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Wedding Forum - Smoking and h2bs mates rant!...

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  1.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 26th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Don't think I've been this upset so far:
    So h2bs friends who went on his stag do are all having a go at me great!
    I'm not sorry for the status I put up though!
    Found out from some pics that were uploaded that h2b had been smoking all weekend when he quit two years ago and promised me he wouldn't pick another up...and he didn't tell me he'd been doing it either, and made out it was no big deal. Well I've gone schizo mad fuming gutted upset been crying for a bit, told h2b this is the worst thing he's done to me since we got together...I'm absolutely outraged! Then for his friends to say it's no big deal, it's his stag do, he could do worse,ur making him out to be a kid....well I blew my top then as most of them smoke,have tried to quit before and failed so I very fairly stuck up for myself!
    Yes he could have done worse but I feel very letdown by this and the fact he hadn't told me before shows he was trying to hide it! Maybe I'm hormonal cos of pregnancy, but I really think I'm right and I'm very upset by this especially with a baby coming last thing health wise we need is him sparking up again!
    He even claimed it was no big deal...but had told me he would prefer on my hen do if I didn't go on stage at the Adonis in Newcastle which I didn't out of respect to his wishes ... Yet he didn't respect me enough with this.
    He claims only cos of drinking but I've said he's never done it on nights out since he quit so was a lame arse excuse, his friends know he quit so I'm disappointed in them too.... Told h2b I don't wanna see him tonight ... Just got to think of what I can use as a punishment now!
    I feel a little heartbroken tbh
    :-(

    ( I know some will think I'm being stupid, as that's how his mates are trying to make me feel by berating me but I have a strong opinion on smoking and think it's foul and disgusting!)

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  2.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      Posted: Aug 26th 2014
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    im with u my h2b stopped smokin years ago but lit up again before my son was born. i went mental lol its nt so much thst he smoked it was that he lied for so long even tho i knew he did it!

    i hate it its personal choice and obviously it might annoy a few ppl to read it but im with u i cnt stand it 1 bit(i wudnt say to any1 not to smoke tho even h2b i have never told him he cnt he stopped as he moved out of his mams and realised he had clean smelling clothes and felt better as he cud go a week without one wen staying at mine) eventually he stopped and he hates being at his mams now literaly u walk in her house n out in 5 mins ya absolutly liftin of smoke!
  3.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 26th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'm with you two, my partner never writ buy got down to two a week, when he was working to let of a bit of stress which I respected, then when he started his new job could sense a change in him, and would randomly go out for a walk and would come back and I could smell it and say you've had a SIG which he would deny which made me more mad than the fact he had smoked. I have trust issues and the lying upsets me more.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  4.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
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    I'm with you too. He and his friends should have been more respectful. I think you may need to take some time and calm down, so you can explain to him why you're upset without getting angry.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  5.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I completely understand where you are coming from, especially with you being pregnant and having 3 young girls at home which is definitely not on as that will affect you regardless if it was only when he was out! But at the same time, you are barely 2 weeks away from getting married and something you've been planning for a very long time, you are also obviously pregnant with a child very cherished and loved by you both I'm sure so planning a punishment is something that is only going to hurt you both especially with precious few days to go. You want to enjoy this time and have as little stress as possible. I know it's easy to say but sit down with him, talk it through and maybe just for this time, let it go as you have more important things to worry about - Your wedding, your baby and your girls :) xx

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  6.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would be furious too if I was in your situation but I think that perhaps being pregnant is making you feel more upset than you might do usually, thats not to say that you aren't in the right cos you totally are. Just try to stay calm and explain to him calmly exactly why you are angry and exactly why it isn't 'no big deal'. To be fair though it was his stag do and he probably thought he would push his luck and his friends probably encouraged him. As long as you make it clear that it isn't going to be tolerated if he thinks he is going to pick up from where he left off on his stag then I am sure you can sort it out... :)
  7.  
    • Becky1608
      CommentAuthorBecky1608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
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    I'd be annoyed too if he'd successfully quit previously especially with you being pregnant. Maybe just try and have a calm conversation with him and explain how let down you feel xxx

    Members signature icon
    29/09/2008 - The Day we met
    12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
    04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
    08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
  8.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
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    I understand why you're annoyed.. he should have respected your wishes just like you respected his. But I agree with what OATB said above that there's no point 'punishing' him because you are so close to getting married and you have the added stress of the kids and having another one on the way.. there's no point dragging it out, kiss and make up, forget about it and move on. He knows how much it has hurt and upset you so hopefully that will be it now and it won't happen again. I think you need to allow a little freedom on his stag night and not give him tooooo much of a hard time - that doesn't mean I'm sticking up for him and saying what he did was right, but it was clearly a one off and I'm sure the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. He was just having a good time with his friends.

    I hope you're feeling a little calmer about it this morning and you manage to sort it out. x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  9.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I completely understand. My husband gave up smoking years ago, and after promising me he wouldn't touch another, I discovered he once did. I felt after making a promise, it was a personal betrayal.
  10.  
    • kjl87
      CommentAuthorkjl87
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
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    I'm absolutely dreading my partners stag night because he is very easily influenced by others and what they get upto after a couple of drinks. He doesn't smoke but guaranteed he will that night, just dreading other stuff he might do if certain people are there.
  11.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    sending you a massive hug, sounds like you need it xxx
 
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