I actually hate wedding planning right now and could easily cancel the whole thing, I've never felt so stressed in my life. Issues come up, I solve them and then the next day another issue arises or the old one comes back to haunt me.
I've been worrying about times etc for my big day. The church ceremony is at 1pm, I have to be at the reception venue by 3pm, it's a good 30-45 minute drive between each other, ceremony is an hour, photographs. It's all so rushed and I don't want that!
Spoke to the vicar, nothing he can do! Can't bring the ceremony forward anymore and the venue need to get the wedding breakfast started by 4pm and you have to be there an hour before, nothing I can do to change that.
The only option is cancelling the church but h2b is dead against a civil ceremony (not against them really he just doesn't want one for his own wedding) he wants a church ceremony but I'd feel such a hypocrite marrying in a church just because it's closer to the venue and I don't think I will do that, I don't think I could I'd hate every second.
The only other option is marrying at St Mary Redcliffe church, I dunno if anyone has heard of it but it's a pretty famous building. It's incredible, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it, so as you can imagine I have in my head it will just cost an absolute bomb! We haven't got any connection to the church either but I'd rather get married somewhere like that because we love the place so much than just a church because it's close to the venue. Although I know people will still call us hypocrites and say that's wrong. I don't know what to do :-( We'll have to attend St Mary Redcliffe every sunday for 6 months to enrol on there's membership and I really don't mind that at all but it just seem's a little wrong.
Everytime I think something is sorted it goes wrong again and as much as I love my church I feel like I'm being messed around.
I've had a good cry about it to h2b and he really want's to make me happy by doing what ever I want to do but I don't want to make him marry in a civil ceremony because we're having such issues with my church.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I really need to scream and let it all out.
I hate wedding planning and I feel like cancelling the whole lot. All I do on here is moan and rant and rave and I hate it soooo much I want to be happy
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorAmy_Bee
Aww, I don't really know what I can say to help, but didn't want to read and run!
Try to remember the reason this whole day is happening, you will be getting married to the person you love, you'll come out of it Mrs Walker and nothing else matters. I'm sure it won't feel so rushed on the day. All the various people involved in your wedding have experience of making things run smoothly and ensuring you have a perfect stress-free day.
The soon to be "Mrs Bee"
4th August 2012 :)
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
No one is at all happy with the timings though, photographer, reception venue, guests. It's a nightmare, it might seem like a silly little problem but to me it's huge. I have guests travelling across the country to come to my wedding and I'll be having my Ushers literally kicking them out of the church and straight back into there cars to drive to the reception venue. At the moment there's road works on the way to my venue, last night me and h2b we're stuck there for 25 minutes!! That was 8pm on a monday evening, imagine what it would be like on a saturday afternoon and the road work's are expected to continue till december 15th, have no idea what they are doing but looks like a whole new road junction and bridge. I really haven't taken anything into consideration when sorting my venues :-(
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
hmmm it is strange how the venue are putting so much pressure on you for time - is it because they have another function that day?
If they dont then they should be more felxible in my eyes.
Maybe talk to them and see if everyone needs to be there an hour before - and why exactly. Maybe some guests can go there for the hour before and you can spend more time having your photos and arrive only half hour before the dinner.
But yes the day is probably going to fly by and any little thing thats going on thats not exactly to plan will probably go totally unnoticed by you and your H2B.
breath. Relax. Dont ruin the experience of planning with the stress.
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
and dont give in to marrying somewhere you know you will regret because at the end of the day it doesnt really matter if you piss people off - such as photogs or venue (because they are not your friends and they are paid to do a job)
and if any of your guests get annoyed well they should be ashamed as they should be there for you, and not for their own convenience - if that makes sense - they should be happy to be there no matter what!!!
My church has another function in the morning, which has really annoyed me. My florist won't be able to get in and set the flower's and candle up untill 12.30 when my guests will be turning up. My vicar suggested she can set up in the morning but the first wedding will have use of my flowers!
I have exclusive use of my reception venue so there better not be another function, they haven't mentioned anything. I said would it be ok for just guests to be there an hour before and she said they go an hour from the bride and groom arriving. Now I'm fine with that, the reception really isn't my issue. It's the church
:-(
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
I'm expecting my vicar to tell me I need to put the ceremony back later pretty soon, can really see it coming
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
would it really make a massive difference if the wedding before yours has your flowers?
i mean its not ideal because you want everything that you have had for your wedding to be yours and yours alone.
But if it helps with the timing then why not.
As long as the 1st wedding knows that there is a second wedding and that the flowers are actually yours.
But this will only work if the 1st wedding dont have flowers which is unlikely!
or what if - you save some money by using the first weddings flowers? Why not!!
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
Me and h2b said if it come to it we are happy with the first wedding using our flowers but I can only imagine they'd already have there own arranged and I'd be happy to use theres but what if it's the wrong colours etc and if they aren't happy for me to use them. Gosh to me it seems such a mess :-( probably over reacting though
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
you do need to take a step back and think whats the most important things of the day. When you put everything into perspective it may be easier to cope with.
I know its not easy because you just want your day to be perfect - but despite anything thats not 'perfect' your day still will be.
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I would personally ring your venue up and ask why they can't do dinner when you want it after all you are paying for a service and they should be providing it to suit you not them. Tell them that any other venue would bend over backwards to try and sort the problem out. I would personally check your contract to see if you were tied into that time scale or not and see if they are breaching their side of things by not co operating with your timing for the rest of the day. Start off being nice to them but if you don't get any joy see if they have a head office you can contact.
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
Reception venue have just said that as long as the wedding breakfast start's no longer then 5pm and we are there an hour before it's fine, so that's brilliant but it took me saying I'll cancel and just loose my deposit for them to say that. It's just sorting the church and hope they don't want me to change the time to later! If it stays the same then atleast my guests will have a little more time to travel over to the venue and h2b and I can actually have photo's taken and if the road works are still going on then like mentioned I can let guest's know to go the long way round to avoid getting stuck in traffic. I still have the issue of church set up time though and I suppose the only way to sort that is to not have any flowers at all!
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
have you paid a deposit with the church? And if yes did you sign anything with an agreed time on it!?
Because if you have then they should not be able to switch your times without your 100% agreement!!
So try and get something in writing asap.
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
I've paid a deposit but I have no agreement on a set time, it's already been changed by the church twice. I had arranged for 12, they changed it to 2.30, my photographer said no way because of the time of year light etc, so I asked for it to be 12.30 and they changed it to 1pm.
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
There is no need to be there an hour before the food is due to be dished up! How crazy is that. It doesn't take people an hour to go and sit at their seats. You can always do speeches if you are having them in between courses or at the end.
As for the flowers have you asked the vicar if he can give your number to the bride before and then maybe you could share the cost of the flowers so they can be set up in the morning and you can both enjoy them at half price.
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
That is not on! I think whenever you pay a deposit for anything ALWAYS get a written agreement otherwise they mess you around like this!!
How much was the deposit - because if it isnt too much you can always threaten to pull out unless they give you written confirmation.
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
The deposit was 50% of the cost, so £350. I just feel like I've been messed about so much and you don't expect it from a church!
I've emailed the vicar to say I want my time wrote into my contract so it can't change again and he replied saying that they can't do that because they have to allow for any problems that may arise! What ever that bloody means. I'm so fed up with it
Jo, I don't understand it either. I asked why it has to be an hour and she said this is when they will start cooking the meals???????????? The co-ordinator has been fantastic until the whole time issue! Now I feel so confused with it all. I'm not going to change my venue, there's no way but they have to start working with me I'm paying so much money
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
Ok your vicar is not being fair at all ! he is looking after himself by saying that!!
No other business or company would say that and if they did then you would not be happy with them, i dont see why a church should be any different.
I would call him!
emails are too easy for him to make excuses to - think about what you want to say and call him and put him on the spot! he is not playing fair at all!!!!
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
H2B is going down to the church on sunday to speak to him after service, need to get this sorted otherwise I'm just going to cancel and will have to make do with a civil ceremony
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
The things that may arise that he is talking about is for funerals. I would say its the venue that needs to bend a bit with the times and stop being silly about having to be there an hour before they can start cooking. Its nonsense. You are paying for the service so you should have it your way not theirs. It really doesn't make a difference when you arrive as long as you are there and seated by the time the food is dished up. I'm sure if they really wanted to they could ask the chef to stay on an hour later and have dinner at 6!
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
The other option is to have a civil and then a church blessing afterwards......
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
I think that's what we're going to end up doing Jo, Steve is fuming and said to just forget the whole church "crap" were his words.. he's told me to ring the venue back and say we want the ceremony there but we have to have say on the times and if they don't agree they can kiss goodbye to the whole lot :-(
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
I understand that people die and its not planned - but still i think that funerals dont need to be on that particular day or hour - funerals are a lot more flexible dont you think!
Thankfully i will not be having a religious funeral either!! halleliwia!! hehe!!
I want to be cremated and put in a firework and set off to be beautiful in the night sky!
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
I'd be quite upset to think my wedding was being held just after a funeral
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
