FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - When are you having them?...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • MrsCross2be
      CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    This may seem like an odd question but is everyone sticking to the after the wedding breakfast speech thing?
    I ask because I have a very nervous groom and when he was best man a few weeks ago he barely ate any food before his speech.
    We went to another wedding where they did the speeches before food. My parents (who take over big style) want them at the end of the meal and believe they follow a certain order since one person thanks one group and another compliments another person etc.
    When we went to the venue, with my parents with us, we asked about what most people do and they suggested having speeches in between courses. I quite like this idea but it would still mean that the groom was not first up.

    Ideas?
  2.  
    • clair
      CommentAuthorclair
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are going to have them befor the meal. I have a very nurvous groom too, I think he will be fine when he gets in to it but he is very nurvous about it, when he gets nurvous he finds it hard to eat. So I don't want to ruin the meal for him. Maby explain to your parents that he is very nurvous and it will be on his mind all dey so u want to get it over and done with ASAP? Xx

    Members signature icon
    Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
    Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
    became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
    our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
  3.  
    • LauraY27
      CommentAuthorLauraY27
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hubby2be is seriously dyslexic and will struggle with getting out what he wants to say. My dad also has quite a bad stutter when he's nervous. I think we'll do them before we eat. Even though we're having a hog roast instead of a sit down meal xxx
  4.  
    • MandaNanda
      CommentAuthorMandaNanda
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
     
    I always think it should be before the meal. Any time you do a toast (think christmas, birthdays, etc) it's always before the meal. You say what you are all there for, toast your drinks in celabration, and then have a lovely meal to celebrate. It's not like you pull x mas crackers after the pudding is it?

    To me, once everyone is stuffed from dinner and drowsey and had a drink already, that is not a good time to do a speach. Thats just me though.
  5.  
    • CommentAuthorMattsBride
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    I've never even considered this before!! Now I'm thinking oh god when are we gonna do ours?! Ha ha :(
  6.  
    • HelenS18
      CommentAuthorHelenS18
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    We are not having any as my mum died a few years ago, so will be a very emotional day and h2b is worried someone will say the wrong thing, so h2b is just doing a thank you toast during coffee.

    Soon to be Mrs Martin


  7.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My cousin had this problem last year - Originally intended to have all the speeches after the meal as tradition dictates but on the day she suddenly said 'right, upstairs, Dave is doing his speech!'.... He'd got so terrified that they changed it and did them! The relief on his face was instantaneous! x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  8.  
    • natg85
      CommentAuthornatg85
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Is poweruserBadgeBadge
     
    My H2B isn't doing a speech it just isn't his thing and I know it will make him a grump all day so we aren't bothering. I will probably just say a thank you etc and then my dad and the best man are doing speeches. We are doing ours in the evening as we are having a small ceremony and would like everyone to be part of that bit of the day.
  9.  
    • MrsCross2be
      CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks Ladies, my only concern with having them before is if people are grumpy and disinterested because they are hungry?!
    I dont remember this being the case at my friends wedding though and at the wedding a few weeks ago I actually felt it didnt work having them at the end. They took our dessert plates away, offered us coffee and the same time as giving us bubbly for the toast and people were fed up of sitting - we didnt get to drink both our coffee and our bubbly it was odd- who can drink both at the same time?

    At our wedding we opted to up our package and instead of coffee and mints we are having coffee and fondant fancies (they were my late grandads faves) we had some at our trial meal and they looked and tasted amazing- I dont want people to be rushed with these.
  10.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are having speeches before the meal purely because its an on the day meal order so if we have the speeches while everyone is seated waiting on the starters they are over and done with H2b can enjoy his meal and there is no chance he will be too smashed lol he too is very nervous as is my dad and the best man our speeches will last approx. 5 mins lol (Im actually thinking about giving h2b some pointers lol).

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  11.  
    • PaulaE95
      CommentAuthorPaulaE95
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We are also having speeches before the meal (a BBQ) as my h2b is so nervous and dyslexic, the best man is also nervous so can't see them being very long at all. x
  12.  
    • Mel D
      CommentAuthorMel D
      Getting married in 2 months
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We had our speeches before the meal, means everyonr can relax for the meal.

    Members signature icon
    Got married Sat 28/05/2011
    Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
    We're planning WELL in advance!!
  13.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i think we are having ours before the meal too...h2bs younger brother is best man and he will only just be 18 so its probably better for him to get it out of the way! i think dinner will be more enjoyable for those doing speeches as well if its out of the way! although considering how many people have requested to do a speech at our wedding they will probably still be going through the whole of the meal! bunch of weirdos our friends! xx
  14.  
    • *The NewMrsMalin*
      CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are going to have our before the meal as want photographs of them and the photographer goes half way through the meal :S

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
    When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
    Fight for what you believe in!
  15.  
    • MrsH
      CommentAuthorMrsH
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We had ours before the meal- Hubby was very nervous as was my uncle doing the FOB speech so I wanted them to enjoy the meal (as it costs so much!) Everyone afterwards said how much more sense it made to have speeches before! made the day flow a bit quicker too!
  16.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We're going to do ours before the meal. It will give the DJ time to get set up and the room can be rearranged before the DJ starts. It also gives us both time to mingle and have more photos taken if we want them. I think H2B will be a nervous wreck about his speech too (he says he won't).
  17.  
    • MrsCross2be
      CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ok seems most people are having speeches before the meal.... now just to convince my parents....
  18.  
    • JoD96
      CommentAuthorJoD96
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I hadn't given this much thought, but after reading all the responses am liking the idea of having them before the meal, it seems to make more sense from a lot of angles, nervousness, bordem etc




  19.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 12th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We had the traditional after wedding breakfast speeches just before the cake cutting. Our best man was nervous but gave a fab speech.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  20.  
    • Crawf
      CommentAuthorCrawf
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 12th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    I dont know what the specific tradition is, but we will be doing ours before the meal for the same reasons as others above.. as OH is really worried and wont enjoy his meal if he is sitting panicking.
    Same goes for the best man too !!

    I suppose it puts everyone in a good mood (if the speeches are good that is!!), and relaxes them before the meal.. gives people to talk about during courses?
  21.  
    • LauraK7
      CommentAuthorLauraK7
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 12th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We will be doing ours before the meal too so h2b can enjoy his food and I don't want his brother (best man) to be really drunk doing the speech or they'll be no sense out of him
  22.  
    • MelanieR15
      CommentAuthorMelanieR15
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 12th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    After the meal. From being a guest at quite a few weddings now I know there is nothing worse than sitting down to eat - then not eating (you get very hungry, especially if their are no canapes), listening to a speech instead! I think the speeches will be much more enjoyable for the guests after they have eaten, or at least after the starter maybe as a compromise.

    Members signature icon
    Met 01.06.2010
    Started going out 01.10.2010
    Got engaged on 30.12.2012
    To be Mrs Duffy as of 10.08.14
  23.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 12th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    I'm now so tempted to have Father's speech after the starter, Groom after the main and Best Man after the desert for the ultimate compromise.
  24.  
    • SJJ
      CommentAuthorSJJ
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
     
    No 100% before! Been to too many weddings where they havent been able to eat and enjoy the whole 2 hours waiting to do a speech - h2b was a complete wreck when he was best man. I think its becoming a lot more 'acceptable' now to do them before (not that i would care if it wasnt haha) xx
  25.  
    • MiriamF1
      CommentAuthorMiriamF1
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We thought about having ours before the meal as h2b was worried about being able to relax with worrying about doing it after the meal but when spoke to the venue they said it would totally throw off the kitchen timings for the meal with having to get all the drinks round for toasts. This wasn't the venue being a pain in the bum, they've been amazing and totally flexible with everything we have asked for but it was something we hadn't thought of when considering moving the speeches before meal. Ended up keeping them after the meal as we'll be on a kind of tight schedule for the day and want to make it easiest for everyone. H2B is ok with it now and not stressing too much but end of the day its your day and if you want speeches before the meal and venue can do it then go for it :)
  26.  
    • *Jen*
      CommentAuthor*Jen*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Our wedding speeches are getting done before the meal my venue sent me a schedule and they were before the meal, so we just left it like that as thats the way we wanted it anyway xxx

    Members signature icon
    we met feb 2009
    engaged may 2013
    i will marry my soul mate 22/11/14
  27.  
    • CheekyTerri
      CommentAuthorCheekyTerri
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We are sticking with tradition and going for after the meal. I don't think nerves have ever affected h2b's appetite and my Dad will be fine too. The only one I'm even slightly worried about is the best man, but he's pretty laid back anyway. He may not have even written a speech, knowing my luck, so it will give me some time to poke him into writing one during the meal (I really hope I don't need to do that!).

    Members signature icon
    'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.'
    - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Excited for 9th August 2014. :)
  28.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I completely agree with SJJ, it's an ice-breaker having the speech(es) first. There will be alot of people at our wedding who don't know each other, so I think it will be something nice before we can all relax and eat. I hadn't even thought about it before I read this thread.
  29.  
    • Sarah1865red
      CommentAuthorSarah1865red
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 16th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We are having ours in between the main course and the desert as that way people aren't hungry, have consumed a glass of wine or too (will find them funnier!) and they can have a rest before the desert comes out! My hubby to be, his best man and my dad are all confident speakers so would be happy to do it at any stage but I too worried about people being hungry if they are before the meal - obviously if very nervous then before might be the best option! Having said that as a guest I don't think I would be too concerned whether they were before or after - just another thing that us brides to be can stress about!!!

    Sarah x
  30.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 16th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I have said to my OH that I wouldn't mind if he wanted to do the speeches before the wedding breakfast so that he can relax and actually enjoy the rest of his day and what he is eating, but he said he would want to wait.. I don't think it really matters anymore, everyone is different and everyone's wedding is different. xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  31.  
    • MrsCross2be
      CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 16th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We have opted to have them before, it does mean we will be eating late but thats just tough- no point paying for a lovely meal for 3 people to not enjoy it.
    So now its church at 1pm, arrival at hote 2.15, canapes and drinks 2.45, receiving line at 4pm followed by speeches and then food.
  32.  
    • MillieT
      CommentAuthorMillieT
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 16th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Definitely before the meal xx
  33.  
    • ErinV
      CommentAuthorErinV
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 16th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We're doing ours after the main course and before dessert to split the meal a bit. Also if they are nervous at least they will be able to enjoy dessert!
 
Enter Now