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  1.  
    • SarahD821
      CommentAuthorSarahD821
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
     
    Please help need advice. My younger sister was round tonight and I was showing her songs we had been considering using in the wedding. We are not close but it was nice to be spending time with her. She kept being rude to all our choices (which wasn't very nice to begin with but I didnt say a word, we had been having a nice night). Then suddenly I was playing a song when she turned round and shouted no you cant use this. I said that it wasn't her place to tell us what we could not do at our wedding. And she replied that we could not use it as she wanted to use it (she's not engaged or anything), I jokeily said was she going to be one of those brides that gets processive over things and that we could both use the song. I dont mind at all on these things. And she turned round and said completely seriously she would not come to our wedding if we used that song and if we used it was to spite her. I said if we used it, it was because we both liked the song and nothing to do with her but if she asked instead of demanding and threating to not come to wedding then we would promise not to use it. She refused and said no you just won't use it and that she had always wanted to use it. I said I did not know this and all she had to do was ask instead of threaten us but she kept being really rude and we had to ask her to leave our house. I'm so upset my own sister would threaten me about not coming to our wedding, she's more important than a song even if we love it and if she had just asked instead of snapping and threatening I would happily let her have the song. And if I'm honest I doubt I would use the song after this as it wouldn't feel right. I now don't want her to know anything about our wedding, she obviously is invited but I'm so upset I don't want her to know any planning. Am I overreacting or was I in the wrong.
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    No you're not overreacting at all - she's the one who has overreacted! You had been kind enough to share a part of your wedding planning with her by playing some songs to her and the way she has reacted is just rude and totally out of order in my opinion. She may have wanted to have that song at her wedding, but considering she is not even engaged (she may never even get married?) she should have been mature, swallowed her pride and not made the whole thing about her, instead remembering it is YOUR day and you can therefore do whatever you want! Sounds like she is used to getting her own way and throws her toys out of the pram when she doesn't or when people stand up to her?

    I don't blame you for not wanting to involve her with any of the other wedding planning. If she's going to act like that then she doesn't deserve to be involved. If she was my sister she would be lucky if she was even still invited to the wedding after threatening me and acting like a spoilt brat!! x

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    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    FutureMrsP pretty much covered it. If my sister pulled out the "I'm not coming then" I would just calmly say "Pretty silly reason not to come, but ok, will miss you but it's your choice"

    No way did you overreact. It's a blinking song and if only she is entitled to it well she better get in the global phone line because I can guarantee someone else has.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
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  4.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    Have the song you want, it's your day... If she doesn't come then that's her problem, at least you will save some money then lol

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  5.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    jesus christ, tell the petty little brat to grow up.

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  6.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    ^^^ love that post, haha.

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    18th June 2016
    xx
  7.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    Wow - I am completely shocked that she reacted like that, it's completely crazy :/

    She was completely over reacting, she isn't even engaged.. that's crazy, IF she ever does get married she may have changed her mind about wanting to use the song or her fiancé might not like it. Plus even if she does like it she has no right to tell you not to use it, that's mental.... it's like kicking off because someone has named their baby a name you like when your not pregnant or planning on having a baby anytime soon :/




  8.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    I agree, she is really over-reacting. Even if she has always had that song in mind it doesn't give her exclusive rights. By the time she gets married people might have forgotten you had it. I would never have objected if one of my brothers had opted for music that I thought I would use. I'd almost be tempted to use the song to see if she really means it, but obviously you don't really want her not to come. Can you talk to her after a little bit of time has passed and she has calmed down, to say that you really didn't feel that her response is acceptable, but you are willing not to use the song if it means that much to her? Or can your parents or another sibling point out to her that she is over-reacting?

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  9.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    Can I ask how old she is? That really sounds like something a 14 year old girl would do :/ When she's the one planning her own wedding then she can react to whatever she likes but that's just ridiculous. I really hope she's not a grown woman! Bit petty if you ask me. Tell her to get over herself and stop being a drama queen over a song or her sisters wedding!

    You could either:

    Say you're having the song and tell her you'll show her the photos (hah! )

    Or say you've changed the song then play it anyway. What's she gunna do, leave half way through the wedding?

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  10.  
    • AmyK
      CommentAuthorAmyK
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    But what are the chances that if she does get married that she'll find a song she likes even more than the current one and doesn't end up using it?
    She's a brat - get her told!




  11.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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      edited
     
    Wow what a immature little brat.

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    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
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  12.  
    • SarahD821
      CommentAuthorSarahD821
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
     
    Thanks everyone for your replies. Sadly she's not a kid or even a teenager she's 23. The more I think about it the more I'm upset by it all. I never thought We would ever asK someone to leave our house but she was just so rude. Said to her at least 7 times that if she really wanted the song she could have it but that she had to ask us instead of threatening us, but she could not bring herself to be nice. Currently only me and my partner and her knows what's happened I don't know if I should say anything to anyone else or not. Either way I can't currently even think of seeing her for awhile as I don't know how to deal with her over this. I was hoping for a text or something today but nothing. I just can't believe this has happened I would never get like this over someone else's wedding especially my own sisters.
  13.  
    • AmyK
      CommentAuthorAmyK
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    With behaviour like that I hope she's not your bridesmaid... :-/




  14.  
    • SarahD821
      CommentAuthorSarahD821
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
     
    No not a bridesmaid luckily. I have 3 sisters and i didnt want include 1 and not others I thought it was best to not have any of them. Couldn't afford 3 bridesmaid and my little girl as flower girl as well. So im just having a close friend and our little girl. Feeling very glad that I did this now.
  15.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
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    Personally I would say something to someone else, either your mum or one of your other sisters. Especially considering you are still upset yourself (and rightly so) I'm not saying do it to have a go or get people against her, but just so someone else can give you their view on it as well (but someone involved in all of your lives and not just outsiders looking in) They may either give you an idea why she may have acted so immaturely (even though there is no excuse, maybe she has something going on that you don't know about) or at least can speak to her and explain how she was bang out of order and has upset you.

    I wouldn't want to see her either if I were you, I'd def want an apology at the very least.




  16.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 19th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I totally agree with all the comments made on here

    she does owe you an apology, if she doesn't give you one then i dont know what is going through her head, she needs to think about her behaviour and be asking for you to forgive her behaviour,
    lets hope this happens
    xx hugs for you xx
  17.  
    • JasminH9
      CommentAuthorJasminH9
      Posted: Aug 26th 2014
     
    Oh, I feel for you. Its the last thing you need when you have a wedding to plan. Just remember people get jealous when there not going to be the centre of attention and people just act rude. Good luck don't let her spoil anything x
  18.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2014
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    how is everything going Sarah ?
  19.  
    • SarahD821
      CommentAuthorSarahD821
      Posted: Sep 3rd 2014
     
    Sorry for late reply, I've not heard anything from her. I kept hoping for a sorry of some kind but had nothing. I swear shes not speaking to me. The only contact I've had from her was on my sons first birthday when she left a post on Facebook saying he has a present round our mums house, she didn't even put happy birthday to him and he had no card and his present wasn't even wrapped. Maybe I'm reading too much into it all. I do know however that she's been going round telling people I'm the favourite (which is such a stupid thing to say especially at her age) I also know she's been acting bratty with other people. My stepdad was taking her skiing in jan and she recently asked of her boyfriend could come. He said that as it was already booked they would have to talk to travel agents and he would have to pay his flights. And she turned round and started saying if he couldn't come she may be busy and couldn't understand why they were upset. (And for the record none of the rest of us siblings were going skiing so just shows the whole favourite thing is rubbish)
    Me and my partner still not sure how to deal with her but have decided she is to know no wedding details so she can't find something else to blow up over.
  20.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 3rd 2014
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    is there an underlying issue causing her to lash out :s she seems to be overreacting quite badly, unnecessarily... don't meant to start scare mongering, but is everything ok (her wellbeing)with her boyfriend?

    Or is she simply just a spoilt brat? Just trying to gauge whether this is typical behaviour for her because if it isn't there might be something going on

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  21.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 3rd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    That is crazy!!! My BMaid is exactly the same though so i'm not shocked by it. Shes getting married 9 months before me and can make some rude comments and digs about my wedding - however i love her too much to take her seriously eventhough its making H2B have doubts about her intentions - I wouldnt of expected that from my sister though, no matter how close you are/arent - shes family its always going to sting when smething like this happens. Just keep yourself busy and I'm sure she'll come to her senses over her attitude. On the flip side my sister used mine and one of my ex's songs as her first dance (we were together at the time) i just let her carry on. Whats going to mean something to 1 person or 1 couple wont mean the same to another. xx

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