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  1.  
    • ShannonK05
      CommentAuthorShannonK05
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    Hi everyone, I have a question to ask... I am having four adult bridesmaids, two junior bridesmaids and two flower girls. Two are friends, three are my cousins and three are H2b's nieces. H2b has an older sister who is 29... She has four children of her own and although there are no problems between us, we have just never been close. We live in different countries and haven't had the opportunity to know each other. Okay so a couple of days ago it was brought to my attention that it is tradition to have the groom's sister (if he has one) as bridesmaid... It hadn't even crossed my mind that I should maybe ask her. I understand that it's tradition blah blah but I'm already having her three daughters as flower girls, am I expected to have her as bridesmaid too? I'm not scared to put my foot down and say no, I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing first :) thanks ladies x

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  2.  
    • natg85
      CommentAuthornatg85
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    I'm not having my H2B's sister as my bridesmaid. If you aren't close then I don't see why you should. Carry on with what you had planned. :-)
  3.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    i didn't have either of mr lalas sisters ... if you want to include her why not ask her to do a reading ?

  4.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    I would carry on as planned - especially as her 3 daughters are BM's anyway. Lala's idea is a good one ;-) xx
  5.  
    • ShannonK05
      CommentAuthorShannonK05
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    Hmmm that is a good idea asking her to do something like that! Just one problem though, she's Portuguese and her English is awful. Not sure a reading would go down well with her! Trying to think of other roles which don't involve public speaking! Any ideas?

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  6.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    You don't have to include her, especially as you've included her daughters. What about female usher? H2B's cousin had the groom's sister as female usher. When I was asked to be bridesmaid for my twin brother I was really surprised, it hadn't occurred to me that the groom's sister would be asked. When my younger brother got engaged I didn't assume it; I wasn't surprised to be asked but I wouldn't have been offended if I hadn't been.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  7.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    I asked SIL2b and she said she would prefer to contribute to the day in a different way. So she is in composing and arranging some pieces for her quintet to play while we are signing the register etc :)

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    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  8.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    It's not tradition as far as I'm aware... All I would say is when I asked my now sil to be my bm it was the worst thing I ever did. She's 21 and my 2 yr old fg was more well behaved. Said sil wanted to go home for a shower and get changed and I asked her not to get changed as is spent a lot of money on her outfit etc etc. she went home for a shower and under duress came back in the dress. Her dad drove her home from far side of Liverpool to near southport (45 mins each way) they missed our first dance too... She then spent the night in the bar crying and calling me a b!tch to anyone who would listen. There was a lot of other dramas that happened along the planning way that I'm now at the point where I can't be doin with her.
    If I could do it all again I wouldn't chooses bridal party until 6 months before the wedding. You certainly find out who your true friends are...
    Good luck xxx

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    Ill marry my hero


  9.  
    • *The NewMrsMalin*
      CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    I'm only sticking with my 2 bridesmaids. H2b did ask if his sister could be one but I said no as at that point; the dresses e.t.c had already been brought; plus he has three sisters and three brothers so couldn't ask everyone :S

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  10.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    Its not a tradition to have ohs sisters as BMS, its tradition that your side of family is in bridal party.

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    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
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  11.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    Have who you like as bridesmaids, traditions shouldn't dictate anything (unless it's a law)
  12.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    It's something that is becoming accepted as a good way of unifying families. It makes something of the fact that you and the groom's sister are becoming part of the same family. The equivalent is that my H2B is having both my brothers as ushers. It's not necessary though, and certainly shouldn't be a priority. I certainly never assumed that I would be, and would have been quite happy just providing music.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  13.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    Though my SIL2b is going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding (I am only having 3BMS and 1 FG) I always say, it's up to you. There is no written rule as to how you go about your wedding apart from the legal stuff. If she wants to be involved then ask her if she wants to do a reading or have her as an usher, yes yes I know those are usually men but why not? She could partner up with any men doing the ushering as well and make it a bit more fun. These days tradition is a loose term. You have men of honour and best women.

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    Met in Nov 2005
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  14.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    Nope, i didn't have hubby's sister as bridesmaid, her eldest daughter who was 3 at the time was flower girl x

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  15.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    My H2B's Sister is going to be a witness at our wedding. When my Sister got married she couldn't afford to have me and my sisters (there's 4 of us) and my bro in law's sister as bridesmaids, so me and bro in law's sister were witnesses and my 2 younger sisters were ushers. My half sis and my sister's goddaughter were flowergirls
  16.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    It's not tradition at all. The bride has her bridal party which consists of people close to her - so her friends and her family. The groom then has ushers etc from his family and friends that are close to him!

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    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  17.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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      edited
     
    It definitely is tradition to ask your own sister and h2bs sisters if he has any,I've read it in lots of wedding magazines etc ... I think just ask who you want,I'm having h2bs two sisters but mainly because we really do get on... But I'm not having my own sister (long story but we fell out for 6months,and I got engaged in that time,booked the venue,and had asked my bridesmaids before we made up) ...so I'm having h2bs two sisters,and two friends who have always been very supportive,alongside my 3 daughters as flowergirls x

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  18.  
    • GemmaR81
      CommentAuthorGemmaR81
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    My sil2b has decided she is not coming to the wedding so she won't be BM xxx




  19.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
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    I think that it is your choice. Although it is tradition if you are not close then don't feel pressured to. My oh sister is going to be my bridesmaid but we are close she is like my own little sister so I wouldn't have it any other way. X
  20.  
    • RachelW22
      CommentAuthorRachelW22
      Posted: May 22nd 2014
     
    My h2b has 3 sisters all between the ages of 25 and 32 and i aint having any of them as bridesmaids as i am having their daughters as bridesmaids and flowergirls and they dont mind at all.
 
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