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Wedding Forum - Work colleague dilemma...

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  1.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I really don't know what to do for the best.

    When I first got engaged I told my department at work (I work for Mr Lewis) that I would only be able to invite them as evening guests due to limited numbers this was back in September 2013.

    However since that time in my department team I've become really close to 2 of them. There are 11 of us in total. The 2 in question came with me to try wedding dresses the first time I went. I really would like to have them on the reserve list should any of our family/friends that are day guests say they cant attend, also my wedding falls on there contracted day off(it's also the ones birthday on my wedding )

    However I'm worried that if I should do this I'm going to alienate the rest of my department, even though they won't be able to get the day off work anyway.

    Has anyone else faced this dilemma. I just really don't know what to do x
  2.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I had some close friends at uni who I would have love to invite. Instead to start with I invited just the group from the IOW I travelled with and one other friend who I went to college with but she had to move to the mainland. I felt guilty as I was not even having an evening do as such to invite them to as it was all one do. Fortunately for me, hubby's Aunt and Uncle dropped out so I had them in reserve.

    Keep them as reserve if they are that close with you now, everyone else will have to understand it. At my work place I invited one person as I've always got on with her and she was so helpful, but also my hubby met her at a friends wedding and they hit it off along with her hubby. I just thought sod it, I don't care.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  3.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    Would the rest of the department not realise that you are closer to these specific people? I don't think they would mind if they knew you were closer to them than the rest of them x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  4.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I think the others at work would see that i am closer to them as I jokingly call the one of them my comfort blanket. They were both there for me more than the others last year too when I had the year from hell. I just hate thinking people will think im not being fair and don't want to cause unnecessary aggro. x
  5.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    If others can see how close a relationship you have with some, then I would like to think they would be grown up enough to understand why you would want them all day.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  6.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I say invite them. There are always people you are closer to at work. We chose 2 of OH's colleagues to invite all day and the rest (about 8 or so) just to the evening. If anyone complains about it they are just showinng you why they aren't worthy enough to be a guest all day. It's got nothing to do with anyone else :)

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  7.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    Thanks everyone, I would love to invite them all but that isnt an option and they all couldnt come as they need staff at work. I dont currently have a space for them but i know some of our invited guests will most likely be unable to attend. x
  8.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I agree, I'm sure people would understand. We all have people who we are closer too.




  9.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I think i need to toughen up a bit im too much of a people pleaser always try to make everyone happy even if that means im not happy. x
  10.  
    • GemmaS8204
      CommentAuthorGemmaS8204
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I had the same dilemma, obviously I talk about my wedding at work and like yourself didn't want to upset anyone, I'm only inviting the girls from work as we're like a little family but have had to say no partners to daytime as can't afford it as have big families. When I mentioned it they were fine with it, If you want to invite the 2 to the day I would as it's who you want there, it's not like you aren't inviting the others, they are invited but just to the evening.... Sorry for the essay xx
  11.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    It's lovely to hear all your opinions. It's nice to know how other people view things x
  12.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I'm inviting one colleague and her partner all day to our wedding, she is my friend outside work and we do things with the kids and she is coming on my hen weekend, if my other colleagues complain about it the can do one, she isn't just a work colleague she's my friend.

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  13.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    That's very true! I'm just a born worrier x
  14.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
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    I will have one colleague for the whole day... but she really is more of a friend then a colleague (well actually two, as they're a couple) but I'd say I was friends with them both... plus they're teachers I'm an LSA :P so I really don't see it as I work with them, even though I do.

    My other colleague's are having evening invites. If people drop out last minute then I probably would bump a couple of my colleague's up... we do things out of work together as work friends and they are my rocks at work.




  15.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 27th 2015
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    Yah it's not that I don't want to invite them all its just not possible with numbers x
  16.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 27th 2015
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    i invited my dept to the evening do then when i had guests drop out 3 days before i asked two that i was particularly close to if they would like to come to the day , tbh im not bothered if anyone was miffed ... they were the ones who always cared about me so they were the ones that got invited to MY WEDDING

  17.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 27th 2015
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    Yeah, I think its clear to everyone that im closer to the two id like to invite. The one is even doing a sweet table for me on his birthday x
 
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