Wedding Forum - Sister vs song...

Please help need advice. My younger sister was round tonight and I was showing her songs we had been considering using in the wedding. We are not close but it was nice to be spending time with her. She kept being rude to all our choices (which wasn't very nice to begin with but I didnt say a word, we had been having a nice night). Then suddenly I was playing a song when she turned round and shouted no you cant use this. I said that it wasn't her place to tell us what we could not do at our wedding. And she replied that we could not use it as she wanted to use it (she's not engaged or anything), I jokeily said was she going to be one of those brides that gets processive over things and that we could both use the song. I dont mind at all on these things. And she turned round and said completely seriously she would not come to our wedding if we used that song and if we used it was to spite her. I said if we used it, it was because we both liked the song and nothing to do with her but if she asked instead of demanding and threating to not come to wedding then we would promise not to use it. She refused and said no you just won't use it and that she had always wanted to use it. I said I did not know this and all she had to do was ask instead of threaten us but she kept being really rude and we had to ask her to leave our house. I'm so upset my own sister would threaten me about not coming to our wedding, she's more important than a song even if we love it and if she had just asked instead of snapping and threatening I would happily let her have the song. And if I'm honest I doubt I would use the song after this as it wouldn't feel right. I now don't want her to know anything about our wedding, she obviously is invited but I'm so upset I don't want her to know any planning. Am I overreacting or was I in the wrong.

FutureMrsP pretty much covered it. If my sister pulled out the "I'm not coming then" I would just calmly say "Pretty silly reason not to come, but ok, will miss you but it's your choice"

No way did you overreact. It's a blinking song and if only she is entitled to it well she better get in the global phone line because I can guarantee someone else has.

jesus christ, tell the petty little brat to grow up.

Wow - I am completely shocked that she reacted like that, it's completely crazy :/

She was completely over reacting, she isn't even engaged.. that's crazy, IF she ever does get married she may have changed her mind about wanting to use the song or her fiancé might not like it. Plus even if she does like it she has no right to tell you not to use it, that's mental.... it's like kicking off because someone has named their baby a name you like when your not pregnant or planning on having a baby anytime soon :/

Can I ask how old she is? That really sounds like something a 14 year old girl would do :/ When she's the one planning her own wedding then she can react to whatever she likes but that's just ridiculous. I really hope she's not a grown woman! Bit petty if you ask me. Tell her to get over herself and stop being a drama queen over a song or her sisters wedding!

You could either:

Say you're having the song and tell her you'll show her the photos (hah! )

Or say you've changed the song then play it anyway. What's she gunna do, leave half way through the wedding?

Wow what a immature little brat.

With behaviour like that I hope she's not your bridesmaid... :-/

Personally I would say something to someone else, either your mum or one of your other sisters. Especially considering you are still upset yourself (and rightly so) I'm not saying do it to have a go or get people against her, but just so someone else can give you their view on it as well (but someone involved in all of your lives and not just outsiders looking in) They may either give you an idea why she may have acted so immaturely (even though there is no excuse, maybe she has something going on that you don't know about) or at least can speak to her and explain how she was bang out of order and has upset you.

I wouldn't want to see her either if I were you, I'd def want an apology at the very least.

Oh, I feel for you. Its the last thing you need when you have a wedding to plan. Just remember people get jealous when there not going to be the centre of attention and people just act rude. Good luck don't let her spoil anything x

Sorry for late reply, I've not heard anything from her. I kept hoping for a sorry of some kind but had nothing. I swear shes not speaking to me. The only contact I've had from her was on my sons first birthday when she left a post on Facebook saying he has a present round our mums house, she didn't even put happy birthday to him and he had no card and his present wasn't even wrapped. Maybe I'm reading too much into it all. I do know however that she's been going round telling people I'm the favourite (which is such a stupid thing to say especially at her age) I also know she's been acting bratty with other people. My stepdad was taking her skiing in jan and she recently asked of her boyfriend could come. He said that as it was already booked they would have to talk to travel agents and he would have to pay his flights. And she turned round and started saying if he couldn't come she may be busy and couldn't understand why they were upset. (And for the record none of the rest of us siblings were going skiing so just shows the whole favourite thing is rubbish)
Me and my partner still not sure how to deal with her but have decided she is to know no wedding details so she can't find something else to blow up over.

That is crazy!!! My BMaid is exactly the same though so i'm not shocked by it. Shes getting married 9 months before me and can make some rude comments and digs about my wedding - however i love her too much to take her seriously eventhough its making H2B have doubts about her intentions - I wouldnt of expected that from my sister though, no matter how close you are/arent - shes family its always going to sting when smething like this happens. Just keep yourself busy and I'm sure she'll come to her senses over her attitude. On the flip side my sister used mine and one of my ex's songs as her first dance (we were together at the time) i just let her carry on. Whats going to mean something to 1 person or 1 couple wont mean the same to another. xx