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Wedding Forum - Should we pay for our alterations?...

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    • Annabbb
      Posted: Oct 9th 2016
    One of our best friends gets married this month. Myself and some other friends are bridesmaids.
    Our friend, the bride, decided to get our bridesmaids dresses on the cheap from ****[email protected] of €. I am all for cutting corners where possible to save money and getting a good bargain, but the dresses are not the colours we thought, far too long and very ill fitting.
    We decided not to say anything and just wear the dresses to support our friend.
    However, we definitely needed to get them taken up (they were all literally dragging along the floor)
    We went to a dress fitters and had them pinned etc. The seamstress commented how poorly cut they were and said they needed altering around the waist, arms etc if they were to fit properly.
    Essentially it is now 3 weeks later, the wedding is VERY soon and we have now found out the alterations have cost twice the price of the dress in the first place! We had said we would individually pick up the dresses due to differing work schedules, without the bride, so we are having to pay for the alterations ourselves as we pick them up and she has made no offer to pay it. It is about £70 each!
    If she was really strapped for cash, then we'd help out but we know they are not (this is not assuming, she freely discusses her finances). The bride technically doesn't have much money but her other half has plenty (as I said, she freely discusses this so we are not assuming they are financially comfortable, their openness and lifestyle suggests they definitely are)

    We've all already had to pay hair&makeup, shoes, accessories etc. Some of us have just moved house so have extra costs, are trying to pay off our own weddings etc and have all just paid for the hen do and her wedding presents, so have very limited disposable income. It seems unfair to expect us to pay the alterations costs, which we were not expecting, when we have already forked out for lots and it was her own choosing to buy such cheap, awful dresses in the first place.

    Should we suck it up and lay for it, although some of us are really struggling, or speak to her about it?
    We are all feeling very awkward about it and unsure what to do :-(

    • Emily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 9th 2016
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    You are obviously not happy with it so speak to her and come up with a solution that suits all if you. Xx
    If she is a good friend she will understand xx

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    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
    • InDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 9th 2016
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    Sounds like a very similar situation to what my sister and her friends had when they were BMs for a friend who financially was more than comfortable but is a super tight cheapskate.

    Basically they all ended up just dropping really really strong blatant comments about 1) not being able to afford to pay for alterations etc for her wedding and 2) that I (who was only getting married 2 weeks later than her) was paying for absolutely everything for my BMs (dresses, alterations, hair and makeup, hair accessories and transport).

    Eventually she gave in and offered to pay.

    I would speak to her as a group and be honest and ask her to pay for the alterations. Unless the bride is upfront from the start about not being able to afford certain things and asks BMs to pay for them then she really cannot then expect them to pay. As a general rule, if the bride chooses things like colour and style then she should pay, her BMs may not be able to afford the outfits or realistically wear the dresses again to get their money's worth.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
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    • LauraH813
      Posted: Oct 9th 2016
    It was her choice to order online and take the risk she wouldn't get the quality or fit she was hoping for. Unless she wanted her maids to wear them 'as is' and look like a sack of s**t on her wedding day then alterations were unavoidable and most definitely her responsibility to pay for in my book.
    I think someone needs to be brave and ask the question. Maybe she intented to pay all along but if she didn't then just explain that it is unreasonable and unfair to expect you guys to pay with your own financial situations. Hopefully she will understand.
    • MrsPrestleton2be
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Oct 10th 2016
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    Maybe drop a subtle hint about them being paid for before you collect? I paid for everything for my bridesmaids except 2 of them as initially I wasn't having them as bridesmaids due to budget being tight. But they begged me So they offered to pay for there own dresses, alterations ect

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    met 2008
    Engaged 2010
    Married 16th September 2016
    I Married my soul mate, my best friend, my life!
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