Wedding Forum - Tea and coffee...

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The Big Day > Wedding Etiquette: tea and coffee

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- CommentAuthorCamillaB
as our wedding is creeping closer and closer my inlaws now are starting to poke their nose in a bit!!

starting with the word 'wedding etiquette'.. and how people expect tea and coffee to be served after the meal. Bearing in mind majority of our wedding party are quite young, and based on previous weddings i have been when the tea and coffee does come round most people say 'no thanks'. But looking back it had all been paid for priced on per person.

anyway, my dilemma is i do not want to pay for tea and coffee for everyone as it is an added expense, and it will look odd if the server comes around and just goes to the select family giving them tea or coffee..

what does everyone suggest?
- CommentAuthorCoralLeigh2016
Maybe ask your day guests who would want and who wouldn't? they you could just order as required? Or explain this to your in laws and they can order their own after the meal xxx
- CommentAuthorFlossie
Is it very expensive? I can't actually remember what we were quoted for teas and coffees but I don't think it was that much. You could always just provide for everyone but haggle your venue down - the cost for them to make teas and coffees is practically nothing! xx

Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
- CommentAuthorCamillaB
my fiance suggested that the toast master can announce if they would like tea or coffee to ask at the bar, and then we just pick the bill up the next day.
- CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
That sounds like a good suggestion, that way you are only paying for tea and coffee that has actually been drank, it will probably save you a lot of money. I don't think I would get it because like you a lot of my guests are young or people that I know wouldn't want it, I think only my grandparents would to be honest lol.

Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!

- CommentAuthorFlossie
That's a great suggestion from your OH! I think I would definitely go for that one. They don't necessarily need to ask at the bar either.. someone could just go round all the tables and take the requests and hand that into the bar to save people having to get up. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem! xx

Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
- CommentAuthorFlossie
I must admit I do love a coffee after a meal. Old before my time...

Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
- CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I did pay for tea and coffee after the meal, it was set up in the bar area after the meal whilst they were changing the room for the evening of dancing, I don't think many people had much of it so was a bit of a waste.

Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
- CommentAuthorclairenina
If it's not included in your package, and you don't want it, then don't. Ours was included, but if it wasn't, I would have only added it on it it didn't cost a fortune.
- CommentAuthorCamillaB
thanks girls for your help :) can always relay on you lot!!

i think whats best is to do what my OH said, just say to ask at the bar and we will pick the bill up at the end, OR thinking about this more now, see if we can get it included in our package as a freebie considering we have paid over £5000 to the venue already.. dont ask you dont get heheheh
- CommentAuthorAprilS61
We have been thinking the exact same! The only people that will want teas and coffees will be our parents and maybe a couple of grandparents, so next time we speak to our venue were going to ask to take them out of the package and we will put them on a tab if they are requested.

Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
- CommentAuthorEmmilou82
This is actually a really good point....

I love a coffee after a meal and im only 32 and i know that the older guests will feel the same.

Im with my venue and wedding planner on Sunday and so will get a quote then. Though setting up a tab is a great suggestion :-)

Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
- CommentAuthorbarbie86
We didn't have tea and coffee; we had a tight schedule and didn't feel it was necessary. It was also an extra £4 a head, which, while not crazy expensive, still adds up, esp when I know for certain that at least half our guests wouldn't have had it. Also, a lot of our guests were staying at the venue and there were very good tea and coffee making facilities in the rooms. If anyone had commented I'd have been seriously miffed given that they were treated to canapes, a 3 course meal with lots of choice, 5-6 drinks before and during the meal, and an open bar and large evening buffet, plus cake...

I'd do what you've suggested: try to get it as a freebie, and if not, arrange to cover the cost at the bar for those few who might want it.
- CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
I think tea and coffee is included in ours. I'm not a lover of tea or coffee but H2B likes both.
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
We had tea and coffee after the 3 course meal served with a cheese board and guests dd take advantage of it... I think cos it was something else to have lol

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
Hmmm, not sure it's expected, maybe by some but not everyone will want it. Ours was included in our package but if it wasn't we wouldn't have bothered.

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
If you are asking what is proper etiquette then sending your guests to the bar to ask for it ,deffinately is not !

If you are having a meal with the venue then coffee is normally included in your price per head

Moderator
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- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I don't think you should be sending guests to ask for it either x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
A lot of places serving a formal meal will serve automatically serve tea and coffee after the dessert. If you're having a sit down three course meal it may be that tea and coffee will be included. If not I'd agree, find out if tea and coffee can be served from the bar.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorCamilaL
The venue I'm planning to have is quoting £1.75 for tea and coffee with mint per person. My h2b family loves having tea after meal, my parents love having coffee. So I'm going for it. It's not that expensive...
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
Sounds good.

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
most venues include tea and coffee in your package price but if not, ask your venue for the cost and then ask them to bill you just for the amount of teas and coffees poured after the meal so that you are not paying for drinks that you feel many guests may not want. My personal feeling is that at a wedding while I do not expect a free bar, i do expect a drink of some sort with my meal and to be offered a tea or coffee afterwards. I think it is basic wedding etiquette. I would give up welcome drinks before i gave up the teas and coffees and to be honest I think the tea and coffee acts as a good spacer for a lot of people who are drinking to allow them to take a break from the booze before the party starts xx

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