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  1.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
     
    Hi all, fiancé & I have booked a local venue for our wedding but have now decided to go abroad with kids & get married instead. My question has anyone else done this & how did you approach the situation?

    Little bit of background:

    One mother is alcoholic. Does not comprehend impact she has on others.
    One mother is rather moody/attention seeker/ thinks shes above other mother. Does not comprehend impact on others either.
    Father is fully recovered alcoholic who basically hates all social gatherings. Cant really move for moody mother!

    Moody mother wants her brother I've never had contact with & my sisters friends at wedding.
    Grandparents will not attend wedding due to alcoholic mother (their daughter)
    Fiances brother will not attend evening due to alcoholic mother. He has been asked to fulfil Father of Bride roll.

    Fiance having 4 bridesmaids. Two are not friends & have been argueing via Facebook. One now not bridesmaid.
    Moody mother wants my sister as bridesmaid. Sister blatantly dislikes other bridesmaids.

    My bestmen "forgot" our very small (10 people) home engagement party.

    I will not be having stag as bestmen do not want to have one. I don't have very large social circle so would have just been us 3.

    Female friend of 16yrs now bestman.

    Fiance will not be having hen night due to my sister & mother dislike her bridesmaids, mothers & two bridesmaids don't get along.

    Most of the dislike between people has only surfaced since the engagement was announced. We will be losing a very large deposit if we go abroad, however going abroad ( with paid deposit) will still be cheaper than local wedding.

    We plan on just going on holiday with kids, get married & announce it while away. We will not have party to celebrate as all these issue will still exist.

    I know its a lot to consider so any advice would be great!
  2.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hi Barry.
    Goodness me, sounds like you are dealing with a lot of issues on what should be one of the most exciting and special times in yours and your OH lives.
    Best advice from me would be to ask yourself and your OH how you feel about it all and what you both really want then go do it.
    It's sad others can't put the happy couple first.
    Hope you can both still have the most special and amazing wedding day whatever you decide to do.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  3.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
     
    Thanks, I'm positive that going away is best thing to do. This will be our first holiday abroad together as couple & family so cant wait.

    I think my fiancé will be an emotional/nervous wreck at home wedding as more difficulties keep popping up. I've read various posts on family sticking their noses in or folk not getting along, but we've got both!

    We want to get married for us, for our children. Definitely think family & friends forget what the wedding is all about.

    Its a real shame that the ones causing so much hassle are the ones that should be the most supportive. If we tell them we are going abroad to get married we wont hear the end of that either. All tears & snotters from the attention seekers!

    They say its easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission, certainly hope so!
  4.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people. Sharing problems here and getting support from all the members will hopefully help.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  5.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Oh dear Barry, that does sound complicated and I'm sorry your having to deal with this

    If I were in your shoes, I would do exactly the same. Just go away, you your fiancé and your children, get married and deal with it when you get back. Once it's done no amount of b1tch1ng from the family can change things so they can either like it or lump it!

    The main thing here is, it's urs and ur Fiancés decision and if your happy and your children are happy then that's what is important.

    I hope you have the best day ever x

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  6.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My advice ......
    do EXACTLY want YOU want ..... these people dont seem to care bout you so why should you worry ..

    Write cards out before you go away and post on day of departure (with 2nd class stamp on ) that way you dont even have to announce anything !!!

  7.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    Perfect x

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  8.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    firstly im sorry to hear your going through all this, weddings really do, bring the truth out in people,
    if it was me, i would do what you want to do, i would go and do it abroad without all the hassle, people that put you through all that, dont deserve to spent it with you, to stress you and your fiance out like that, when it supposed to be about you both and not them!

    worry about all them when you get back as im sure they arnt thinking about you, they are all thinking of themselves xxx
  9.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    weddings really do bring out the worst in people, not spoken to my mil or sil at all since the weddings. it just turned them totally psycho!

    Do exactly what YOU want to do. But make your minds up quick! i wish we had cancelled ours and just effed off to do it because of all the stress, but we kept trying to 'sort' it with family, in the end, although we had an amazing day and i didnt pay any mind to the presence i think i was more happy that it was finally over, than i was to be getting married.

    some people can not see beyond the end of their own noses.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  10.  
    • Sprucey
      CommentAuthorSprucey
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Do what makes you happy!! It's your money you'll be spending I take it so make it worth your while! Are there any close friends you would want to come that could also keep the secret? Maybe as your witnesses?

    Members signature icon
    Great friends
    24.04.11 got together
    27.03.12 my birthday and our engagement day at Thorpe Park!
    25.04.13 birth of our baby girl 25.08.15 together4ever
  11.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
     
    Thanks for the replies, was prob just looking for justification in going away from people not connected to me.

    Sprucey its the people closest to us that cant get along, I think that's why we are planning on going abroad. If it was extended family or workmates we could have used the ole "small doo" excuse to not invite them.

    Teresa I'm sure they'll not give us a second thought while we are on holiday, until we come home married!

    Lala the card idea is awesome, think i'll be doing that! I do think they care but with their bloated sense of entitlement & insistence that they're always right they just cant see their making our lives hard!

    Thanks again everyone, mind made up with conviction now! Abroad with those that REALLY matter to me!
  12.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    So pleased you've made a decision on what you want and what's best for you and your closest loved ones.

    All the best with the planning - keep us all updated!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  13.  
    • *The NewMrsMalin*
      CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2015
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    Glad you have made a decision as you were stuck in a very difficult and complicated situation. :S

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
    When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
    Fight for what you believe in!
  14.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2015
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    Good decision BarryA92.....



    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  15.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Great decision, you enjoy it, after all it's about you and your kids, everyone else can go *******

    Love to you all, hope the stress is lifting :) xx
  16.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2015
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    I love lala's idea! Do whatever makes you happy. Families are hard work at the best of time and this sounds like a nightmare! For similar reasons to yours, our wedding will either be abroad or a surprise! Either way, my family aren't going!

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  17.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sounds like you have made the right decision Barry.

    The people around you clearly don't have your best interests at heart and it sounds like the two of you would just get very stressed having the wedding at home and would not enjoy it.

    I wish you both the best for the future.




  18.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I say go for it, wedding about you two and sounds like everyone else just having drama issues! Go enjoy your wedding and leave them to their issues, hope u have a lovely wedding abroad with those that are important x
  19.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Getting married in 7 months
      Posted: May 5th 2015
      Is poweruserBadgeBadge
     
    Good decision
 
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