Wedding Forum - Where to start and cost...

Picturesque Grounds

A photographer's pleasure, stunning gardens with plenty of unique photo opportunities; from the rhododendrons and woodland to the Temple of Atalanta.

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✆ 01526 352411

Andy Silvester Photography Ltd

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Dunstall Barn Wedding and Events Venue

Here's a Top Wedding Tip from Dunstall Barn Wedding and Events Venue

"Talk to both the registrar and our venue before booking the date to make sure both are free" - Dunstall Barn Wedding and Events Venue - Can offer indoor and outdoor civil ceremonies - Inhouse catering offering bespoke menus

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✆ 07964294912

EventExquisite Ltd

Here's a Top Wedding Tip from EventExquisite Ltd

"Don't stress, everything will come together" - EventExquisite Ltd - Decor provided for any occasion from weddings,birthday,christening,charity and corporate events

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✆ 07508174526

The Renaissance at Kelham Hall

Renaissance at Kelham Hall

Set within 42 acres of landscaped gardens and parkland, The Renaissance at Kelham Hall remains an impressive landmark on the Trent Valley. Get in contact to discuss your dream wedding day!

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✆ 01636 390 500

kokoshka makeup

Here's a Top Wedding Tip from kokoshka makeup

"Have a makeup trial. If you planning any eye lash extensions, fake tan etc - have a test run. Avoid any facial treatments before the wedding eyebrow waxing - 1 week before, facials - 3 weeks before." - kokoshka makeup - From natural, delicate, glowy bri

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UKbride Supermarket

Romantica Classic Studio 80 - Wedding Album
Brand: Heritage Photo Albums
Colour: White
Potential Buyer: For Everyone
Price Description: Honest Price
Style: Traditional
Seller: Heritage Photo Albums
PriceView Item: £33.29

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Help: Where to start and cost

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- CommentAuthorFionaW773
Hi all. My partner and I have been engaged since Feb 2016 I proposed lol. I've brought up setting a date before and he keeps saying we'll see which is a bit disheartening as can't wait to get married. It's only been in the last couple of weeks that I've started looking into venues and dates by myself. The issue is I know I need to say to him but I'm worried he's going to put it off again. I just don't know where to start with planning and how to go about keeping the cost down as on a tight budget.

Thank you all
- CommentAuthorVerityC21
I hate to be the first to reply with what I'm about to say... but if I were in your position, I'd be wondering whether he actually wants to get married? You say that he's "put if off" before - are there any really good reasons to put it off?
- CommentAuthorFionaW773
  
  edited
I do love him very much but sometimes I think that too does he want to marry me. In 2016 and 2017 we had our two children so I understand that we couldn't do it. But now it's like we don't have the money or mainly we'll see. Sorry for the long post and rant just feel like a bit sad by it all when it should be a magical time. Thank you so much
- CommentAuthorVerityC21
I really feel for you! As much as it's going to be a difficult conversation, it is one you need to have with him - does he want to get married to you? You might find that he does want to marry you but he's worried that you'll want a huge wedding that: a) you haven't got the money to spend on; and b) he really doesn't want a big wedding.

I think you need to find time to have this discussion somewhere that he can't just ignore or run away from it. Once it's had, then you will have more of an idea of how to move forward.

I wish you luck x
- CommentAuthorFionaW773
Thank you so much. Had a conversation with him about it all and he does want to get married yayy. He is a bit concerned about the cost but we'll try and keep the cost down as much as we can. He's leaving a lot of the planning down to me which I dont overly mind. He says pick a date and he'll be there. From earlier messages was thinking of Feb 2022 but going to change it to July 2022 to give us those extra couple of months xx

- CommentAuthorVerityC21
That's great news - have fun planning!!
- CommentAuthorFionaW773
Thank you so much. Sorry can I ask your advice again. Am I being unreasonable or stubborn. Sat down last night with partner and talked wedding ideas managed to get a budget for the whole thing for roughly 6000. The issue is that all of a sudden he doesn't want to do a whole big day he just wants to get married in registrar and go for family meal and come home at the end of the night. He's so worried about money and I understand it all adds up I'd even suggested doing 2023. My heart is broke cause he says we either do it his way or not at all. Am I being unreasonable. Thank you so much sorry for the long post
- CommentAuthorC.C.
Hey no you are not being unreasonable at all. I think 6k is a very VERY reasonable budget, you want a wedding. Have one. He needs to learn that kids do not bar your dreams 24/7 if you must pinch a bit for 2023 WHY NOT!

Also I can probably set up a spreadsheet for you the way I have done for my 3 year projected savings.
I would just need a rough estimate of monthly make and where it goes. If you save up the 6k for the next few years, he cannot say no.
If there were a trip he wanted badly, and you didn't absolutely adore he should foot the bill more, does that make sense?
Most things being split financially based on percentile and not half and half.
IF one person makes more they should foot the bill more. Not having your spouse stressed benefits you more than an extra hundred or few hundred in your account.
- CommentAuthorVerityC21
£6000 is a lot cheaper than 80% of weddings in the UK, I reckon!

It sounds like there's a real issue for him somewhere, and you won't get anywhere until he is completely honest about what the problem is and why. Until he admits why, planning anything will be difficult, sadly :(
- CommentAuthorLuluM22
Fiona
This is a similar situation but it’s not a lost cause!!! You just have to go about things differently. I will be remarried for 3rd time in 10 months. Had an horrendous 2 nd marriage breakup that left me vowing never to marry again!!! My partner now never saw himself marrying. Just a Piece of paper and all that!!! I do believe in marriage and we both have slightly different views. After being with him some time I knew I wanted to commit and decided a bad person ie my ex would not stop me living my life and how I wanted. So myself and partner discussed getting married. He was adamant should we do it it would be just us. No fuss. No big party etc. Hrs not someone who revels in the limelight. Makes him very uncomfortable. So we came to an agreement. I planned the wedding. Elopement wedding abroad. Just us. Not spending silly amounts. And a simple day. Ceremony and a special meal after. I was happy to compromise. Been planning it for 3 weeks. An so far have convinced him to have a nice car and a photographer too. That’s progress!!!He’s doesn’t talk about it lots but it is discussed when I need to. He just says it’ makes him feel stressed He would be happy just to live in sin( old school words) we are the wrong side of 40!!!