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    • StephanieS572
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 23rd 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    I am newly married and still in shell shock from the actions of my so called friends who were my bridesmaids. Am i over reacting or should i cut my losses and walk away from them both??

    lies, back stabbing, drunkenness, and inappropriate behaviour!!! such a blow :'(

    I recently got married on August 5th and whilst the day should have been the happiest day of my life it has been over shadowed by the actions of two of my bridesmaids. I had 3 bridesmaids in all, my best friend and two other friends who were sisters and one of their daughters was my flower girl.

    on the run up to the wedding about 8 weeks before i started to have issues with the sisters C & L regarding accommodation and attires. I had already paid for shoes, dresses, jewelry, hair pieces, shawls, makeup and hair. yet they wanted me to pay for their dress alterations (£20 each) and other shoes as they had changed their mind on what they wanted to wear. the shoes they wanted were £50 each which i refused and said if they wanted them then they had to pay for them themselves. L said she couldn't afford a room the night before so wouldn't be there early in the morning which would throw my plans out so she had to stay with me as i could not afford paying my £160 for two nights and £40 for her. They also wanted a second dress to wear for the evening so i told them if you want to change then change into something after the photos and it's of your own choosing from what you already own.

    on my hen do i found my head bridesmaid wasn't acting herself, when asked why the other two had taken her to a side and given her a dressing down alongside some horrible messages she had sent to her beforehand. she didn't tell me until the evening as she didn't want it to upset my day. i was fuming but she said to leave it as she wouldn't need to speak to them again as the next day was the eve of my wedding. Sister L was doing everyone's nails and eyebrows and overcharged everyone from the prices she told me it would be. my head bridesmaid K was going to pay for my nails which i was told would be £21 but L had other plans as she said they were £33 as she required a £12 tip. yet another game being played but i refused K paying for my nails and gave L the £21 myself as it was rude especially when L was having to share my bridal suite and originally said she'd do my nails for free as a gift anyway.

    on the evening before my wedding at the hotel c & l never spoke to k only sent glares across the room which were picked up by family members of mine who made comment to them ie if looks could kill etc. i went back to my room to sleep but unfortunately had to wake up k at 130am to share her room instead as l was snoring so loud in my room and sleep talking i couldn't sleep. I woke everyone up so they would be on time for their hairs and makeup being done in my room but as i was checking on my dad who is ill C went back to bed making me 25 mins late getting my dress on. this meant i had no photos with family done at the hotel before my wedding and i had to rush to get to the registry office on time. the official was waiting outside for me when i arrived i was so flustered. C and L didn't seem concerned as they never came to ask if i needed any help doing anything all morning and had the hairdresser style their hair differently than asked.

    i thought all my hiccups were over as did K as i got married and hoped to have a wonderful reception unfortunately C had other ideas. as the day progressed so did her drinking and her unwanted behaviour. telling guests they weren't good enough for each other, flashing her underware, stealing drinks from tables, spouting lies then the grand finalie
    i was mortified, she wouldn't move out of the room as she said her hip had popped so an ambulance had to be called for her. the full mood of the event took a nose dive. my mother was gutted as after 14 years waiting for my wedding day she was in pieces as she couldn't make this right. what mother wants to spend her daughters wedding with the ambulance crew and the hotels officials filling in the accident reports??

    since then my husband has said to forget it as he enjoyed the day and she only embarrassed herself but its too upsetting as she doesn't think she's done anything wrong and she was supposed to be my friend and hasn't apoligised. i have since deleted her off facebook as she is still drinking but her sister L keeps saying i should go and apoligise to her as i'm in the wrong?!?

    what do i do i have lost two people that i thought were friends. am i in the wrong for thinking friends don't act like this? is it wrong for me to think i wish i could go back in time to never ask them to be my bridesmaids as they will always be on my photos and in the shadows
    • Glitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 23rd 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    I can fully understand why you are feeling like you are, it's not on for them to act the way they did, and I seriously hope that now they are feeling very sorry for themselves over it. Like your hubby said, it's only herself she embarrassed, yet it's put an imprint on your day.

    I'd not include them in anything now, be civil for civil sake but that's as far as it goes.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012

    • StephanieS572
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 24th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    thank you glitterfairy. I just feel a bit lost as C sent me a message on facebook the day after the wedding saying 'oops got a bit drunk nevermind will learn for your next wedding. i'm on crutches and in loads of pain doctors have said ive bruised my hip and need lots of rest in bed for a few weeks poor me'
    Erm next wedding thanks for the vote of confidence, no sorry and a complete lie as i was told by four friends she was running around with her kids, dogs and family members in the park hours after writing this with no crutches, limp, nothing.
    I feel hurt and i have tried to cut my loses but i think it's hard for my husband as he and C's husband go back over 15 years whereas me and C only go back 5 since she started dating her now hubby of 2 years. I have no problem with her hubby it's her she makes me want to cry everytime i think back to my wedding day
    • StaceyH989
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Oct 24th 2017
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
    Oh Stephanie, I'm so sorry to read this. Their behavior is nothing but appalling and they should be grovelling on their hands and knees especially C there is absolutely no excuse for what she has done to you and the memories of your wedding. I agree with GF civil for civil's sake but that's as far as it goes.
    • LaurenK103
      Posted: Oct 24th 2017
    Stephanie this is awful to read!

    I don't think you can call someone that has no remorse for her actions a friend. It sounds to me like their behaviour started because of jealousy. Especially with the maid of honor.

    Unfortunately you cannot go back and change their actions and relive your wedding day, however, you will forever hate your wedding day if you keep replaying what she did. You need to look back at the happy moments of saying I do etc with your new husband, remember the speeches, the first dance, cutting the cake etc and look back at photographs - you will hopefully feel better about it.

    As for being friends with them again - I wouldn't waste your time. A true friend would never do that. x

    Boyfriend - 7th February 2010
    Fiancé - 31st January 2015
    Husband - 7th February 2020
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