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  1.  
    • RachelE118
      CommentAuthorRachelE118
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi all. I really need your help. I'm 44 and marrying for the 2nd time. From the moment he proposed Carl made it clear he wanted a proper wedding. It wasn't my choice but in fairness I'd had my day (20 years ago) and understood why he wanted it so went along.
    Now 8 weeks to go and the nerves and anxiety are crippling me. There are 10 strangers to me at the wedding on his side and he doesn't get why that makes me anxious. Our budget is small but is beginning to go way over and I'm having to be the bad one reigning him in. I've just told him how I feel and although he listened I know he didn't like it when I said I was dreading it and wanted it over but would smile on the day so no one would know how I feel. He's just given me an ultimatum to either get over it or cancel. I'm a bit shocked at his response but honestly don't know what to do.
  2.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    unfortunately on you can answer that, try writing down how you feel and giving it to him to read as sometime emotion gets the better of us when we speak and we dont get out clearly what we want .

    could you meet up with some /all of the people you dont know before at a pub or somewhere you you feel you can relaxed ( and run n hide in the loo if need be )

  3.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with lala. Write him a letter and then see if he's willing to have a chat about it without it causing a huge row. I've done it a few times with my OH (I have quite a short temper and sometimes it's the only way to get my feelings across because he's stubborn).

    I know you've said that you've already had your day, but regardless of whether you've been married before, it's just as much your day as it is his, and you have every right to an opinion on what happens, whose invited etc.

    Hope you get it sorted xx
  4.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    you say he listened but there is a massive difference between listening and hearing .. a lettter they read and re read .... let him then come to you

  5.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think you need to look at ways of eliminating or controlling your anxiety. I think his ultimatum is probably based on it all being organised, and it's only 7 weeks away. Have you had a word with your GP about how you feel. My nerves are starting to grow, especially as my fiance has told me his family can be bitchy etc. I'm also having people at my wedding I don't know. I will have to find a way of dealing with how I feel. It's my day, not theirs.
  6.  
    • RachelE118
      CommentAuthorRachelE118
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We've had a long talk and he's listened. I think a lot of my anxiety are due to his knee op in march with loads of complications and my mums secondary cancer. The wedding just seemed another thing to cope with. Hopefully it's a little blip that will pass. Thanks for your kind words all xxx
 
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