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    • MrsS2b
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Hello Ladies, I know this is a safe place for me to say how i am feeling. My mum bought my dress, but rather than being excited I immediately burst into tears and i can honestly say that i can't imagine wearing the dress on the day. Why did i buy it?? if i'm honest i felt pressurised by the sales staff and my mum (who was with me). It was bought in a sale and we got a discount and i've told my mum that i'm not sure about the dress and she keeps saying that we can have it altered to suit what i want it to look like, but again i keep thinking, if it is the dress i shouldn't want to change it to suit me. I'm at my wits end can't stop thinking about it. I look at the pictures of it on line and can't imagine me in it at all. I rang the shop and i can't return it. I really don't know what to do. I just feel like i'd be wearing something my mum wants me to be in and not me. I keep thinking i could sell it but as my mum paid for it i don't want to upset her. I constantly feel like i'm pleasing other people and not myself, even my H2b.
    • Flossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    I understand how you're feeling - you don't want to upset your mum as she has done a lovely thing buying your dress for you. But this is the one day where you need to be selfish and stop putting everyone else's feelings before your own. The dress is probably one of the most important parts of your big day and you need to feel a million dollars wearing it! As hard as it is, you need to be honest with your mum and tell her exactly what you've told us. You can sell it on and give your mum the money back and start looking for another one. Your mum may be upset but she should want her little girl to be happy for her big day, so hopefully she will understand. If it was my daughter, I'd rather she was honest with me rather than pretending she was happy xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    • kittyh
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Really sorry to hear you aren't happy with the dress. Maybe you should go on your own (or maybe with a friend) and try some other dresses on to work out what you do like and maybe that will help you pinpoint what it is you don't like about the dress you have. Then once you have got it all straight in your own mind you should sit down and speak to your mum and tell her that while you appreciate her efforts and paying for the dress you can't wear it. I'm sure if she is kind enough to buy your dress she will understand if you tell her exactly how you feel rather than right now where she probably thinks you are just having a wobble as lots of brides do - i have said a million times I am not sure about mine but I actually don't really mean it. Once she knows you are serious about how you feel maybe she will take pity on you and help you find a dress that you do love and maybe try and sell the other one. xx
    • Becky1608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    I agree about going on your own or with friends to try on other styles. You need to feel happy and confident on the day and I'm sure your mum would support that if you really aren't happy. I hope you manage to get everything resolved xxx

    Members signature icon
    29/09/2008 - The Day we met
    12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
    04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
    08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
    • AmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    I do feel for you because your dress on the day is the one big thing as part of everything and you need to be happy in it!
    You wedding is the one time in your life when you have the right to be as selfish and assertive as you wish. I have learned this the hard way, I'm too much of a softie in general and have had to learn to speak up and speak out with loved ones, who mean well but are being too pushy about OUR wedding day.
    The only way to get round this is to sit your Mum down and bare all your feelings, letting her know that you're very appreciative of her buying you the dress but that it's not what you want. Sell it on the pre loved /gumtree/ bay of e and you can get something back for it towards a dress that you REALLY love.
    I dig about the pleasing other people and not yourself, this is so darn frustrating for me at the moment especially with regards to my sister who is my MOH. Whilst she is very helpful, she has too many opinions of what I 'should' have on the day, and sort of takes a bit of a hump if I dont agree or go with what she says. I am dreading the hen business!!
    Hope you get it all sorted out, remember you deserve to be in the dress you love and I'm sure after explaining to your Mum, she will understand. xx
    • Sammi_with_camera
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
    I think trying on other dresses is a good idea. You have the option to sell it on ebay and then maybe find another dress on there that you do like without spending a fortune.

    You said you are always trying to please others even your h2b so is this just one thing out of a list you aren't sure of?
    You definitely deserve the dress of your dreams, i don't think i could settle either.
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 14th 2014
    You need to do what makes you happy, even if that means upsetting someone else. Like others have said try other dresses On and see how you feel in them compared to the one you have x
    • MinkyM
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
    I'd go with the same advice. Go try others on to see if you like anything else or if you change your mind and realise there was something with this dress you liked
    Then if you do find something else you can always sell this one and put towards the next

    Don't just put up with it or you will resent the dress so much it will spoil your day
    • InDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    Could you explain to your mum exactly how you feel and then go try other dresses on and find your dream perfect dress. Then sell your one to put towards it. It's a big part of your wedding and you must feel happy and comfortable in what you'll be wearing when you marry your OH x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

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