It's been a while since I last posted here but during the time I've been away a few things have happened..
Firstly we have found a gorgeous venue! We both love it, and they offer a brilliant deal in which we can have pretty much everything for £3,500.. leaving us to find the clothing and the tiny little extras and thats it! The venue itself is gorgeous and they have everything planned out and know exactly what they are doing.
On the day we saw it we pretty much decided that that venue was the one that we wanted. My dads side of the family were willing to offer the deposit and help us pay for it and we were all very excited.
Now, since me and h2b got engaged my mum hasn't mentioned the wedding much. In fact, she pretty much refused to talk about it until a week or so ago. The other week she came over and we discussed the possibility of venues. I showed her the manor and she agreed that it was nice. However, she was determined to find me a cheaper alternative and suggested that we ask for money towards a deposit on the house from the family and go for a cheap wedding. She, herself, has not mentioned anything about contributing any money to the wedding, and is the kind of person that would want us to prove that we can afford the whole wedding by ourselves before suggesting that she would contribute or help out.
We are already having a cheapish wedding - aiming for around £5,000 in total - and have made a point of not asking anyone to contribute but leaving it completely up to them. We would feel very rude asking the family to spend money on something different to what they actually offered to pay for and both know that a deposit on a house is likely to cost more than the actual wedding itself!
Not sure what to do now. It is great that my mum is finally joining in, but I now don't know what to do. I really love the original venue I mentioned, but do I go with that and risk falling out with my mum, or is the idea of a cheaper wedding a good idea?
Sorry for the random ramblings.. just wanted to get it all out!!
CommentAuthorsbride
I dont think you should change your venue if you can afford it. U have plenty time to save up and you have people willing to help out. If they didnt wanna help they wouldnt of offered. Not really sure why your mum is making these sugestions to you. Maybe because she thinks a house is more important? Which in some cases it is but £5000 is a perfectly reasonable amount to spend on a wedding and like you said, wouldnt be enough for a deposit anyways.
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
If you can afford it then I would stick to your plans or you will regret it later on. If the venue costs cover everything you need and you need to pay very little else out then it can work out cheaper than getting a room as by the time you buy in the decorations, table clothes, food and entertainment the costs soon add up again.
CommentAuthorlemlau
Go with what you want. Its your and h2b's day. As long as you can afford it pay for it without getting into debt.
I understand where your mum is coming from but doing it for 5k and under is easy to do there is so many bargains out there and you can do alot of stuff yourself. You still have a while yet so depending on your financial situation you should be able to do things on a pay as you go system
xx
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CommentAuthorloubie100
I would stick with your original plans! if people didnt want to contribute they wouldnt have offered and also if you change your plans so you dont upset your mom you will regret it xx
Get it booked! That's a great deal and if it's the place you can imagine yourself getting married then don't worry about what your Mum says.
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Living happily ever after as Mrs Nottage x
CommentAuthorMrsCandlin2B
Thanks everyone, I'm going to chat to my mum and tell her what we want.. take a little more control of our own wedding hehe.
CommentAuthorVictoriaAcreman
Good for you, I'm not really brave enough to tackle my mother but I had the same problem recently when trying to tell her about a fantastic wedding ring I saw. She immediately said "can't you get one from Argos?" never asked me what it looked like, where it was from, how much it was etc I dunno, maybe it's a generation thing. After all, we have more choices now on venues than our parents. They had registry office and church and that was it.
CommentAuthorsbride
To be honest, I think mums are just worried about us getting in debt and not being able to afford things. Its probably becuause they care. But its your wedding day so you should do it your way x
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorekielty(now Trow)
Its nice that your mum is getting involved but maybe your mum has suggested the "cheaper" wedding as she doesnt want to contribute to it???
If you and your h2b are excited by the venue you have chosen and its everything you want, then by all means, go for it and enjoy it! xxxx
Very very happy as Mrs Erica Trow
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! xx
CommentAuthorMel D
I have to say that £5k IS a cheap wedding! If you've found the perfect venue which includes almost everything as you say for £3.5k I'd go for it! That's a brilliant price. Do want you want to do, you're only going to do it once, and you don't want to look back on your day with regret that you didn't go for it, and blame your mum for not having the venue and wedding that you wanted. xx
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Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorxxhan87xx
5k is perfectly resonable for a wedding as you have a while you can save it easily that's our budget and started saving in jan and we will meet target by the wedding. If I had a any less then that I'd struggle to have a dream wedding it would be nice still but not perfect for what I want eg castle venue and Florida after . Take your mum to see the venue maybe? If she sees what your getting for 3.5k she might change her mind x
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CommentAuthormelvis
if youre saying your mum isnt keen to contrbute anyway then what difference does it make to her where you have it! at the end ofthe day as long as you guys are getting married and are happy thats all tht counts....if ths venue will make your day perfect go for it... and that price is fab!! id love to find a package like that ha!! xx all th best huni xxx
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CommentAuthorx ashlil x
keep your venue x
CommentAuthorCheryl22
edited
Can i be nosy and ask what the venue is called as it sounds like it could be the same one we are going for!!
EDIT: Sorry never mind just noticed that you live nowhere near me lol x
There is nothing so sweet in life, as loves young dream!
CommentAuthorMrsCandlin2B
Cheryl, its the Manor House in Alsager.. nearer my family!
I have contacted my mum to tell her we have decided that we want that venue but have not had a reply yet. Even so, I did a bit of last minute budgeting and crunching numbers and turns out we can afford it without her contribution anyway!
The issue was mainly that she said she would contribute but then refuses to say how much and was pushing us towards having a very cheap wedding. Initially we thought we wouldnt be able to afford the venue without her help and needed to know so we could look elsewhere if it wasnt possible!
CommentAuthorVictoriaAcreman
Have a blast and hope you enjoy every second of it xx
