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Wedding Forum - Save the date sent but dont want to invite...

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  1.  
    • IrishLion
      CommentAuthorIrishLion
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi guys

    we sent our save the dates out to everyone with their chrimbo cards, and one young couple I sent to make a particular point of thanking me and cant wait to come.
    The prob is we've heard they're getting married first (lastminute thing) and we're not invited to theirs. Now im all for still sending them an invite but my OH doesnt want them there, hiss thinking is that if we dont mean anything to them for even a night invite then we can scrap them off our whole day.

    But can you uninvite someone who has acknowledged your day. Bearing in mind that her mother and partner and other family are still coming to ours cos we are close to them (but obv could say they cant make it too in rsvp)

    im loosing sleep over this. I understand that peoples numbers change but i hate letting people down and i dont want to be seen to be spiteful just cos we aint going to theirs (which i am a bit miffed at tbh)
  2.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Its a hard one in one hand it seems petty but on the other they know they are invited to yours a few months after.

    Id still send them an invite if it were me, because I dont stoop to other people levels I do what I/we like. plus they could be having a very small/intimate wedding.

    Dont let it get to you too much its really not worth it.

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  3.  
    • ShaunaH58
      CommentAuthorShaunaH58
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Really dont worry about it, we all know how expensive weddings can prove to be!
    I'm having sleepless nights because I know one of our friends will be inviting us, but we cant afford to invite them. Unfortunately it comes down to ££, not down to how much they love you
  4.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Maybe they have reasons not to invite you such as limited numbers or only close friends and family.

    Forgetting that they haven't invited you to theirs just think about your day when you picture it do you see them there? If so go ahead and keep them on invite list.

    Like Elizabeth says don't over think it as it will seem bigger than it actually is x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  5.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I was going to say the same as Welshbride, might be that they are doing a very small wedding with minimal people there, hence why it is last minute.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  6.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    If they weren't getting married and hadn't invited you , would you still be inviting them ? if the answer is yes then still invite them.. you must of wanted them to come to send a Save T D. Sounds like they were pleased to be asked :) if you don't want them there though for another reason then that's different .

    Members signature icon
    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
    Life is Wild, Love it Live it !

  7.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
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    We have a friend who is only inviting us to the evening do because he didn't want to single any friends out, so he decided to invite all friends at the evening only. This could be the reason for your non-invite to their wedding. It could be due to cost or the fact they dont want to single out people,

    If you really want to uninvite them, you could mention that it is down to cost, or an oversight from the venue. From a personal view though, I wouldn't uninvite them.

    x

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  8.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 8th 2015
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    WBBethan may be right. If you were going to invite them anyway then do so, they may have limited budget and or space and feel it's been hard to decide who does and doesn't get an invite to their big day.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  9.  
    • IrishLion
      CommentAuthorIrishLion
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i should point out, i know its not money related as her dads a millionaire and thats why its happening in a short space as they can be lavish and have whoever. i think ill leave their invite to the last and see if i get one closer but no doubt my mind will be made up for me
  10.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would send an invite anyway - it might just be money aside they just want it smaller. And if they are excited about it at least you know they'll really love being with you on your special day! xxxx
  11.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2015
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    Even though money might not be issue could they still just be having close friends and family? Could you be invited to evening do?


    It maybe best to leave it until a bit closer as you are still upset and it fairly new in you finding out so would be feeling a bit raw.x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  12.  
    • IrishLion
      CommentAuthorIrishLion
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    thanks ladies, I think you're right.
    It was a bit of a blow that unless my MOH told me, I would never know as FB etc doesnt even mention it.
    But tbh i know she doesnt class me as close family so im not holding hope for an evening invite.

    I'll hang off for a while and see
    :D
  13.  
    • RachaelB76
      CommentAuthorRachaelB76
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    you have to have who you want there but make sure you wont regret it afterwards. or just send them an evening invitation x




  14.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 9th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    You still don't know if her Dad is helping with finances - they may be doing it all themselves or may just prefer to have a smaller, more intimate 'do'. You can never know and by not inviting them, you could be ostracizing them and does more harm than good in my experience. I hate all this competitive/they didn't invite me to theirs so why shouldn't come to ours stuff because at the end of the day, if they are still people you want there to celebrate your union, then invite them! Simples :) x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

 
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