Hello Ladies, I was wondering if any other brides are having the same experience with their fiancé as me when it comes to planning the day? We aren't getting married until November 2017 and I am fed up of hearing "I'm not even thinking about that now when it's over a year away!" :( We agreed on a theme and colour scheme together and I have since booked all the important things like photographer, DJ and so on but I really feel like I'm doing everything on my own. He's organising the music for the day and says he's happy for me to do the rest which is fine by me although I'd like to hear some approval of my choices. Each time I ask his opinion on something whether it be entertainment or decor it's met with a blank expression or "Whatever makes you happy." Because of this I've thought stuff him and gone ahead with purchases. Don't get me wrong he has come up with a few of great ideas and sometimes out of the blue he'll mention something that gives me hope he is actually interested but for the most part it's hard work. Every now and again I have a panic that nothing will look right on the day and it will all be down to me because I haven't had any input or help with my choices. I know guys don't get as excited about weddings as we do but I just would like some more enthusiasm on his part. I have mentioned this to him. Am I alone in feeling like this?
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
we get married in 4 weeks and OH has only had input on the suits. Everything else has been me so no your not alone :) xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorWundatigga
Definitely not alone- it's like talking to a brick wall! We're getting married August 2017 and OH is also of the mindset that it's miles away. He does understand that things need putting in place sooner rather than later but he just doesn't seem capable of thinking that far ahead. In the end I have done most of the planning just because it's easier, but I have left certain aspects as his responsibility (suits, music, paying deposits) so that he will at least have some input to the day. Though I must admit he did help wth the photographer interviews so that was a plus :)
Started dating: 10th February 2011
Welcomed our little girl: May 2015
I proposed: 23rd December 2015
I finally become Mrs R 17th August 2017
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
You are definately not alone.... My OH has had no input either. He wanted the venue but i have planned everything else and decided everything.
xx
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorJessica29792
I feel the same way! H2B has already said its my day, I wanted it bla bla bla, and that whatever I say goes. But it would be nice for the input to feel like you are doing things right. Yeah fair enough men don't know a thing about weddings and things like this, and we are better organisers, but sometimes it can drive you a little crazy. I feel like I'm so alone in planning it all I am so worried in case I miss something important! :/
I planned our whole day. I'd run something past him and he'd say whatever. Then if I did not run it past him, he'd moan. If he did sit with me and look for things, he'd want it over quickly.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorLauraH813
Glitterfairy omg mine is exactly like that too! 2 mins into a discussion and he switches off. When a parcel arrives he huffs when I show him the contents because he didn't have a say in it despite the fact that weeks prior I would have asked him what his thoughts were on say a Wishing Tree and he would have said "whatever". Thank you ladies. It really helps to know other brides are going it alone too. Men! :) xx
CommentAuthorShellbell
We have only just started planning and so far h2b is very involved. Long may it continue xx
Met 2004 lost contact after a few years
Met again 2013
Engaged July 6th 2016
Married July 14th 2018
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Fingers crossed for you Shellbell! OH just said that he wants it to be perfect for me and as long as I have what I want and I'm happy with it then its all good :) x
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
Think it's a man thing. My OH has left the bulk of everything to me as well. I actually prefer it that way in all honesty!!!!
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorEmily17
This makes me laugh and a little sad at the same time. Our wedding day is nothing like I wanted it because of OH. I wanted the church ceremony and then a civilised meal with family afterwards in a nice restaurant. But he wanted the big white wedding day that little girls dream of so we are having a receiving line, wedding breakfast, speeches and evening reception.
He shot down all my venue choices because they were not modern enough and every table centrepiece I have suggested he shoots down quicker than I say it! Problem is he doesn't have ideas of his own. He just wants it very modern and elegant which I am struggling with because I am more old fashioned and vintagey. He also leaves most of the planning to me. I will get a short list of suppliers and he will then help me whittle it down to the final one.
I'm having my way with the church. Its my family church and I am picking the music. Only because I am practising and he isn't and he hasn't got a clue when it comes to hymns but that's still my bit and I'm clinging onto it!
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorStephanieM158
Nope youre not alone. He has no clue whats going on... He bought his suit and he thinks thats his part done. Mind you he spray painted a clothes rail for me the other day. Progress. :-P
Met 2004
Engaged 2014
Getting Married 2016
CommentAuthorStephanieM158
Thats sad to read Emily. Have you sat down together and run through ideas?? Ask him what he would like. My partner wanted the big wedding thing i wanted a beqch wedding and a few family members. Thats his input on the whole day. Hes never shot my ideas down though... Hope ur ok xxxx
Met 2004
Engaged 2014
Getting Married 2016
CommentAuthorVikkiH53
I'm planning all of ours too though I have ran 90% of the decisions past him to check he didn't hate it! He's chosen our first dance and suits but that's it. But then again we only booked the date in July so had under a year to plan and currently doing major renovations at home which he is leading on so its worked well for us to each lead on a separate thing!!
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
My oh isn't very hands on but tbh, currently there's nothing much to do.
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
The best way I found to get OH involved was asking him about things he was interested in. OH loves music so we had a really good chat about songs we would like played in the evening and suddenly off he went to make a playlist (which eventually got used for background music at the wedding breakfast as we had a band). So find something he's interested in whether that be music or food or whatever and try to initiate the conversation with that. X
CommentAuthorMaxineP89
I think i'm one of the lucky ones. OH has had loads of input, and although I must do his head in some times he has helped me with everything so far, from choosing the room décor, to the cake tasting and also helping to choose the style of cake. However, most of the final choices were mine (as its my first time and his 3rd) He also chose the venue, but to be honest it was my favourite too. We have discussed everything. (including what type of dress I will be wearing - although he has said he doesn't want to know - I guess he's a bit of a traditionalist lol)
I do feel sometimes he is a lacking a little in enthusiasm - but I just remind it that it is his wedding too and the choices should be ours and not just mine.
We try to set aside just half hour a week, just to talk wedding then after we go and see a movie or meet up with friends, so that the wedding is "put away for the week" it doesn't stop me from looking at things during the week and prepping them for the weekend. I guess it does help that the OH works permanent nights lol so I have all the time in the world to research things etc.
Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan
CommentAuthorFayeH
My OH isn't quite as interested as I am in the wedding planning, and as I love organising we both knew from the start most of it would be down to me. It does annoy me sometimes that he's not as involved - he came up with ideas for the first dance and other things but a lot of things - i.e. favours, decoration, colour scheme - he thinks are on the whole quite insignificant so he doesn't really engage in serious discussion about them. Although it does warm my heart a bit when I can tell he's trying to look/sound interested for my benefit.
CommentAuthorEmily17
Stephanie it isn't as bad as I made that sound reading back! I am ok with the modern style but wouldn't be my first choice so coming up with ideas is a bit of a blank page for me. I do try to get him involved. He chose our wedding cake and talking through flowers I said what I wanted but that it wasn't possible and he came up with a lovely idea. So he does help but its just that we struggle with the decoration details because that's where we clash. He isn't very creative so he isn't good with coming up with things he likes but knows he likes it when he sees it.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorSusanM34
Mine isn't as involved as I'd like him to be, especially when he wanted me to ring around and sort out suits for him. Most definitely put my foot down on that one! However, he does whatever I need him to and has had input on most things, so I suppose I can't moan too much :)
Became Mrs Maunders on 22nd October 2016!
CommentAuthorStephanieM158
Hehe Emily. Im going with the whole "like it or lump it" attitude. I know what you mean though, my H2B is quite happy to tell me that things wont match or go together or the fact im up until silly oclock n the morning to wash jars is unessesary but when I ask what he does wnat he just kind of shrugs.
I gave him one more job yesterday, he is a tool maker and so uses the lathe a lot at work. He is now in charge of carving our rings. (They'll be made of wood) :-)
Met 2004
Engaged 2014
Getting Married 2016
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i sorted both ceremonies ( we had legal on in usa n another here for family ) with mr lala in sudan , i even sorted his suit !!!!
You're not alone. My Hubby left most of it to me. He dealt with the church as that was his idea, paid for stuff when it needed paying for and painted our Mr & Mrs blocks and our fire buckets. Oh, and sorted out the measuring up for the suits. He is a very practical person so he was in his element when it came to painting and sorting out the reception venue the day before the wedding.
CommentAuthorStephH96
I would say we have done a lot equally. I chose the airline for the flight and s@nd@ls for Barbados, and he was happy with it because we got a good deal. We chose the Vegas hotel and the chapel together. We'll organise the party when we get back together although I have a feeling I'll have the more creative input. For our party invites I have done the design (although we came up with the idea together), printed them and written the names out as well as doing the guest list and the spreadsheet to keep track. OH is now cutting them out as they are a pain in the bum so I gave him that job to do lol :)
CommentAuthorSamB90
My OH has a teeny bit of input before giving up, you are most definitely not alone in this! I try and give him smaller jobs, or I I want his opinion with things, I whittle it down to ones i like and then get him to pick
Will become Mrs Holland on 08/08/2017
CommentAuthorclairenina
I was one of the lucky brides I think, as my husband doesn't fit many stereotypes. He organised more of the wedding than I did.
CommentAuthorNicoleW665
same here :s he wanted a lego theme which i allowed but has completely left it up to me to try to get it to fit into the day, he wanted a lego cake topper but left it to me to find one/ you arent alone
When we met: August 2009
When we announced engagement: December 2015
When we will get married: September 2017
CommentAuthorDanielleG93
your definitely not alone, my oh is terrified of being center of attention so will steer away from wedding topics whenever he can LOL but he does have days where he will surprise me with little things like an idea for our first dance etc
Mrs Barlow to-be
2nd September 2017
CommentAuthorAnikaM60
Oh is not helping with anything tbh. Its making the planning more stressful. The only input hes had was being there when we found a venue we liked and thats the extent of it. Very frustrating but you are not alone and seeing this post makes me realise im not either.
CommentAuthorNicoleW665
edited
my H2B has just had some not so good news from work and now i'm not allowed to mention the wedding until he finds out what is happening with his job :( it's so irritating to have somebody who is so uninterested he doesn't even want to talk about it, i understand he is in a horrible situation but i do feel life is being put on hold
When we met: August 2009
When we announced engagement: December 2015
When we will get married: September 2017
CommentAuthorDanielleG93
aww nicole sorry to hear this, i would feel the same as you if i was in your situation, sending you big hugs, hope your h2b gets his work situation sorted x
Mrs Barlow to-be
2nd September 2017
CommentAuthorNicoleW665
thank you Danielle :) we should hopefully find out in a weeks time, fingers crossed it's going to be ok and we can carry on with our planning x
When we met: August 2009
When we announced engagement: December 2015
When we will get married: September 2017