Neither of my bridesmaids seem at all interested in the wedding... or in me in general. I'm really regretting my bridesmaid decision but dunno who else I could have picked really... as I have recently moved to York from Kent and barely any of my friends have bothered with me since I moved up. I'm just feeling really low about everything :-(
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorCupCake
Sorry to hear that hun :/ Maybe they see it as a long way off yet and when you get into going to get dresses, shoes etc sorted they might be a bit more enthusiastic? in the mean time give um a kick up the tush!! lol xx
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
Same here, had to literally drag my MOH to the National Wedding show - still certain she only came to shut me up. I reckon she'll get a bit more excited the closer it gets, but at the minute they are all busy getting on with the normal stuff, just little old me banging on about my wedding to you guys - thank god for this site otherwise I would explode!
Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept
Start Weight ~ 08.03.11 *198lbs* Current weight 181lbs
lost 1st 4lbs !!!!
CommentAuthorKaya
My Moh ignores me all the time atm, always got something better to do. I just feel really lonely and stuff generally I think... and I thought our friendship meant more than it does obviously. The only time I've spoken to eitehr of them since I've moved up here is if I've contacted them.
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorfarmerswife2b
awh im sorry your having to go through that. its really not fair. tell them you want a wee bit more support from them or they can bugger off! x
Same here, I moved too and it's taken my MOH 3 mths to finally want to be involved and help look for dresses. I stupidly dropped my other bridesmaids who are my H2b's best friend and her daughter who I've known for 18 mths due to budget cuts. Its a really tough one when you've moved away from your friends. I've decided I'm reinstating the others and sod the cost. I too started to real really low and wonder why I bothered. I think you have to nag at them and be honest or they will loose interest. Luckily I kept sending pics to her and ringing every other day to ask what she thought, them finally she's got on board with it all. Keep plugging away!!!! I moved from Kent then to the midlands and all my mates ditched me. Then I moved from Midlands where my MOH lives she was my best and only mate there which is why she's my bridesmaid, but since moving back down South here I'm away from them all, so it's difficult for us to go looking etc. If they are your true friends they'll want to be involved, so just ask them to be truthfull with you about it, give them the option to be 100% involved or just come and enjoy the day x
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
ah i feel your pain. My moh is more interested in her wedding than mine (nope, she isnt engaged) and forogt to book my hen night off work and the and the other keep changing when she can come for dress fittings and wont come to the hen night cos we were rude enough toi book a wedding on the same day as her friend so she has to go her her hen night then to make up for it.
Gotta love your BMs.
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
I think people who've never had to plan a wedding really don't realise how much work it really is! I mean, I only got engaged at Christmas, and if i'd have been a bridesmaid before that, I probably wouldn't have thought I'd even be required until at least 6 months before, and only then for dresses and hen nights..
Now, having had to look into it, it's all so overwhelming! So much to do and organise!
CommentAuthorTinsel
I agree DrunchPunk. I have been a bridesmaid twice, although only once as an adult and I do NOTHING to help as I didn't know I had to (and I lived 200 miles away)! And I now feel very guilty as the friend I was BM for is going to be my BM.
I try to make sure all our conversations focus on them first and last and then squeeze wedding talk in between (and usually wait for them to mention it first) as it isn't their priority, although it is all I think about lol! :o)
07.04.12 - the best day of my life!
Living happily ever after as Mrs Nottage x
CommentAuthorP3nelope
See I feel really lucky now as mine have all been lovely :) Only issue we have had is 2 have big boobs so dresses will be a problem but I have no intention of getting them what they wont feel comfortable in. I have been a bridesmaid 6 times now and all but 1 bride have been lovely.
CommentAuthornewmrshartley
dreading actually starting needing to rely on mine - though i am such a control freak i dont really see me leaning on them - hoping my moh will sort that out though! the only really enthusiastic bm is moving to america in may so then i will be buggered! my sister wont be bothered really i can see it now, nor will h2b's two sisters. one is just starting uni so will have no time for anything and the other is just approaching her teen years so that will be fun! also they live away in scarborough and MIL wont let them do anything without her presiding so will struggle a bit i think! i know how you mean though about feeling alone, no one else is interested really, so without you guys i would have to bottle it all up inside! i am always excited about other people's weddings though, so if you need a cheerleader give me a shout! hudds aint that far from york, so if you need a buddy for fairs, i'm your gal! x x
CommentAuthorjo
its shocking how many of us seem to feel this way! my maid of honour is useless and doesnt even answer her phone if i call, i never used to think i was to bad off for friends but since getting engaged? well, now i dont know who to turn too for anything and choosing bm's has been a nightmare! i just dont have any friends who are reliable or dependable or that im close too. luckily my mum came to the wedding fair with me but she cant do everything with me she works and has her own life too!
CommentAuthornewmrshartley
awww. well sucks! probs is no one is ever as interested in the wedding as the bride :) you need another bride to go with :)
CommentAuthorHoxxyhula
One of my BMs keeps pestering me for things to do because she feels that she is not doing enough and I'm not getting married until next June! Bless her. I think it's because she's also BM for a mutual friend who is a bit more, shall we say.. exacting, in her demands. Maybe I should start hiring her out?!! Any takers?
CommentAuthorcatch
edited
both my daughters and my partners daughters are bridesmaids quite by accident! l picked my friend elizabeth to be my maid of honour as my daughter had just been bridesmaid to my sister in the oct 2009 she had said she would like to be a guest for mine, so haveing picked my friend and my partners youngest daughter as we where about to set out shopping for dresses amanda piped up ''what colour are you putting me in mum'' l wanted to choke her!! as l have now ended up with five bridesmaids my two daughters my partners two daughters and my friend l didn't have the heart to remind her what she said then couldn't leave out our two oldest girls lol it's all turning out fine they have made the favour boxes and love there dresses and shoes so l can't complain, it will all come together for you too x
CommentAuthorDiana89
Hun that's awful, I seem to have slowly fallen out of touch with most of my female friends so when I got engaged it was going to be my sister and my only two female friends I saw regularly one of whom I live with and has been my best mate for nearly ten years and her little sis who was born the month after my nephew was going to be flower girl, she now isn't talking to me and so isn't going to be bm and wont let her sis be my flower girl, my other friend is trying to join the army so doesnt know if she'll even be able to make it and my sister is planning on (though hopefully wont go through with it) moving to new zealand in january and though she will definately be at the wedding she wont be able to be there with me. My mum isn't the type of person who wants to come to wedding fairs, dress shopping etc and I am terrified of being alone with MIL2B (she's lovely but she sscares me lol) so I will be pretty isolated too. Hope you manage to sort things out hun
CommentAuthormrsr2b
gosh, hope u manage to sort everything out.... so far my bms have all been pretty good, have plenty of time for that too change tho!!!
fingers crossed huni xx
CommentAuthorEmma
Blimey!
Well now, my sister who will be my MOH is gonna do my head in but in such a lovely way I'll forgive her lol! I love her to bits but she lives in Bedford and I live in Chelmsford, around 50-60 miles away! She's a deputy manager for Toby and her boss is a git lol who won't be allowing her much time off for anything!
I have said to her that I want her to look for a prom style slinky dress that she will feel comfy in and that I'll let her know what colour its gotta be when I've worked that out lol.
My other bridesmaid is David's niece and I love her enthusiasm. She's the bestest lil girl ever and apparently I'm gonna have a pink fairy dress with a tiara and a pink rose lmao. I hate pink lol! We'll have a great time dress shopping tho cos other than the pink obsession, she's got a great eye for detail.
She'll be just 10 when we get married and she'll be so cute. She looked lovely for her Nan's wedding (David's Mum) in a dress her great Nan had made. I didn't like the style tho lol cos it made her look even chubbier than she is already lol. That sounds awful but Im sure you know what I mean! Also, she has to match my sister and I doubt her great Nan could come up with something that good! My sister is a bit of a fashionista lol!
CommentAuthorCarlyroo
i thought my sister was gonna be a pain, but actually its turned out to be the other bm!!!!!i have one aged 21 and a size 6, and one who is 15 and a size 16, and when the younger one found a dress she liked she refused to try any more on, and wouldnt try the same dress on in a different material, and at one point i thought my mum was going to smack her!!!!!!!my sister ended up capitulating, because she looks good in anything, but then my mum had a massive go at me for being selfish and not thinking about how my sister felt not being able to wear the dress she wanted-the only reason she couldnt is because my mum refused to buy two different dresses!!!!!! grrrr, so the moral of this story is.....
ladies, do not take your mother bridesmaid dress shopping unless she is totally in sync thought wise!!!!!!!!!!
CommentAuthorcharliemeg
i can feel for ya hun, i have my best friend and my sister and neither of them really seem bothered. I see less of my best friend now than before and she has just got engaged herself and is all wrapped up in that which i can understand. She is prob years off actually setting a date as her h2b doesnt really beleive in marriage. I dunno maybe im being selfish but with only 2 months to go im starting to get nervous about everything and really could do with my bestie being around
CommentAuthorPossum
Oh no :( My bm is so into it, even more than I am (almost). I think you should talk to them and ask if they're still interested, and if they are, could they help. If not, then get new bridesmaids. Hugs xx
CommentAuthorBecky
Think my MoH and BM are not bothered at the minute cos its such a long time away. I feel certain they are only humouring me when I mention that I've seen this or ask what they think about that. Mind you they are very interested when it comes to theor dresses! Apparently they will not wear that colour, will not wear this style and so on...... lol xx
CommentAuthorKizzy81
I think most bridesmaids are a pain! My MOH is my sister, who got married 2 years ago and she's just like Denise from the Royal Family. Everything is sooo hard now she has a child (he's 2 and a half!) and I just don't understand how difficult it is...
One of my bridesmaids is H2B's 16 year old sister who doesn't really want to be a bridesmaid and is really just looking forward to the free hooch (do they even do that these days?!?).
Finally my favourite bridesmaid and best mate is expecting her 2nd child at the mo. Not her fault, but made it nearly impossible to sort out bridesmaids outfits!!! She's due in 2 months, and we're married in 6 months!
We're all in the same boat - WHY DON'T THEY REALISE, IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM - IT'S ABOUT US!!!
CommentAuthorLaura
I know exactly how you feel, I had originally chose 2 bridesmaids who accepted the offer and said they were over the moon about it however they just don't pay any interest what-so-ever! I know I have a long time to plan but we are on a tight budget so that is why we have started planning early. I just thought friends were suppose to be there for you when you need them but obviously they don't think like me. I have actually seen less of them since I asked them than before I told them I was getting married? Thankfully I have a great maid of honor and we talk near enough everyday about wedding plans, lol. I am really starting to regret my decision about my bridesmaids but feel I cannot let them down now. My mum cannot stand the fact the one of them is just not making any effort at all not only as a bridesmaid but as a friend and she thinks I should make an excuse as to why I have to let her down! It's just all so stressful :(
