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Wedding Forum - Who is paying for bridesmaid dresses?...

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  1.  
    • AimeeB827
      CommentAuthorAimeeB827
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We've recently started planning our wedding, I have got 3 bridesmaids and then our daughter as well. Was just wondering who pays for the bridesmaid dresses? Is the bride obligated or is it okay to ask them to buy their own?

    As a side note, my sister has already offered to pay for hers.

    Thanks in advance for the advice ladies!
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Lots of people ask their bridesmaids to pay for dresses now, so if you want to do that then I don't think it would be completely wrong of you to do so, but I do think that because you asked them to be your bridesmaids, you should be prepared to soak up some of the costs. I bought all my bridesmaids dresses and their accessories, but I have asked them to pay for their own shoes.

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
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    I bought our bridesmaids dresses but have asked them to buy their own shoes. It would be completely fine if you were to ask them to pay for their own as I do think some expect to anyway, my MOH, SIL and sister all expected to pay for there's as they were shocked when I said I would. If you are going to ask them though I would let them know as soon as possible just in case they will need to save up.

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  4.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
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    Generally if you ask people to be bridesmaids you should be prepared to pay for their outfits, unless you're up front with them from the start and say you'd like6themto be but you cant afford their dresses.

    Also if you're expecting them to have a particular style and colour and hairstyle you should be prepared to pay as they are unlikely to wear the dress again.

    I paid for both bridesmaid dresses and flower girl dress. I also paid for the bridesmaids hair and makeup because I chose the style and look. However they provided their own shoes as I wanted them to be comfortable so wasn't bothered about matching, same with jewellery, they wore their own.

    The other thing to consider is whether they can all afford their outfits.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  5.  
    • FayeJ67
      CommentAuthorFayeJ67
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    If you ask them to pay for the dress generaly you need to give them the choice of dress provided it matches your colour scheme (though if your colour scheme is lime green or orange expect some argument from any blondes in the group!).

    If you want a specific dress and colour then you realy do need to pay for it yourself.

    I want a specific dress in a specific colour so I am paying for my bridesmaids dresses however I have asked them just to buy a pair of silver shoes (preferably sparkley) that they are comfy in.

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  6.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
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    I agree with the others, if you ask them to buy it and they cannot afford it they may say they cannot be bridesmaid any longer.
    Also they will want more say in their dress.

    if you want them to wear a specific dress then you should pay in my opinion.

    My sister has offered to buy her dress (only bridesmaid I have) to help us out with costs but still wants me to pick the dress. so a slightly different scenario. May be this is what your sister is thinking too.

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    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  7.  
    • KatieH
      CommentAuthorKatieH
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
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    I've paid for my bridesmaids dresses but have asked them to buy their own shoes.

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    Met in 2007
    Started dating in 2009
    Got engaged in 2014
    Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
  8.  
    • Mrs Jones
      CommentAuthorMrs Jones
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
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    We're paying for our bridesmaid and flower girl dresses - well my Mum has stumped up the cash, but I've only got one bridesmaid - my sister, and OHs sister is insisting she will pay for her daughter's flower girl dress.

    Generally though I would expect the bridal party to pay - it's no different to paying for the hire of the grooms party wear.

    Members signature icon
    First Date 26 April 2014
    Proposed 27 June 2015
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  9.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 11th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would expect to pay for BM dresses (if I had any which I don't). I am being BM for my dad in November, and in all honesty I would expect it to be paid for (without sounding horrible).
    I know some people nowadays do ask BMs to pay but I think you need to tell them at the time so they know they will have to save up for a dress.
  10.  
    • LornaB75
      CommentAuthorLornaB75
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 13th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i don't see anything wrong with asking but be prepared for them to say no, not everybody can afford it. I bought the bridesmaid dresses. I did ask for them to buy their own but they wouldn't, im not complaining because at the end of the day its my wedding and I chose them to be bridesmaid they didn't ask me if they could. they are, however, buying their own shoes & jewellery x
  11.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 15th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We were prepared to pay for Half Sister's bridesmaid dress and Niece's flower girl dress, and had budgeted for both, but my Dad said he would pay for the bridesmaid dress and my Sister said she would pay for the flower girl dress and neither would take no for an answer :o/ I paid for their hair to be done instead
  12.  
    • AimeeB827
      CommentAuthorAimeeB827
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 16th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks for the advice ladies! Have decided I will get dresses and ask them to get shoes/accessories. I'm a hairdresser so all our hair etc is being done for nothing so can't ask them to pay for anything there. Was helpful to get all your opinions though :) xx
  13.  
    • VikkiH53
      CommentAuthorVikkiH53
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I don't think there is a particular "right" way. I've known many a bride to ask for the bridesmaids to pay at least something towards the dresses.

    Myself and H2B have agreed that as we want them as part of our day in a certain outfit that we will pay for their dresses and shoes though.
  14.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2016
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    I just assumed that if you are asking someone to be your bm you pay for it all, which we are doing. I have been BM twice before and I have never paid a penny for anything. I think its up to you and your situation though :) x

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  15.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2016
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    PS Aimee we are wedding twins :)

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


 
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