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  1.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    this is just a rant about nothing in particular, Im just feeling the stresses of wedding planning now, to the point ive actually checked the cancellation clause in my contract for the venue!

    sick of the cost and people saying you cant do this, you cant do that, you cant have this, you need to have that, that's a stupid idea, The boys cant wear that, that doesn't need taking in (YES IT DOES) im not wearing this, I wouldn't be seen dead in that (tough sh1t) you have to have table wine people will expect it. I DONT CARE. Well, we'll pay for it. NO you won't, I don't WANT it.

    it feels like its becoming about what everyone else wants/expects/requires and less about what we actually want... well, toms not bloody arsed either way. and don't get me wrong, im not a push over and il do it my way or no way, but this endless stream of negativity whenever we suggest something SUGGEST not set in stone, SUGGEST, not only makes me want to do it all the more, like a petulant child, but really starts to wear you down.

    Not to say people, or more specifically, person in question hasn't helped or anything, but I just don't think she/they realise how it is they come across sometimes and its really getting my goat now. Just a simple conversation about the wedding feels like hard work at the moment. my mums on holiday as well, so I cant even ring her for a moan

    Im just in a bad fooking mood, and its giving me insomnia, which is making me in an even worse mood.

    Oh, and you can't go here or there or do this or that for the honeymoon.

    WHOSE WEDDING IS THIS? COULD SOMEONE PLEASE CARE TO LET ME KNOW!?

    If I hear, you cant have a traditional wedding dress and not do everything else traditional ONE. MORE. TIME!

    *flips table*

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  2.  
    • MrsH
      CommentAuthorMrsH
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Aw I'm so sorry you feel this way :(

    Can you take a few weeks off wedding planning, maybe you and H2B go away for a weekend or something and just forget about the whole thing for a while and then come back to it with a fresh head? It must be horrible feeling that way.

    Do you have to discuss everything with everyone? Can you and H2B not keep it to yourselves until it is set in stone and then tell everyone what is happening not ask for their opinion?

    I really hope it gets better for you, otherwise it might spoil our day xx
  3.  
    • natg85
      CommentAuthornatg85
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Is poweruserBadgeBadge
     
    In my view you can do what you want and everyone else can sod off!

    Maybe you need to make a point to people and let them know it is your choice!
  4.  
    • RachelE118
      CommentAuthorRachelE118
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Deep breath chick. I think we all go through some kind of crisis around the 4/5 month time. I guess it's when it's too early to get excited. Do things YOUR way and what makes you happy. Stand your ground whilst smiling angelically.
    And as for 'traditional' I'm getting married for the second time with my teenaged son giving me away. The day time is a vintage afternoon tea. And my mother? Is telling people it's an 'alternative' wedding!! I'm wondering about sacrificing a goat or a virgin if she really wants alternative!! Xx
  5.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    cant really afford to go away because of this ar$e hole wedding!

    I plan on not saying a word now, believe me! ive had the sense to not mention the music im walking down the aisle to, didnt expect the kick off about the table wine though, and the retort to that was 'why you having such an expensive photographer, but not giving people wine with their meals?' BECAUSE I WANT GOOD PICTURES TO LOOK BACK ON OVER PAYING TO GET PEOPLE DRUNK.

    Oh, i came on my period yesterday as well, which is only amplifying this horrendous mood.

    i feel abit better for ranting about it tbh..... just getting really annoying now as really, its nothing major, its all just little things that are building up and really starting to peck my head now.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  6.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    thanks for reading my moan girls, it does help having an outlet here!

    we practically had a full blown row over the table wine nat lol, i wont back down...i accept constructive critisism, or offers of compromise alternatives, but not flat out WAI YOU DO THIS!!!??!

    i think i need several gulps of wine, Rachel haha. i might suggest the sacrificial idea myself lol, might as well go all out, seeing as everyones trying to rain on my parade lol *bangs head against wall*

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  7.  
    • MrsH
      CommentAuthorMrsH
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Just remember what the day is about! Nobody in that room is more important that you and H2B.

    Even going out for lunch or planning a weekend in the house. Don't leave the house at all and just watch some films, have a bath spend some time remembering why you are doing this wedding.

    You have 5 months which is plenty of time- we did our whole wedding in that time so I'm sure you will be ok to take a few weeks off!

    We're all here to listen to you!
  8.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Not like u to stress twinny! :-)
    I know exactly how you feel tho, I get it too...makes u wonder why anyone bothers and don't just do a Gretna green jobby!x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  9.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I know! wish we'd just buggered off somewhere now, my mum was right when she said go get married abroad! argh!

    think we gunna go cinema this weekend, providing we are not too skint.... ugh

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  10.  
    • Susie
      CommentAuthorSusie
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    awwww Velcro, am in a very similar situation but have recently had to say to said people to keep their traps shut from now on because this is OUR wedding not theirs. WE want a traditional dress and nice cake and WE want it to go along with our damask colours and Doctor Who accessories. And WE love the atmosphere we have come up with. YOU are coming to enjoy free food and dance, oh AND TO CELEBRATE OUR MARRIAGE...See that word? OUR? Not YOURS! lol

    You have what ever you want Velcro, do not include them in any more of your plans. They can go for a long walk off a short pier.
  11.  
    • VickyB70
      CommentAuthorVickyB70
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I feel exactly the same. Was quite happy bimbling along and was really enjoying the planning but the last month has been really hard. I feel like no-ones interested and people are pulling out of my hen do among other things. Its funny how things don't bother you then all of a sudden one thing too many happens and you burst into tears (yes that was me today). But thank god for h2b, let all my worries out on him, he gave me a massive pep talk and then when we got home from work gave me a huge cuddle and now i feel much better! I thought to myself sod everyone else this about the two of us. Hope you feel better soon x
  12.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Take a breather and walk away from planning for a week or two and tell everyone that for a few days you do not want to discuss the wedding. I hated it in the first few months my sister and mum were driving me mad. If people feel the need to give you an opion smile and nod and listen to what they have to say and say to them there are some really valid ideas in what you have said and i will take them in to consideration when me and my fiance make the final decision on that aspect of our day. Your opinion will help us to really make the right choice and leave it at that don't let them turn it in to an agrument or a way to stress you out xx
  13.  
    • Sonya
      CommentAuthorSonya
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
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    Aw poo! Really winds me up when people stick their (unwanted) oar in!!

    You know what I would do - not tell this person another single thing about what you're doing or plan to do

    If the day you're planning is the day you and h2b want then fook what other people say/want, who will be the ones looking back in 1, 5, 10 years time?! You two and if you don't do it your way, you will regret it

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!


  14.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    im not saying another word! and when they moan they arent involved, well, they only have themselves to blame! and yup, il just smile and nod my head at any unwanted comments too!

    i know what you mean vicky, everything seems to of just exploded lol

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  15.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Awww gun ignore them, if you can don't even tell them what your doing, say its a surprise.
    I had this a first with our WHO theme, but me an the Mr showing a united front and saying quite a few times its what we want, its our day seems to have shut them up for a while, dunno if it will start back up nearer the time, but everything should more or less done by then so they can't change it.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  16.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
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    Why should you pay for your guests to drink wine? You're not going to see the benefit. If you're not bothered about having table wine for yourself then everyone else can lump it. Most people won't expect it anyway, they'll head for the bar if they want a drink. I would have prioritised the photographer too. As it happens we have table wine with the package from the hotel, but otherwise I would have been asking people to sort their own drinks and just providing water.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  17.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    At the end of the day it's your wedding and you do it your way. If you don't want wine on the tables it's not a hardship for people to buy a bottle to have with their meal themselves. My Stepsister didn't have wine on the tables at her civil partnership ceremony last year. Mostly because it was expensive. She had bottles of juice instead.

    I've tried not to say anything about our wedding in front of FMIL, especially as H2B's Sister was planning her wedding at the same time (she got married last Saturday). I had FMIL dropping hints about 'discussing the guest list' on the way to FSIL's hen weekend! I told her straight that the extra people that she wanted on the guest list (that she conveniently mentioned to H2B when I wasn't around) are on there already. Now that FSIL's wedding is out of the way she'll probably want to stick her oar in and there'll be lots of comparisons going on, but I've told H2B that it's my way or no way and if she doesn't like it then tough!
  18.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I got a price for the wine and it was £17+ vat per bottle so like..... Pffffffft not a chance

    He wants to go round on sat to discuss the wedding and I really CBA because it will just be an ear full again, he can cop for it this time, il just smile and nod my head.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  19.  
    • clair
      CommentAuthorclair
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Bless ya! I can imagine it can get very stressful towards the last few monts (tbh I am in the early stages of planningy wedding and have found a lot of it stressful already!). I have just had to put my foot down and be a complete bridezilla and say we wabt it a cirtain way so it will be that way. I have upset my mum a little but I just think if I don't have it my way I will regret it. I know it is easer said then done but try and stick to your guns. It is your day u say do what u want! Xxx

    Members signature icon
    Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
    Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
    became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
    our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
  20.  
    • MandaNanda
      CommentAuthorMandaNanda
      Posted: Apr 10th 2014
     
    Smile, listen, agree, and then do whatever the f you want to do anyway, what are they gonna do? walk out mid wedding? People say all this stuff that you absoloutly have to do, and you dont, and on the day, it's not criticism, it's 'ooohhh, isn't that unique' 'oooh thats soo you' and 'ooohhh i'd never of thought of that but that works really well'. Madness, utter madness.
    Why are people so insistent that you have to have the exact same wedding as everyone else, (your allowed to change the flowers and colours from what I gather, but change anything more than that...) On one (of hopefully many) of the happiest and love filled days of your life, why on earth are you so forbidden from letting your own personality shine through and having fun?

    ugh. Sod internet hugs, hear is an internet tequila.
  21.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ooh tequila lol :D he's finally decided he wants to talk wedding, and I'm like great.....I really don't hahahaha

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  22.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
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    The first thing we said when we got engaged was that above all the wedding would be OUR day and we would do it how WE want and not how everyone expects it to be. We're on a small budget and our main priority is that it's a relaxed, chilled out and enjoyable day. We're only having 34 day guests, not getting married until 5.30pm so we're missing the wedding breakfast altogether and going straight into the evening do with a buffet and disco. I'm sure there'll be people who think it's wrong or aren't happy about one thing and another but quite frankly I couldn't care less - it wouldn't matter to me if we got married at the bus stop and just went for a pint at the local afterwards!!!!! I suppose we're quite lucky in that my mum and his mum don't really get involved unless we ask. Stick to your guns hun, it's supposed to be an enjoyable experience (planning and the day). Stuff everyone else and don't let it ruin things for you xxx
  23.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    ive done it all my own way and taken ideas on board etc...its just when you get the endless earache about it.... ugh

    ive woken up with determination today though, im cracking on with wedding flowers and im ignoring any negativity....and telling the snarky remarks that pop up in my head to go away. balls to it. im going to end up really hating this wedding if i dont get out of my grump..... if they want to pay hundreds of pounds for table wine, well, let them. im not paying for it. it just feels like its a 'keepign up with the joneses' kinda thing. i have nothing to prove and i think thats what has got my goat. my friend is insisting on helping with favours, and has thrown loads of ideas my way and ive seen some fab candlabras on ebay. im sure they will have something to say about them but sod it. *I* like them and if the price is right, im HAVING them.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  24.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    You go girl! Lol :o)
  25.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    so the saga continues, apparently im selfish and doing everything I want, and doing it myself, with no thought to what everyone else wants???? despite as saying above when I have tried with the involvement thing, I just get I don't like this that, the other...?

    It pretty much became a character assassination. I do things on my own, I always have. if ive got a job to do I just get on with it, I don't delegate. I just do. that's just the way I am? I do apologise if that's not what you want?!?!

    anyway, after that (and don't worry, I stood up for myself) I give up. we did have a look at the budget see what we could sort out, discussed what we wanted and whatnot (me and him, when we got home, not anyone else) but even after having a good wedding talk. its tainted now. I don't want to do it. ive told him I want to cancel it. hes asked me to wait a week, give myself time to calm down. which ive agreed to. but as far as im concerned its been ruined. id rather lose a couple of grand in deposits than spend thousands more and not want the day. id rather just f*ck it all off and just get married on our own somewhere.

    I want the marriage, but not the wedding

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  26.  
    • CarineR
      CommentAuthorCarineR
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Oh dear, that sounds like your family is really giving you a hard time. I know the feeling, I'm at the point where I just ignore whatever my mum says about the wedding, which bodes well as we still have over one year to go. My family doesn't approve of the slightly alternative, nerdy feel to the wedding either (a wedding cake with daleks? Oh horror!) and my mum constantly compares my planned wedding to what it might be like if we were getting married in Luxembourg. She is especially insistant that "only" 3 courses just won't do. My standard reply is "Are we getting married in Luxembourg? No!"

    I hope that your family eventually calms down and realises that the wedding is for you and your h2b, not them. Fingers crossed!
  27.  
    • Mrs T. 2 Be
      CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sorry you feel this way hun.

    Sounds like you need to give yourself some time off from planning and talking about it with anyone.

    Members signature icon
    Started Dating: 25th September 2005
    Engaged: 26th September 2012
    Getting Married: 25th May 2014
  28.  
    • SJJ
      CommentAuthorSJJ
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
     
    Im really sad that you feel this way you shouldnt be stressed yet!! Do you still want to get married? Then if so, just dont get anyone else involved. You and h2b arrange your wedding how YOU want it, if anyone asks questions about it then just say its all a surprise or you dont want to talk about it. These people shouldnt even be invited if they are so mean to you to make you feel this way, please focus on why you are doing this...for you and h2b to have a fantastic wedding day and solidify your relationship...not to please others xxxx
  29.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    he went round before to 'clear the air' not entirely sure what was said tbh, but im done with it anyway. some how we were offered 5k toward it... not sure how that came about, but i just dont want this wedding anymore. as far as im concerned its been ruined. they could pay for the entire fucking thing with bells on it but as far as im concerned they can cram it up their ar$es

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  30.  
    • Tori
      CommentAuthorTori
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I know exactly how you feel had similar issues before my wedding was accused of being selfish etc my response I know you'd think it was my wedding day the way I'm going on. In the end I pointed out to people that whilst we were happy for people to come and celebrate it was mine and hubby's day and we would do it our way. Please don't cancel your wedding over their selfish attitudes. Chin up it will get better and it will be so worth it when you're at the other end. I also felt that the wedding was a hurdle to get over to be married but with all the stress I had leading up to the wedding (and trust me I had a lot) on the day it was so worth per persevering with and I love be married- the stress is worth it in the end I promise x




  31.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i guess il just have to see how i feel in a week, as of now, two suppliers have already been cancelled due to being 'non essential' that have been moaned about. so other people are already getting their own ways. so screw it, im not getting what i want now anyway.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  32.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 19th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    .

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  33.  
    • brilly
      CommentAuthorbrilly
      Got married 17 months ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    so sorry you feel like this Velcro hun, I can understand how you feel and at the end of the day its YOURS and h2bs big day no one elses its what you both want and if no one else likes that then tough s**t its not about them its about u and h2b celebrating your marriage, love and commitment for each other. Tell them all to go an whistle hun and do what you want to do xxx

    31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
    Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018

 
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