my hubby to do one, but he didnt, he didnt have a best man either so the only one to do a speech was my son, who gave me away......and it was so sweet, and a surprise. I didnt think he would do it and almost cried when he did.
    Yes it was a bit odd that Daniel did the speech and no-one else.....because after he had, people were expecting the next speech....and it did'nt happen....
    But ya know what? it was fine.........its very stressful for them, and I understood completely.
    Yes it would have been lovely to hear him compliment me in front of everyone......but he almost cried when he said his vows....I think that was good enough.

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  11.  
    • MrsWright290912
      CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
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    Everyone's different Sharon and nearer the time he might change his mind. My OH said initially he didnt want to do one and is now on his second speech!

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  12.  
    • x~Hails~x
      CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
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    Neither of us are big talkers to be honest so we are not having ANY speeches AT ALL!

    What we will do is stand up together thank everyone for coming and then give out parents, bridal party and special friends thank you presents and then sit down again lol

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  13.  
    • Shazk
      CommentAuthorShazk
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    Thanks ladies Im glad Im not the only one who has had this worry and fingers crissed he is like ur OH and changes his mind.

    Ill just have to work my charm big time I think and maybe get his mum onto him she always good at that lol xx

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  14.  
    • NEDebz
      CommentAuthorNEDebz
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    I think my OH will probably change his mind but the other way around!! He's very shy, one of the reasons we're getting married abroad is so that there wont be too much fuss. So at the moment he's prepared to do a speech but I think he may well change his mind and not bother. I don't think my Dad will bother either so it'll probably be left to the best 'person' (he's having a female friend).

    4th April 2014 - I get married to my soul mate


  15.  
    • SamanthaG76
      CommentAuthorSamanthaG76
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    I'd be a little annoyed too! I do think though that he'll change his mind nearer the time :-) x

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  16.  
    • millz090
      CommentAuthormillz090
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    why cant you do it instead?

    My h2b wont be doing a speech as he has a stutter and i dont want him nervous all day about it as unfair so we decided he wasn't going too. Instead we will stand up together and thank people for coming. I think your being unfair to be upset with him for not doing a speech when your not prepared to either?!

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  17.  
    • jocelinetex
      CommentAuthorjocelinetex
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    i hope he comes around in the end.
    i've done my speech already, i don't know how becouse i've never done one before but once i got some inspiration i managed it and i think its not bad, i try not to think about reading it infront of everyone becouse i'm so nerves but i really want to do it this time round, last time i didn't and i regretted it x

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  18.  
    • Shazk
      CommentAuthorShazk
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    Millz its not that im not prepared to do one I would happily do one but noone would understand a word I say and I wouldnt stop crying. My wedding day will be emotional anyway as is anyones but sadly I lost my mum 12 years ago so she wont be there (me and her were very close so that going to be hard for me) and currently my dad is fighting the dreaded c so currently although we are fighting it and plan to win there is a worry in my mind so I dont think i would emotionall be able to do it its not that I dont want to at all xx

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  19.  
    • millz090
      CommentAuthormillz090
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    Its alot of pressure for a man to do a speech as everyone looking at them and nervous what to say.... i would leave it for now as it will be too much pressure and mention it nearer the time. He might surprise you and just do something on the day.... my h2b is not planning one due to his stutter but he said he may see how he feels on the day and say something if he is comfortable enough. He lost his mum 20 years ago and already emontinal about our wedding day as she wont be there and his dad is poorly so know where your coming from hence i dont want to pressure him as he struggles to talk anyway let alone when emontinal xxx

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  20.  
    • MrsKisywisy
      CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
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    gary said he wasn't doing one and i was a bit miffed at the start, but was ok with it. the day before the wedding, my aunt told him he HAD to do a speech, so he did. it was a short one, but i'm proud of him for getting up there :D

    i made a speech. it was a long and funny one. pretty much tongue in cheek for a lot of it, but it was fun. i wasfeeling sick during dinner as my dress was too tight, so my dress is undone at the back in my speech photos

    if he doesn't want to do it, don't force him. he might change his mind closer to the day. why don't you do a speech from both of you?

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  21.  
    • CarrieM94
      CommentAuthorCarrieM94
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    My H2B is refusing to do a speach also, although his best man will and I dont think my dad is too keen either. So I dont know what to do about giving the bms gifts etc ! who should give them ? xx
  22.  
    • Shazk
      CommentAuthorShazk
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    Im SOOO glad i am not the only one in this situations although Im hoping he will change his mine i think i will manage a brief thank U to everyone. I had planned to give my thank you'd before as prob going to be jewellery but may give them out instead of a spech x

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  23.  
    • lizzylou
      CommentAuthorlizzylou
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    Not sure how to get him to do it in the end, but i'd say you have to tread carefully. If he's anything like my H2B the more you push him on it the more he'll dig his heels in and not do it. I'd wait a while and bring it up again casually, now he's aware you want him to do it he might think again about it on his own and change his mind.

    Lizzy. x


  24.  
    • NicholaP44
      CommentAuthorNicholaP44
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think u shud just leave him 4 now. I know my OH wontdo 1 either so im not making him. Its both ur wedding day and u both have 2 b happy and comfortable! x

    Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013


  25.  
    • weemindyxx
      CommentAuthorweemindyxx
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    my dad my man and the best man are all brickin the speaches, i do feel sorry for them as i wouldbe nervours aswell but i hope they go through with them as it is tradition, but i will have them before the meal then that way everyone can relax.xx

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  26.  
    • ~feebee~
      CommentAuthor~feebee~
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My husband didn't do a speech nor his dad (my dad is dead) as they were too nervous, friends and family or not. And I would've been the same so the best man did it, and when the gifts were given out my husband got up and gave them out. It worked really well.

    I think you're peed off because your h2b says he cant see the point rather than he's dead nervous and shy etc.

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  27.  
    • RosyF77
      CommentAuthorRosyF77
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think both me and h2b are going to say something...but it will be like a sentence or two at a push x
 

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