Wedding Forum - Toning it down second time around? **...

Are you having a toned down wedding, compared to the first time, just because of what people might say, or actually the way YOU feel about things?

I am not wearing white. Not because of what people would say or think, but I myself wouldnt feel comfortable. I wore white first time and for ME, its not right.
I am not having big posh cars.....I already had that and this time its just family lifts.....but its what we want because I think you can go overboard, and it can look farcicle. (its also saving us shed loads of money)

the cake....I am making my own and think its only gonna be 2 tier.

I think what I am doing sub-conciously too is, whatever I had first time around I am purposely having something different this time.
I ALMOST bought the most gorgeous lace wedding dress until I remembered that my first one was lace too.

Its not all about being different, its not all about what other people might think of us, but second time around.....for ME anyway....is making me want different things, taking into account the fact it is 2nd time around.....(and my age too).
the first time around I saw something I liked and got it without hesitation, but this time I am taking my time and really thinking hard about things before I commit to anything. Am I the only one that does this or is it normal? LOL

I'm not saying that we should have a lesser wedding, its still a very important day, but I'm just saying that for me, ...I have looked at things and Ummed and Arrred and then said ''no I wont bother.... it is my 2nd time after all, I dont want to go over the top''

You just reminded me, yes I think some things I have done this time are toned down, but yet they are definately better. first time around we also had a family friend do the pictures, and they were crap! so this time I went with a proper wedding photographer; first time around we had a buffet in a room above a pub, this time its a 3 course meal at a lovely hotel. yes I wore a white dress with train and a veil etc, but this time I think my dress is more classy .....and so I think that without trying to sound like a snob..... the wedding IS toned down, yet this wedding is more sophisticated and stylish and is costing as much for my 24 guests as my first wedding cost for 100+.

i had a white dress too bought from laura ashley ... it was very plain and simple my mother then decided that it ought to have satin ribbon sewn round every hem ( it has a layered frilled top ) and little flowers put on !!!

This is my first time getting married, but I can say now that, if replanning, I'd probably go for something that wasnt so much toned down, but exactly what I wanted. Why shouldnt you have exactly what you want, whether it be bigger or smaller... it's still a celebration of marriage whether its first of fifth time round. I understand what you mean though, I think even now, not even married yet, if I was planning again I'd go for something far more intimate... mine seems to have gotten out of control x

The first time I got married was a huge family affair, the big church wedding, lots of guests (over 250) etc etc but I have sooooo many regrets from it that I am determined to put right this time! Think the whole thing cost £2k

This time I'm not allowed to get married in a church :-( (h2b's 1st time and he wanted to but our vicar doesnt believe in that) so we are having it all in one place and I'm only having the min numbers required! (60 day, 100 evening)
My dress will be either ivory or a deep red (not decided yet) and this time it WILL fit perfectly!
I've got a professional photographer as last time it was a family friend and although I got 500+ photo's because he was drinking ALL day his hand was shaking and I hated them.
Me and h2b went to a car show and saw "our wedding car" a few months after we met so we are having that for the day and we are having a trio to play us in.

And the big one h2b won't be drinking so he doesnt walk into any doors like my ex did lol

So yes this time I am having a smaller version from last time in terms of guests but things will be better in terms of quality I suppose andthat we will get what WE want not our parents as they paid last time!
I actually think this time round things will be far more elabrote because of the little things we are having

This is my 2nd time around, im 40 tomorrow i marry at the end of march and im so excited, 2nd time around ive planned it my way (not parents) im wearing a beautiful ivory dress, this wedding knocks spots off my 1st attempt, im older, wiser and more confident and financially comfortable,so for me this time will be the best for me.xxx

I would also have everything different if i was to marry again x

This is first (and only!) time for me but will be h2b's second wedding. Even though we aren't having a huge wedding he wants it to be bigger and better planned than his first time which was organised in less than three months, had only 20 guests and didn't even have his mum at! He is insisting that everything is different and much better planned with things exactly as we want it xx

My 2nd marriage last year couldn't have been more different than my first. I had the big church do first time round, I was not really that involved in decorating the tables the venue or anything. I had a bog standard 2 tier cake, and didn't enjoy the tradtions, top table, stress of trying to have everything I thought I SHOULD have! I invited people I didn't like, family I hardly saw from one year to the next, because I thought that was the done thing. My marriage lasted 8 weeks!!!! my husband had an affair with a girl 18 years his junior and it all felt horrible and a waste of time.

Last year I had my perfect day when I got the wedding I created from scratch. I did EVERTHING myself I even made my cake!
I invited lots of our friends who we both love, missed out family that I don't see, and spent a blissful year organising our day!
The sun shone, everyone who we cared about was there, and I loved every second.

I was very aware that I was doing everything different, I wanted NOTHING the same, I even wore a blush pink dress and had no top table, no tradition, I just wanted us all to have a true celebration of our marriage with a party, good food and lots of happy people.... and do you know what I had that x 100!
We paid for the wedding ourselves, my parents helped a bit, but didn't stipulate what we did with the money, so we felt free to do as we pleased and we did. I guess being older (42) I felt more confident about doing things my way ...... thats what made it feel so right, i no regrets about one single thing.
I think you have an advantage doing it second time round because you learn your lessons the first time, and avoid them the next! lol like choosing the wrong man!!!!

Thank you Madhen x

Three cheers for us 2nd time rounders..hip hip..:D

I am having a toned down wedding, because it's what I want. I am having an ivory or burgundy dress, and I will be choosing it myself, not going on the advice of my mum. I am having the venue I want this time round instead of what was expected of me, I will be writing my own vows, because I can :) I am inviting who I want come to the wedding and not who I am expected to invite. My second wedding is very toned down infact...only 14 guests. I have a very large family and as much as I love them all and get on with them all, I don't want a large wedding and we are getting married away in Scotland, so it's not practical to have 2 large families attending. We are not having a big evening do, just a reception meal. I am so much more relaxed about this wedding than I was with my 1st. This wedding is my H2B's and mine, not our families, just the way I want it :)