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Wedding Forum - What is the generally accepted etiquette...

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  1.  
    • Celtic_Queen
      CommentAuthorCeltic_Queen
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Like the title says, what are the general rules about inviting a guest's partner?

    I ask because my cousin has invited me, but not my Fiance to her wedding in June. Me and my Fiance have been together for 6 years, 4 years longer than her and her SO and while I cannot go anyway, I would be lying if I did not say that it has annoyed me, me and my Fiance are a package.

    Would anyone else feel the same?
  2.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 5th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd feel the exact same as yourself. Your a couple so she should of asked you both

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  3.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yes you are right, you should have both been invited. Its like she's ignoring the fact your OH exists.

    Would be different if you'd not been together long, but its just not on.
  4.  
    • Celtic_Queen
      CommentAuthorCeltic_Queen
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thank you ladies, I was worried that I was overreacting. Do you think I should say something?
  5.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I don't think there's any point as you are not going.

    I would have definitely made a point if you were though. i know we always say 'its your wedding invite who you want and don't worry about anyone else' but there are always exceptions to rules, and this would be one of them.
  6.  
    • FayeJ67
      CommentAuthorFayeJ67
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 6th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Going to go against the grain a bit here and say if they are having a small intimate close family only wedding and they don't know your oh very well at all then I can see why they said it.
    Maybe they have very small numbers? A very small budget? Maybe she hates your oh but doesn't want to come out and say it.
    There are many reasons why people don't allow +1s at the ceremony/wedding breakfast just as some people don't allow kids at all!

    As you can't go anyway then I wouldn't say anything about it. If you were able to come I would discretely ask why he couldn't but likely hood is that you wouldn't like the answer.

    my sisters oh is not invited to our wedding and she is ok with that! Several other guests are not getting a +1 invite either as we simply don't have room!

    Members signature icon



  7.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 6th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I think because you have been together sooooo long, he should have been invited......

    I know you're unable to attend anyway, but if it were me and OH wasn't invited, I wouldn't attend anyway, but that's me.

    You are a family unit and yes I appreciate its perhaps a small wedding but I'd never invite 1 and not the other.....

    Saying that, my cousin is invited to our wedding and I think he has a girlfriend (of about a year) but I've never met her, I don't know her name and to be perfectly honest, I'm not 100% sure if they are still together and I haven't invited her.

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  8.  
    • MrsA2B
      CommentAuthorMrsA2B
      Posted: Feb 6th 2016
     
    In my opinion I think it's wrong to say he 'should' have been invited. As a bride organising my own wedding I know how difficult it is to put a guest list together due to maximum numbers. There are certain family members that I'm not inviting because I don't see them v often and I'd much rather have my friends there than people/family I don't really see. I'm sorry to have an opposite opinion here but I don't agree that people should expect to be invited to someone else's wedding. However, maybe you do need to find out the reason and if it isn't due to numbers then discuss it with her. I hope you get to the bottom of it xx
  9.  
    • Celtic_Queen
      CommentAuthorCeltic_Queen
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 6th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    It is a very big wedding and she has never met him although her father and sister have, if it was on that basis I could understand her not inviting him. I will be honest ladies, while it would have been difficult for me to attend in June I could, I am not making the effort to go because she didn't invite him.
    That may seem mean, but for me to go it involves an expensive train journey 4 hours North and a few weeks witthout my Fiance as I would have to see family, for the cost of going, going only for a weekend is pointless you see. I am also on a medication that I have to go to a chemist almost daily for, sorting out me taking it in Wrexham would be a huge hassle.
    Knowing my cousin and the wedding it is going to be, it really is a bit insulting that he has not been invited, especcially as that he has been invited to other family weddings.

    No need to apologise for having a different opinion MrsA2B, it is helpful to see different opinions. What would you do/feel if it was your SO?

    I am just going to leave it and send a nice card instead, although I will remember it.
  10.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 6th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Are you inviting her and her OH to your wedding? It's difficult as I don't really want people at my wedding that I don't know well or have never met- so I woukd say that if they don't know your OH then why should he be invited? weddings are so difficult- and if you start inviting extra people then it just turns into a massive wedding of people you barely know! It might have been nicer if they had not invited you to the day and just given you a joint evening invite? X

    Members signature icon



  11.  
    • MaxineP89
      CommentAuthorMaxineP89
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 6th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We have very limited spaces for our wedding, and so there are a lot of SO's in the family who will not be invited.
    Also for our evening, we are inviting work colleagues only and not the OH's - I've never met half of them so why would we want them at our wedding.

    I can understand your frustration at him not being invited though, but as you are unable to attend I wouldn't make too much of an issue of it

    Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan


  12.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 7th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think it's quite rude not to invite a partner that someone been with for years! If their numbers are that bad then don't invite that person full stop! But to invite one and not the other is rude imo. I've had to select our numbers and if I don't have enough space for the whole family or the couple then they have been put on the evening list and I've done that for people who are together for 10months or 10years as think it's important to have them at the wedding with their love ones, especially if I know them x
 
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