I have a bit of a dilemma and not really sure what to do!
I got engaged 7 weeks ago after being with my wonderful partner for 2 years. And he really is wonderful in every sense of the word, I just wish I had met him years ago.
Anyway, I have been married once before, I was 23 the first time round in 2008 (so very young!), we had been together since school so were childhood sweethearts. He had an affair, we split up around 3 years ago and are obviously now divorced. My biggest regret is every marrying him, we were too young and just got carried away with the whole wedding thing...
Anyway, we have set a wedding date for 2015 and very excited with plans etc. The vicar in our local church has agreed to marry us, which we are both really excited about.
However I have a dilemma. When I got married the first time, I obviously changed my surname to my ex husbands. When we split up I never bothered changing it back (I believe you had to do this by deed poll??) so I have always retained my married surname. I am not ashamed of the fact that I have been married before, but this is not something I want to become common knowledge among h2b family, as I just don't feel its any of their business (obviously his immediate family do know). I just don't feel it's something that needs to be raised and I don't want them to think differently of me??!
So I now have the dilemma of invites, as my parents obviously have a different surname so if I put their names on our invites that becomes blindingly obvious I have been married before due to the different name.
I also have a passport dilemma, because when I got married the first time I never changed my surname on the passport to my married one (never got round to it, and then just forgot). So it's still in my maiden name. When I get married, my new marriage certificate will have my married name on, changing to another married name (does that make sense??!) I have no copy of my marriage certificate to prove my previous married name (had to send the original back to the Court when I got divorced) so how on earth do I get around this one?!!
Are there any other second time brides on there that have had similar issues?
CommentAuthorMrsL2be
Hi,
I am not a second time bride but can you not change your name back to your maiden name? If you get married in 2015 this leaves enough time to sort all the details out.
If not then instead of putting your parents names you could put something like - together with their parents or say together with their parents and just put their first names. In regards to the passport I don't know how that will work. If you change your name back to your maiden name the passport should be quite straight forward I would think.
Sorry I can't be of more help xxx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I was a second time round bride, I kept my ex's name purely for the children at the time. When we done our invites we done it as us inviting people so just had our Christian names saying 'Samantha and Darren........'
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorLindaC29
hi I've had your problem,got married 8 weeks ago,I felt it was a dilemma ,so I talked to the registrar,who helped me with names,so talk to them,I kept my married name,so it felt better I told everyone from early on,got lots of silly advice which confused me more lol,registrar said I could use my married name on certificates pre wedding as I thought I might have to use my maiden name,put your first names on invites ,some people do this anyway.You could talk to your parents about your thoughts on your name being different to theirs as this might come up on the day. As for your passport go to your main post office that do passports as they can advise with some of your worries ,it will probably mean ,you send in all papers/certificates with name changes on,or ring passport office ,get advise before you fill in any forms,hope this helps a little ,don't get too worried over names,it just seem to get sorted as I went along,now just getting used to my new surnames and all those changes :)
CommentAuthorKirsty
You can change by deed poll now, my oh has just done this (so our married name is his family name and not hus biological fathers name who we have nothing to do with). It is very easy, you just have to notify people. As for passports you can apply for a new one 3 months before your wedding in your married name. It will be post dated to your wedding date, this is what we are doing. You will have to notify people again after the wedding but if it is something that really bothers you its possible.
Alternatively you can word the invites differently, for example ours say join us to be married from xx and xx.
im a second time bride and have been digging aroudn to see how to go about changing back to my maiden name. my bank will do it if i write to them and include a copy of my divorce certificate. to change your passport you can do this a with the new marriage certificate. anything to do with the department of works and pensions will need it in writing with a copy of your divorce certificate but they do require an official stamp so if you have a couple of dwp's to change if you go to your local job center plus they should photo copy and stamp them with their stamp and then post them to required departments.it is a lot easier than it would appear and you dont need to do by deedpole.
