So the date for our RSVPs was Friday. We went to the effort of getting a new personalised email address for the RSVPs (there isn't anyone we know without email access), and asked people to RSVP by email or return of the stub on the invitation. In addition to this people will have either mine/OHs phone number or can get us on Book Face, which a couple of people have done and I din't mind as at least its in writing.
However, I'm feeling pretty offended that we have stated a date and the vast majority have ignored it and just not replied. What makes it worse is that it is our families and a lot of OH close family friends. I've also got 4 sets of invitees from from work asking if they can have an extended deadline, one of which I understand because their first is due mid-July, but the other reasons make me feel as if they are just going to be a late no.
So the question is when do I chase up and what do I say? My work invites have had the longest and are the easiest to contact by round robin email, would you just do this on Monday?
My dad hasn't RSVPd yet, but its his rugby club room we are having so I presume he is coming and just not done the RSVP, should I just ask him and get him to check with the rest of his family for them?
Although its not until 20th August time is ticking on and I am running out of weekends to sort stuff before we go away on 17th July and I'm starting to get paranoid, surely the amount of invites I'm having to chase (77 which is about 130 people) can't all be down to people being lazy or just assuming we know they'll come?
Sorry for the long post and rant just needed to get it out of my head!
CommentAuthorKatieH
Sometimes family think they don't need to RSVP as they think you would know that they are coming. We had that with a couple of family members and had to specify that they still had to RSVP. We had to chase some up which I did pretty much straight away so I would start chasing this week. At the end of the day you need to know numbers and you put a RSVP date on for a reason.
Met in 2007
Started dating in 2009
Got engaged in 2014
Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
CommentAuthorStephH96
Thanks Katie, it's just that there are so many!
CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
We actually started chasing ours up the day before the date we gave. We just sent found messages asking if they were attending
21st May 2016 xxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Some people do genuinely forget but that is a lot of invites. If the date has passed then you do need to start chasing. Suppliers need confirmation of final numbers for catering and chair covers etc etc so you can then settle the final invoice before the big day.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
I would chase asap as you need the details. It may just be that they have forgotten or don't think they need to.
Once I forgot to RSVP but when it was mentioned to me I was convinced that I had posted it. Opened up my diary and the RSVP card was there, sealed, stamp on and address but not sent. Was quite funny actually because I always date things like that and I had dated it 2 months before! Hadn't intentionally forgotten to post it but things do happen x
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
You're not alone in this - it's so annoying. We had to chase family and friends about a week after our RSVP deadline had passed. They all said they genuinely forgot to send it back but it's very annoying.
I would send a polite reminder and say that you need to confirm numbers x
CommentAuthorStephH96
OMG I have just added another 20 or so people just by messaging on bookface. Should have just bloody done an event on there! Still waiting for a lot of replies too :/
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
I posted this on FB when we were chasing replies. You could put a date and say if you don't hear from them by X date then you will assume they are not coming. People were very quick to reply once I did that. X
I IM'd my cousin and he was like oh yeah my dad (my uncle) told me I can come was he supposed to RSVP? I went back with yeah cos we are doing food, wouldn't be very good if there wasn't enough food for you!
And he was like s*** yeah......
CommentAuthorKimberleyR93
I don't get married untill next year but I've put a rsvp on my invites. I will be telling ppl that if they have not replied by the date then we shall assume they are not coming and fill there place. Harsh but it's stress u could do without. I would chase it up and politely state if you don't get back to me then we will assume your not coming!!! As for family I do think they feel they don't have to so I would just mention it to them.
We met.
We fell in love.
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CommentAuthorStephH96
Thanks Kimberley, I've actually posted the photo Kirsty has put above on my book face with a date, and we will presume anyone who hasn't replied will not be coming. We did say 3rd June on the invites so I think it is only fair really.
CommentAuthorErinP42
I'd ask them, I haven't sent my invites (way to early) but my OH gran asked if we received my bday card and a couple of other things she sent She sent them to the wrong house number so some random has them. My FMIL sent me a card got it 3 weeks later. And if it was an email to rsvp to could they have misspelled it? it could be that they think they have replied and you haven't received it - as others have said that's a lot of no reply And check the spam filter on your email they could be in there
CommentAuthorEmily17
Erin, it's for that reason that we will be putting the address on the envelopes. We are buying stickers to print onto so wont be too bad and wont have to handwrite it a million times.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorStephH96
Erin I suppose that's all true however nothing in spam and having talked to the vast majority of people who didn't reply by the original deadline they all either 'meant to reply but forgot ' or 'oh did I have to RSVP?'. Seriously so glad we aren't having a traditional wedding here!
