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Wedding Forum - So sad :(...

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  1.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 14th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We have recently found out that my h2b uncle ( not uncle but been in family so long is referred to as uncle) has terminal cancer and they haven't been given a length of time but we believe as its terminal its sooner rather than later ;(. We are both really upset that the chances are he won't be at the wedding but we can't change the date or anything and I feel guilty about it :(. I just wish he could have been there on the day as I know it would mean so much to oh but have placed all deposits so can't change dates or re arrange plus can't afford to bring it forward either. Is there anything we could do to include them or are we best just to sit it out and hope for the best? X
  2.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    If you've paid deposits then check with your suppliers and venues but explain the situation because the majority if not all will be willing to accommodate and move your wedding day to this year. We moved our date (several times actually!) for reasons a lot less important than you and they were fine because they knew they'd still get our custom. You can but try. So sorry about him for you all x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Firstly sorry to hear of this. Hugs to you all.

    If he is that close to you both then he will be there with you on the day, whether in spirit or person.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     

    So sorry to hear this, hugs xxx

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  5.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    GF is right, he will still be with you on the day regardless :)

    I'm sorry to hear.. sending you all love and best wishes xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  6.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sorry to hear your news and have to agree with GF xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  7.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We looked into the t&c and can't change the date as so many things are booked as some things will let us change but others won't. I just feel guilty that he won't be there :(
  8.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't think you should be feeling guilty.. it's something that is out of your control and I'm sure he would feel upset and guilty himself if he knew how you were feeling! He will still be with you on your day in spirit.. I think you need to stop stressing yourself out over it and just make sure you all make the most of the time you have left with him xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  9.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      BadgeBadge
     
    Agree 100% with glitterfairy.
    Also with terminal there is no guaranteed time frame, my auntie was told she was terminal but she fought on for another 10 years.
    My nan was given the news yesterday that she has bowel cancer, her only option is an operation to remove it & hope for the best as chemo is not an option :( I HATE CANCER!!
  10.  
    • Myranny
      CommentAuthorMyranny
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm so sorry to hear this, but it doesn't necessarily mean that he won't be there. My grandad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer about... gosh, 4 - 6 months ago. We all thought that was it and that he wouldn't make it to his birthday. He just turned 71. And is alive and kicking, chemo and radio have gone well, and whilst we thought last year would be his last Christmas we're now pretty sure he's going to be around for this one, maybe even next one.

    It's awful, but it's all about how he responds to the treatment offered, his mentality... He may well be there, and it's an awful situation to be in, I really feel for you. But terminal doesn't mean immediate. My great aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer when i was too young to understand what it was, like... 6, 7 maybe? She passed away when I was 13.

    If you feel that strongly that you want him to witness your marriage, could you get married with him as a witness this year at a registry office and then have your big day and celebration next year? My cousin brought her wedding forward from September 15 to Feb 15 because of my grandad. But it's totally up to you. You could have a blessing instead, so it's not a legal marriage, but he gets to be involved? He might not want that kind of fuss, and depending on the kind of man he is, he could even be a little offended that you think he won't make it? It's such a difficult situation to be in, and I really feel for you.

    xx
  11.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Please don't feel guilty.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  12.  
    • DanielleS0709
      CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sorry to hear that. Please don't feel guilty it's out of your control

    Members signature icon
    21st May 2016 xxx


  13.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Got married 18 months ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Dont feel guilty, hugs to you
  14.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 15th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks ladies I'm just guna concentrate on the time we have like you say and what will be will be, he has been told chemo isn't an option due to his kidney so we will just wait and see, think it was just the shock of the news and hopefully once its sunk in we can see what's what x thank you for all your lovely comments x
  15.  
    • beximo86
      CommentAuthorbeximo86
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 17th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    don't feel guilty, I agree with GF and the others that have said that he will be there either in spirit or person. My granddad had prostate cancer at 60 and was told he wouldn't beat it and ended up in remission. He was told he had terminal stomach cancer and had 3-6 months and ended up going 18 months before he passed. Personally, I think a lot of it comes down to the fight of the person, but I know that whilst my nanna and granddad wont be there in person on the day they will be there in spirit. We are having our grnadparents wedding photos and a candle lit on the day and I'm carrying a smaller version of the picture in a charm on my wedding bouquet.
    Whilst we don't ever want to think the worst will happen, there are things that you and H2B can do to incorporate him in your day some way.
    Thinking of you and all the family at this rough time x
  16.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 17th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sorry to hear about this. We are lighting candles in the church to remember those that can't be with us on the day. Perhaps you could do something similar to remember him if he does unfortunately pass away before your day x
 
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