Good for you Nicola...remember you are the strong one here...to be weak would not doing anything. It's going to be a tough time ahead of you but you have a great support network of ladies on here and it sounds like you have your friends and your mum to be there for you too. You will be fine hon, maybe it's a blessing that you found out now before using the wedding savings for the wedding and then leaving yourself with nothing xx big hugs and thinking of you xx (btw I too put myself into loads more debt foor an ex...who didn't appreciate anything I did for him, and was quite happy as long as I kept the whiskey bottles coming and didn't complain about him spending hours and hours on internet poker sites...hence why he is now an ex!)

good for you hun!! xx

make the most of your weekend away and enjoy urself xx

aww nicola i wonder the same thing about men i think its to test us all (i had an ex that left me in debt - i was young an stupid) sending you big hugs an as the girls have said we here for you xx

I Hope things start working out hun, he shouldn't be lying to you about finances seeing as his debts are soon to be your debts - and I'm sure by the sound of it most of his previous debts are yours now anyway. Definitely get legal help from the companies that specialise in debt help. Good Luck x

wow hun i have to say u should think about u and if u dont trust him then its not fair to be going through this. My ex was an arse who made everything my fault!!! He needs to learn to respect what he has or had cos sounds to me he is going to loose u which i think isnt all a bad thing. But whatever happens hun we will all be here, sending u big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

I am so sorry to hear your news hun :( It makes me mad when men think they can use and abuse a woman. As the others have said we're all here for you and we certainly don't care if you have a moan now and then, that's what we're here for. xxx

Ah hun have just seen this post!

You have to listen to yourself and do what you think is right. Even if that means stayinga nd working through things. Talk to him and be bluntly honest - if you cant do it face to face then can you write him a letter? At least that way you could say what you really felt and then he would have to confront everything

Money really is the cause of most couples problems but nothing is unsolvable and if you feel that you want to stay with him then do it. Its your opinion that matters

on the other hand - if he doesnt change then things get worse could you really manage / cope?

Be honest with yourself and know we are here if you need to talk - I dont know many women who havent experienced some sort of problem when it comes to relationships and money.

xxxxx

im going to write down all the things that i wana say to him and make sure that each point covers everythign!
xx

why have i only seen this post...?!?!?!?!

Nic sweetpea, im saying this because i think a lot of you...... are you blooming mental woman.... you need to put that big size 6 foot down and stamp on his little pea brain..... he has done nothing but lie and be completely unconsiderate on your financial status!! there has been so many times that he has lied about money and he really needs to address this situation now before you can think about any future with him.

The fact that he went off on one because you found out makes me sick.... the reason he lied in the first place is beacuse he was embrassed and knew you would flip at him. he knew what he had done was wrong..... hubby once got a credit card out with out me knowing and i went mental. he promised it was or emergancies and after 3 weeks it was maxed out.... need less to say its now in the bin.

He needs to understand that a marriage is a partnership and everything should be equal... how dare he think that he is entitled to the extra 2k... what about waht your entilted to? a loving h2b who you can trust and who will never lie to you?

He needs to prove to you that you can trust him. how about putting him on some sort of course about lying or financial management... it seems that this is big issue for him which he just cant sake. i think you need to get this sorted before you get married as it will only get worst.... big hugs xx

He's a liar

And he will NOT stop lying until he gets help

He needs to sort this out now