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  1.  
    • EmmaN66
      CommentAuthorEmmaN66
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
     
    Hi all.

    Hoping someone can give me a bit of advice, maybe your in the same boat.

    My Fiancé proposed Christmas Day 2014, was an amazing surprise. We have started looking at venues to get an idea of budget. We've decided that £8-9000 is probably the most we want to spend.

    On top of this we are also trying to save for a house deposit, we live with my parents at the moment, which, while it's helpful and I am so so grateful they've allowed us to stay here paying minimum living expenses, it's getting a little much.

    Have brides and grooms found it easier to save all the money for their weddings first, knowing you've definitely got it all or is it better/easier to put deposits down, save the rest and then pay as you go along. I'm hoping to try and save around £10,000 for a house deposit. I know it's going to be difficult as I'm the main bread winner, and my fiancé will save as much as he can with me.

    Just getting really down heartened, am I missing the point and should just concentrate on the house deposit, I'm just so afraid that once we get a property, we'll never be abLe to save for our wedding, even if we halve the budget for it.

    Any help/advice would be much appreciated.

    A very stressed and frustrated bride to be.
    Emma

    Met Dan 2009
    Engaged 2014
    Hope to be Mrs 2017
  2.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We never saved first, we just spent any extra we had. We sold items to build up funds as well. It all helped.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  3.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We bought a house first and he proposed about 3 years later.

    We are saving as we are going.

    Good luck!

    Members signature icon
    Met 29/3/2006
    Engaged 24/8/13
    Married 26th August 2016
  4.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are living with his parents. He pays £100 pm as rent which goes into a separate account which is for us to save up for a house deposit (were really lucky that his parents dont need the money so are keeping it aside as a savings account for us)

    We are paying at least half for our wedding with our parents paying roughly 25% each to make up the rest. After we've got money for our honeymoon we're in strict savings mode for a house deposit.

    Decide between you both which is most important between having your own house or being married and take it from there.

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  5.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We bought a house last august then he proposed in the October, I def think buying our house first was the best option for us as we now have our home and now have our wedding to look forward to without the worry of saving for a house, but that's just what was best for us, depends on yourself what's more important are you happy where you are for now or do you want a place to live in once your married Xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  6.  
    • AmandaK74
      CommentAuthorAmandaK74
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with Sarah you should get yourself on the property market 1st, i know i wouldn't want to live with my parents as husband and wife.
    in relation to saving ect we began to save before we started looking at venues ect and glad we did because things cost so much more than we thought. however we did managed to pay deposits with our savings and had time to save extra over the run up to our wedding day to pay things off in full. I guess it depends on your individual financial situation

    met 11th December 2010
    engaged 2nd August 2013
    getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
  7.  
    • EmmaN66
      CommentAuthorEmmaN66
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
     
    Thank you for all the replies. It just confirms what I thuoght would be the better idea. I think your right. A house for us to live in is better than still living with my parents as husband and wife.

    Really appreciate all your input, it's nice to know how others have tackled and been in similar situations, we are not alone in this and that gives me hope.

    Xx

    Met Dan 2009
    Engaged 2014
    Hope to be Mrs 2017
  8.  
    • Mrs D2B
      CommentAuthorMrs D2B
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    you need to be realistic, you need to decide what your priorities are and you need to work out what is financially viable for you. saving for a deposit is just the first step in buying a house, once bought you will then have a mortgage to pay, repairs to be paid for, furnishings to be bought so you may find saving for a wedding on top of that very hard. on the other hand do you want to still be living at home when your married?
    is there a reason behind wanting to get married quickly? if not time can be for friend, my h2b and,I have decided on a date 3 years from now giving us plenty,of time to,save and shop around without putting too much pressure on ourselves.
    you need to do what's best for you without causing to much stress because if you spend all of your planning time,wondering,where the money is going to come from,you won't enjoy yourself half as much. good luck x

    Members signature icon
    31/12/2017 A New Year, A New Life, A New Husband and Wife


  9.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      BadgeBadge
     
    We currently rent and are saving for a house.
    For us it was the case that we wanted to get married before purchasing our own house, firstly we are totally happy with where we live right now and also as my parents are ageing I wanted to get married while they can still be with us and enjoy the day. The other main reason why we chose to do it this way is that it would take possibly 5/8 years to save for the house and we could not save for both At the same time where as the wedding has only taken 18 months. We are now free to save for our house. Also I'd worry that once we purchased the house if unexpected bills arose we wouldn't be able to afford the wedding for years and I don't want to be an old bride.
  10.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    we tried to save up before booking anything, but it just wasnt working for us, so we just booked the venue and that gave us the kick up the backside we needed to get things moving, and suddenly we were putting loads aside paying things off where we could and saving for the larger purchases as we went along

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  11.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We managed to save and buy our house in a year so depending on what you can financially afford you might manage to buy a house then save for a wedding very quickly, we have our home now which we have spent money on mainly décor as we were lucky to have a new kitchen in the house and the rest was immaculate, I think once you have your home you have many years to do all you want to do to it and can take your time with things like that and appreciate that your paying a mortgage for something you own. We get married just over 2 years after buying our house xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  12.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are currently renting a house and saving as we go for our wedding. We had not started saving for the wedding when we booked our venue.. We booked and put deposits down on all the big things first and to be honest most of the main things are sorted now so now it's just a question of saving up enough money for when everything needs paying off! Trying to buy as many bits as we can as we go along out of our current account so we don't really notice it so much.

    We do want to buy our own house eventually, though we are lucky that we are set to gain a large sum of inheritance at some point in what probably won't be the not too distant future, so we are not really worrying about saving for a deposit right now. I'm not sure I would want to save for a deposit and a wedding at the same time but then we couldn't afford to do that.. If you can afford to, then why not?

    As for being worried about not being able to afford the wedding once you have your own house to pay for, we pay all our own bills and still manage to save for the wedding at the same time. It can be done :)

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  13.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Agree with Flossie, we were still paying all our bills etc when we were renting and managed to save for our home on top of that X

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  14.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hi Emma
    I haven't read all the other posts but we are in the same position as you. We have booked our wedding for 2017 but are atill living with parents.

    We decided to save for the wedding at home then move out and wait another year before the wedding.

    Our plans to move out are currently early 2016 so by then we will have the money for the house and the wedding. this will leave plenty of time for set backs and to get settled into our house before the wedding.

    It's really hard. We have started a new plan to live at one house for a week and then the other house for the following. This is so much better for us. You know what's going on abd where your going to be sleeping!

    Hope it helps x

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  15.  
    • Mrs W..2B..X
      CommentAuthorMrs W..2B..X
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 3rd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i no people in the same position as you and i think they are finding it quite a struggle to do both. they are both very time consuming and expensive so i would focus on your home first. if you can afford to pay as you go then do it however i did that didnt end up saving as much a month as i thought i would now with the last 6 months im panicking and having to save every single penny i have. good luck with it all. xx
  16.  
    • bride2b90
      CommentAuthorbride2b90
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 4th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We where undecided whether to o for house or wedding first or house we've decided we are going to wed first by paying off wedding and debts then save for a deposit for a new home. We want our new home to be when we are Mr and Mrs. We are paying off the wedding each month the good thing is that I get student loans the the venue is being paid in chunks then our monthly wages are paying everything else off. X

    Members signature icon
    I met my soul mate in school, after chasing him for 18months
    We got together 15th September 06,
    We celebrated our son Jacob 29th October 10,
    He proposed 15th June 14, We marry 09th July 16
  17.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We saved up deposits but haven't saved any of the rest so just paying as we can but had to fork out £3500 on a new heating system so got that and the wedding to pay for now!!
  18.  
    • GemmaS8204
      CommentAuthorGemmaS8204
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 6th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We're in the same situation, I work out We would be able to to save money for Wedding and House by the time the wedding comes round, without any help from parent. Both sets have told us they will be giving us an amount but not how much which is a bonus but that will probably go straight into the house pot. I made sure we could afford both by saving hard as we both live separately with parents, I did underestimate which is fab as I'm ahead with savings. So I think it's what suits you as a couple, also we aren't sure where h2b will be working so can't get a house until we know x
  19.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Getting married in 7 months
      Posted: Mar 6th 2015
      Is poweruserBadgeBadge
     
    Moving into your own house would be easier then planning your wedding from there
  20.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Mar 7th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i think you need to look at the TOTAL you want to save and divide that monthly putting part in the wedding fund and part in the house fund , we opened up a savings account that we both put a set amount in each month and that couldn't be touched for a year
    then look at where you could save money ... does the wedding have to cost as much as 9K ?

    its fine to put deposits down but you still have to be able to pay when the final payment comes round .. did you factor in a honeymoon ?

  21.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 7th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I found it easier to save so much, put down deposits then carry on saving at a rate that I know will cover the outstanding amount.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  22.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 7th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My OH and I forcasted how much we were earning vs how much we could COMFORTABLY save without us having to sacrifice having a social life or a treat now and again. With that we know we can fully pay for our wedding without trouble.

    In regards to your question though. My OH and I bought our house before we got engaged and we managed to save pretty easily for our wedding. That being said our mortgage isn't expensive. Like Lala asks as well, does your wedding have to cost 9k? Have you thought about a different venue or theme to pull back the cost and are you factoring in honeymoon or foregoing that to afford a house?

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  23.  
    • EmmaN66
      CommentAuthorEmmaN66
      Posted: Mar 16th 2015
     
    Thank you for all your comments. They are helpful.

    No the wedding probably won't come to that much. That figure is an estimate looking at how much things cost and tallying up from there. I am looking at ebay for invitations, flowers, table centrepieces. My dress, I will get from a factory outlet, which won't be more than £549, but am looking to pay less than that. Probably won't need transport as I'm trying to find a venue where it can all happen in the same place. I am also looking at a registry office and the na venue, with a view to get caterers in, or having a latish wedding so we can go straight into a buffet, evening thing instead of a sit down meal.

    No I haven't factored in honeymoon, I'm hoping that as we will save a little on the wedding, that money and we will probably set up a honeymoon fund, that people can gift to, will help towards a honeymoon, even if we have to wait a few months before we go.

    Once again, thank you for all your advice.

    Met Dan 2009
    Engaged 2014
    Hope to be Mrs 2017
 
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