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Wedding Forum - What's peoples thoughts on not having a hen...

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  1.  
    • ZaraW17
      CommentAuthorZaraW17
      Getting married in 5 months
      Posted: Feb 8th 2016
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    My stepmum wants to plan my whole hen do and she wants to go to Benidorm on a pub crawl. There's only a few problems with that they are my mum and mother in law to be don't have passports, I don't like drinking as I don't see why people need alcohol to have a good time and she doesn't get on with my Maid of honor, plus myself and my partner have two young children so it would mean leaving our children.She also wants everyone she knows there and no one I really know.
    How do I go about telling her that I don't want one?
  2.  
    • Mrs Jones
      CommentAuthorMrs Jones
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2016
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    I think you need to sit down with your step-mum and tell her honestly that it's not really want you want to do. Besides, it shouldn't be about her, it's about you. What do you really want to do? If she wants to go to Benidorm with her friends, then there is nothing to stop her from doing that.

    I was a little bit indifferent about a hen party but wanted to do something with family and close friends, so my sister (bridesmaid) has organised a surprise, but said it will be something I will like and is very me.

    Members signature icon
    First Date 26 April 2014
    Proposed 27 June 2015
    Happily Married 18 June 2016
  3.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2016
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    Did you ask her to plan it? It sounds as if she has taken it upon herself to arrange it without asking you. If so just politely tell her that you want your MOH or whoever to plan it and that a drinking holiday isn't really what you want.

    If you have asked her to plan it then get ideas about what you want or don't want and sit down and discuss it with her. Maybe drag someone else in to help her plan it and keep her feet on the ground so she doesn't get carried away.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  4.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2016
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      edited
     
    It's great that she's so enthusiastic, but maybe she's living out her own dream hen do through you?
    Surely if you explain everything you've said here shell listen and reorganise.
  5.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2016
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    It sounds like your step-mum just wants an excuse for a boozy holiday in Benidorm. Perhaps you could suggest that she plans that for her next big birthday, so it can be her thing. Your hen do,if you have one, should be about you and should be something you will really enjoy. If you really don't want a hen you shouldn't really feel obliged to have one. Maybe when your OH has his stag do (if he has one) you could just have a girly night with some close friends who won't get drunk.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  6.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2016
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    I think you need to sit down and tell her that is not what you want and you would not enjoy it at all. Be firm, this is your hen do, not hers.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2016
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    It does sound to me like she's trying to ignore what you want and just turn it into a holiday for her. I'd tell her straight what you do and don't want, do you even want her to organise it? Traditionally the MOH does it. Has she just taken over?

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • RobynL87
      CommentAuthorRobynL87
      Posted: Mar 16th 2016
      edited
     
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