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  1.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    When we first started planning oh was amazing, was interested in everything even sorted out the date ( which I love) as I was getting in a fuzz about it, but more we've gone on less he's getting involved, and when I mention about stuff now he always brings finances into it :( so making me feel like I can't mention stuff so am just getting on with it myself. But its not what I want. I've tried explaining to him about it but he can't seem to see past the money ATM! I know its expensive but we have scrimped on some things and I search for ours to get things cheaper. So far we have got a very good priced photographer, flowers I didn't really search too much as found a company I felt comfortable with and was the loveliest most helpful lady and a good price ( to me anyway), saved on the hotel by getting year before prices ( saving £3-4 per head 70 at day and 120+ at night. Plus got a free upgrade and my parents room for free as they'll have our little ones. Will also be trying to get some extras in our room too lol. Dress I got 20% off! veil 25% and headpiece 30% so good savings there. Shoes I got half price. Bridesmaid dresses will be less than half price (fingers crossed) and managed to get his suit discounted ( not tht I can buy it as he hasn't confirmed yet!!) I'll also be doing a lot myself to reduce costs but feel I'm doing what I can to reduce the cost but still have the day we both want. As I only plan on doing it once and he already been married and didn't get a choice in first one. But I feel I'm becoming stressed as he's just not there listening and helping :( he has had quite a stressful few yrs with the death of his dad and the court cases with it that we try and attend but I feel that he shouldn't let that stop him getting involved. How can I explain to him about being part of it or should I just get on on my own!
  2.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I can completely understand what you're saying. I'm getting married in Aug and we started down this path in June 2013... at first he was involved in a lot and then he kinda phased out for a while and whenever I spoke about it he mentioned finances also. It's important that someone has a tight hold of the financial reins and he is more number savvy than me. If not for him we wouldn't have gotten the many discounts we have. He had not started getting interested again until recently the closer the wedding is coming which makes me very happy but for a year he was not interested. With the exception of the meal tasting.

    I think we as brides sometimes forget we have been imagining this for a long time (at least I did) whereas a lot of men don't. They see the financial implications and will focus on things differently. Don't take it personally. You still have well over a year before the big day and he will phase back into getting involved but right now... be patient and understanding.

    We're hear to listen to you in the meantime :D

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  3.  
    • T-Nicole
      CommentAuthorT-Nicole
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
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    It is tough I understand I too am in a very similar situation. Seemed so excited at first and now mentions the finances and pretty much lets me get on with it. I tried to challenge him and he just said that in his head it's such a long way off now we have the main things sorted he just wants to relax...
    I completely agree with what the above post says, It's not that he's not interested he's probably prioritising in his head. Men think differently to us.

    Members signature icon
    Met 2011
    Official 09/03/13
    Engaged 21/12/14
    Will be married 27th August 2016
  4.  
    • clair
      CommentAuthorclair
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Men eh? My oh gets intestined in a few things like, the guess list and the venu, date ect. And yes he dose constantly worry about the money. But he didn't pay any attion to the 'little things'. Like centure pieces, we had a idea of what we wanted to invites to look like then it changed silghtky,I showed him and he said they look nice. So when we made all the invites up in the 2nd design when he looked at the he said 'I thought there were going to be the other way' he just didnt pay any attion at all lol.
    Tbh I wouldn't worry about it too much, I think most men worry about the money part. Just mention the little thighs to him, it seams to me you have got most things sorted any way. Just tell him not to panic you know there is a budget and you are doing your best to stick to it. Xx

    Members signature icon
    Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
    Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
    became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
    our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
  5.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
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    Me was never interested in anything. I would say to him what about this, or what about that, the reply was whatever. Then when I said to someone about us not having a traditional top table and that we would just have the kids and us he said, oh do I not get a say in this? I couldn't win.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  6.  
    • clair
      CommentAuthorclair
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Glitterfairy- it's the same with me! I ask him opinions about things and he just says 'what ever' or 'I don't mind'. But when I say some think like 'we are having a butterfly theam' he will say I thought we were having a Scottish theam, then I need to again reply with we discussed the a few times and we age having both!
    Like I say I just think it's men not really bothered about the details. They just want to be involved in the big things. I wouldn't take it personally. Xx

    Members signature icon
    Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
    Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
    became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
    our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
  7.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
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    I think a lot of us have these moments with the oh during wedding planning. Mine was about 10 months ago I really thought I was going to loose the plot with him. However with under 14 weeks to go he is being great. try not to stress too much x
  8.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm so glad I'm not alone of this one and was questioning whether to post as worried I was only one but glad I'm not lol. I've told him how I feel so hoping he'll take bit more notice about something's. I think its mainly his suit that's annoying as its £700ish as is kilt in his family tartan and he needs all of it, and I know he really wanted it but now he saying he doesn't no coz of the cost if it. Where as I think ur only do it once plus he'll have the suit afterwards. I know I go abit ott with some things which is why I want him opinion as I know he'll reign me in for certain things haha. We have all the big bits booked, but I'm trying to get bits here and there so Its easier to pay for rather than leaving it all to last few months x
  9.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
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    Men they'd to get more into it as the time gets closer, it's just a different mindset to us brides, don't panic about it and it will all work out In the end :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  10.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 26th 2015
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    mine didnt have the choice about being involved in ours as he was working in sudan at the time so not around to make decisions ...which worked the other way as he was getting frustrated at only ever having emails and the occasional phone call about stuff

 
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