Wedding Forum - When are you having them?...

This may seem like an odd question but is everyone sticking to the after the wedding breakfast speech thing?
I ask because I have a very nervous groom and when he was best man a few weeks ago he barely ate any food before his speech.
We went to another wedding where they did the speeches before food. My parents (who take over big style) want them at the end of the meal and believe they follow a certain order since one person thanks one group and another compliments another person etc.
When we went to the venue, with my parents with us, we asked about what most people do and they suggested having speeches in between courses. I quite like this idea but it would still mean that the groom was not first up.

Ideas?

Hubby2be is seriously dyslexic and will struggle with getting out what he wants to say. My dad also has quite a bad stutter when he's nervous. I think we'll do them before we eat. Even though we're having a hog roast instead of a sit down meal xxx

I've never even considered this before!! Now I'm thinking oh god when are we gonna do ours?! Ha ha :(

My cousin had this problem last year - Originally intended to have all the speeches after the meal as tradition dictates but on the day she suddenly said 'right, upstairs, Dave is doing his speech!'.... He'd got so terrified that they changed it and did them! The relief on his face was instantaneous! x

Thanks Ladies, my only concern with having them before is if people are grumpy and disinterested because they are hungry?!
I dont remember this being the case at my friends wedding though and at the wedding a few weeks ago I actually felt it didnt work having them at the end. They took our dessert plates away, offered us coffee and the same time as giving us bubbly for the toast and people were fed up of sitting - we didnt get to drink both our coffee and our bubbly it was odd- who can drink both at the same time?

At our wedding we opted to up our package and instead of coffee and mints we are having coffee and fondant fancies (they were my late grandads faves) we had some at our trial meal and they looked and tasted amazing- I dont want people to be rushed with these.

We are also having speeches before the meal (a BBQ) as my h2b is so nervous and dyslexic, the best man is also nervous so can't see them being very long at all. x

i think we are having ours before the meal too...h2bs younger brother is best man and he will only just be 18 so its probably better for him to get it out of the way! i think dinner will be more enjoyable for those doing speeches as well if its out of the way! although considering how many people have requested to do a speech at our wedding they will probably still be going through the whole of the meal! bunch of weirdos our friends! xx

We had ours before the meal- Hubby was very nervous as was my uncle doing the FOB speech so I wanted them to enjoy the meal (as it costs so much!) Everyone afterwards said how much more sense it made to have speeches before! made the day flow a bit quicker too!

Ok seems most people are having speeches before the meal.... now just to convince my parents....

We had the traditional after wedding breakfast speeches just before the cake cutting. Our best man was nervous but gave a fab speech.

We will be doing ours before the meal too so h2b can enjoy his food and I don't want his brother (best man) to be really drunk doing the speech or they'll be no sense out of him

I'm now so tempted to have Father's speech after the starter, Groom after the main and Best Man after the desert for the ultimate compromise.

We thought about having ours before the meal as h2b was worried about being able to relax with worrying about doing it after the meal but when spoke to the venue they said it would totally throw off the kitchen timings for the meal with having to get all the drinks round for toasts. This wasn't the venue being a pain in the bum, they've been amazing and totally flexible with everything we have asked for but it was something we hadn't thought of when considering moving the speeches before meal. Ended up keeping them after the meal as we'll be on a kind of tight schedule for the day and want to make it easiest for everyone. H2B is ok with it now and not stressing too much but end of the day its your day and if you want speeches before the meal and venue can do it then go for it :)

We are sticking with tradition and going for after the meal. I don't think nerves have ever affected h2b's appetite and my Dad will be fine too. The only one I'm even slightly worried about is the best man, but he's pretty laid back anyway. He may not have even written a speech, knowing my luck, so it will give me some time to poke him into writing one during the meal (I really hope I don't need to do that!).

We are having ours in between the main course and the desert as that way people aren't hungry, have consumed a glass of wine or too (will find them funnier!) and they can have a rest before the desert comes out! My hubby to be, his best man and my dad are all confident speakers so would be happy to do it at any stage but I too worried about people being hungry if they are before the meal - obviously if very nervous then before might be the best option! Having said that as a guest I don't think I would be too concerned whether they were before or after - just another thing that us brides to be can stress about!!!

Sarah x

We have opted to have them before, it does mean we will be eating late but thats just tough- no point paying for a lovely meal for 3 people to not enjoy it.
So now its church at 1pm, arrival at hote 2.15, canapes and drinks 2.45, receiving line at 4pm followed by speeches and then food.

We're doing ours after the main course and before dessert to split the meal a bit. Also if they are nervous at least they will be able to enjoy dessert!