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Wedding Forum - Who to choose as bridesmaids...

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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorLoz K
      Posted: Jan 9th 2016
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    Hi ladies,

    I'd be grateful for your opinion on this. I have a sister and two brothers. I've been bridesmaid for my sister and one of my brothers. My other brother is engaged but I don't know whether I'd be asked to be bridesmaid for them too. My dilemma is that I would prefer to only have my MOH (who is my closest friend) as bridesmaid, but I feel slightly obligated to have at least my sister as a bridesmaid too. But then if I have my sister should I also have my sisters in law - which including my OH'S sister in law would take me up to 5 bridesmaids!

    Would you feel obligated to have any family members as bridesmaids, or would you stick to your guns and just have the one bridesmaid? I know that people say you don't expect to be a bridesmaid just because you're family/asked the bride to be to be your bridesmaid, but I feel like I should ask my sister but then if I ask her I have to have all of them!

    Thanks ladies!
  2.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 9th 2016
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    Never feel obligated to have anyone as bridesmaid. Have who you want. Had my sister as MOH and I was hers but we're really really close to each other. I had my best mate too as bridesmaid as I really wanted her to be one. I absolutely never felt obligated to have SIL as a bridesmaid so she wasn't one but did have her LO as flower girl because I thought she'd be cute.

    Being bridesmaid is an honour and so have who you really want and also think about if you can afford more.

    I don't know whether you are close or not to your sister. Could she have another important role if she's not bridesmaid? Like do a reading and be a witness?

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  3.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 9th 2016
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    If you only want your friend that is fine. They shouldn't feel that they should be bridesmaid just because you were for them. Relationships do change so even if you were close them you may not be now. Don't be forced into something you don't want especially if you can't afford it.
    As IDL says maybe if you want to get the others involved as a witness or to do a reading etc that may help.
    You need to talk to them before you know how they'll feel really.
  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 9th 2016
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    I don't think you would need to have your sister in laws as well, your brother obviously wanted you to be one, so either just go with your MOH or MOH and your sister.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 9th 2016
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    I was bridesmaid for both of my brothers', but didn't ask either of their wives to be bridesmaid. I had my husband's sister which I felt was the right gesture, especially as she has severe cerebral palsy. My other bridesmaids were friends, I have no sisters. I would certainly say you don't need to ask your SILs, although if I was you I probably would ask my sister.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  6.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 9th 2016
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    Just at have who you want. People should be honoured to be asked. They should never expect it x

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  7.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 10th 2016
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    Its possible that your brother wanted you involved in his day so they had you as a bridesmaid which could mean you don't have to have SIL and have your brother as an usher (if this hasn't been decided on yet).
    So I agree with GF, either have just your MOH or her and your sister.

    Would your OH want you to involve his sister though? As it is his day too, and would be similar to when you were a bridesmaid at your brothers wedding. X
  8.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 10th 2016
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    If your OH wants his sister involved somehow I'd also say maybe another special role can be given to her rather than be a bridesmaid.

    Being bridesmaid means you are so close to the bride and she wants you there by her side to do things she only trusts her absolute most dearest girls on.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  9.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 10th 2016
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    I was a bridesmaid at two weddings for two of my cousins, I didn't ask either to be anymore than guests at my wedding x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  10.  
    • DanielleS0709
      CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 10th 2016
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    I don't see why you would feel obliged to have your sister in laws of you have your sister? I'm having my 3 sisters. OH has one sister and I'm really close to her but if I were to have her that would be way too many bridesmaids

    Members signature icon
    21st May 2016 xxx


  11.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 10th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I chose not to have any bridesmaids, I just didn't want any. I think if I wanted them though, I wouldn't have felt any obligation to pick any specific people, just who I wanted.
  12.  
    • CommentAuthorLoz K
      Posted: Jan 10th 2016
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    Thanks all. OH has a SIL so it would be no different from having my SIL's, but I think I should ask my sister at the very least. 2 bridesmaids is a number I can live with!
 
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