Nearly 2 years ago my mum sadly passed away with a aggressive form of cancer- my dad her her went on a cruise in January/February round China , she came home and had a bug, she never really got 100% over it. In the may it was her 60th, she had a biopsy and we were told it was cancer, 2 weeks later the biopsy came back and we were told it was terminal and by 20th aug 2013 she broke my heart and breathed her last breath.
My mum woukd have loved all this wedding stuff so was thinking of having a toast to her in the speeches- do you think this is acceptable or will guest think it a bit weird?
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think it is totally acceptable to raise a toast to her, also, you can have a picture up of her somewhere with a memory candle, and maybe have something sewn inside your dress which belonged to her
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorSarah D
That's totally acceptable! My friend had a seat at the top table with a pic of her mum in it and a little sign saying reserved for the mother of the bride xx
Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Aww that is such a sweet idea and bought a tear to me eye- bit emotional this week as its the first time since mum passed away I have been ill and I would always call her and speak to her to cheer me up and also it is 2 years to the day that the Dr told us she had 24 hours to live (even tho she lasted a further 10 days)
CommentAuthorSarah D
So sorry for your loss it must be very hard, my best friend who lost her mum and had this at her wedding was the same and having this memorial to her mum at the wedding was a comfort to her xx
It is hard but my mum was such a positive person and her motto in life was to have a laugh a day- I love the idea of a memory candle and wearing something of hers- I have an necklace that I bought her when I was about 7 that she wore everyday so that will be worn on the day too x
CommentAuthorEmily17
Do it, it will be a lovely gesture to her.
We are having a memory table with pics of all our loved ones who cant be there and will be getting a memory candle. you can get some lovely ones on the bay.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
I think that is such a lovely idea and I've been at some weddings where there has been a toast to all the people who would have loved to have been there, but sadly were no longer here. Some people also, as Emily says, have a memory table with photos of loved ones.
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
We had a toast to my mum who passed away , my hubby did the main toasts then i also did a speech and used it to say I never imGined having my wedding without her but thanked everyone for the support especially with the planning.
My dad mentioned a toast to all that can't be there as me and hubby have no living grandparents and also other close relations who hVe sadly passed away.
Another thing I did for my mum was get flowers made up (same as in bouquet) placed them where she would of sat in the cathedral and then a few days later we took them to be placed on her grave.
X
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
What a lovely thing to do. Go for it. So sorry for your loss x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I think it's a brilliant thing to do. At OH's cousin's wedding they toasted their grandmother who would have been 100.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
I think it's wonderful idea and I am hoping to do the same at my wedding in 2017. My mum passed away at 60 in January this year, just two months before my OH proposed. I had discussed some ideas flippantly with her before but I really feel the loss now I'm starting to look into things properly.
We have decided to have a photo wall at the venue with lovely framed pictures of her and also my uncle and our grand parents who have sadly passed away, and a little framed sign saying 'wish you were here'.
I'm sorry for you loss.
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
So sorry to hear about your loss too futuremrsw - it must be even harder for you as you had discussed things with her- there is not a day goes by when I do not think about her so feel that is an important art of they day too- I think I might have a gin cocktail made to have a toast to my mum as that was her favourite tipple too :-)
CommentAuthorErinP42
Think it is so acceptable. My dad had a seat at top table for his dad who passed away few months before wedding.
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Thanks all- it's so nice to hear how everyone else has remembered and incorporated these that are no longer with us into their weddings xx
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
Thanks Michelle. Gin cocktails sounds a great idea! Was my mum's favourite tipple too - probably a stylish generational thing ;)
CommentAuthorMyranny
It's your day, and I don't think anyone would think it was weird at all. My aunt (by marriage) brought her mother's ashes to her wedding, and nobody batted an eyelash at that so do whatever makes you happy xx
CommentAuthorleasa
Do it, I did!
I stood up and said a little piece. We even had a place at the top table, name card and plate, knife and fork and a glass of wine.
My bouquet was put in a vase at her seat too
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One of my friends took a photo of it too!
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Met 30th May 2005
Proposed in Monte Carlo August 25th 2013
Became Mrs K on 30th May 2015
Married my Gorgeous Greek God
CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
Not weird at all. Lovely idea. I'm going to look into a charm to attach to my bouquet in memory of my sister who died so she can be up there with me and my other sisters who are bridesmaids. Sorry for your loss
21st May 2016 xxx
CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
Leasa that's lovely. Your poor dad looks so lost there as if he's about to cry
21st May 2016 xxx
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Wow leasa really brave of you- I don't think I would be brave enough to stand up and toast mum without being an emotional wreck, it's lovely what you did.
Danielle- so sorry for your loss too-such a sweet idea of having a charm attached to your bouquet xx
CommentAuthorFlossie
edited
Definitely acceptable! I'm sure everyone would all think it was lovely and join you with raising a glass to her! Sorry for your loss xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
It's definitely acceptable, I've been to a wedding where my uncle (father of the groom) was made central to the grooms speech, needless to say we (family) were in tears, was so emotional.
Sorry for your loss, it's beautiful to remember her in whatever you feel is wanted x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Sorry for your loss. We are going to light candles during the ceremony in memory of the people who are no longer with us. X
CommentAuthorNatalieS200
Its totally acceptable. We are doing a toast to my dad at the wedding who passed away january 2013, I'd hate to not acknowledge my dad on one of the most important days of my life xx
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
Of course it's acceptable! A wedding I went to a few years ago the grooms speech had a part as "a toast to those who are not here". It was very emotional for the couple and was absolutely lovely. x
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
CommentAuthorKjs2016
MichelleC961 - wow your story echos a lot of mine sadly. I lost my Mum 3 years ago, she found out on her 60th birthday in April that she didn't have long to live due to cancer. We lost her in the July. I had met OH in the February and so Mum had the opportunity to meet him quite a few times & she liked him - thank goodness. Mum knew she wouldn't be around to see us get married (think she knew something then that I didn't!) I honestly didn't agree with her and no matter what anyone said she would be there! Unfortunately not and like you I am planning on saying something at our wedding - although I have questioned a few times whether it would be appropriate. I also plan to have a framed picture of my Mum there on the day and a photograph charm to hang from my bouquet. I am also considering having personalised cufflinks for my Dad with a picture of my Mum. There are so many ways you can bring your Mum in to the day. It breaks my heart that my Mum can't be with me to share the whole thing especially the choosing of the dress and to be honest I may take her framed picture with me to do that too! Anyway - sorry for waffling, its something which I can relate to so much! MY OVERALL ADVICE IS: go for it and do whatever you would like to, in order to make it easier and to have your Mum there with you on the big day. xx
CommentAuthorJennK
Definitely acceptable. We didn't mention anyone specific in the speeches, it would have been too hard. But we made sure Gran got one of the centre pieces to put on Grandad's memorial stone.