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Wedding Forum - Realised that I don't want to do this :( -...

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  1.  
    • CalCarm
      CommentAuthorCalCarm
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      edited
     
    Since we decided not to get married in a church, we have been looking at venues.
    H2B has been away and I made lists and even went to see some with one of my best friends.
    I haven't really been that into it all but figured that it was just the venues but I have realised that I don't actually want a wedding.
    I feel awful :(
  2.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    Don't feel bad - I know quite a few people who feel the same way as you. A wedding isn't for everyone, so don't have one. If you want to get married without having a wedding then that's still possible. If its marriage that you don't want then that's still OK, its not going to affect your relationship. Have a good old chat with your OH and see how you both feel about not having a wedding.
  3.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Showgirl is exactly right! Also, worth thinking about if it's just a phase while OH has been/is away? Maybe you need a few days away to ponder? Speak to him and try and figure out what you both want and need to be happy. People don't need to be married to be happy. My dad has been with who I call my stepmam since I was 3 and I'm 21 now x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  4.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    dont feel awful but be honest

  5.  
    • Ana40
      CommentAuthorAna40
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I think what you've said has taken a lot of courage and you should be proud of this. If you can be as honest with your partner then hopefully you can get through this, maybe a marriage isn't for you, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a solid and successful relationship. X

    Members signature icon



  6.  
    • FitchMcCombe
      CommentAuthorFitchMcCombe
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Wise words from the other ladies! I would speak to your partner soon when he's back, but let him know that you still feel the same about him and keep in mind that it could well be nerves. If he's prepared to marry you for better and worse then as much as this might come as a shock it should not shake the foundation of your relationship. Best to take a step back and appreciate what matters most, your love for one another! hope it all works out for the best hon x
  7.  
    • MiriamF1
      CommentAuthorMiriamF1
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 4th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    don't feel awful its taken a lot of guts to admit that. Have a good heart to heart with your other half and as long as you are both on the same page you can get through this. Is it the idea of the big day that you don't want? If so could you just elope just the two of you and have it very lowkey maybe throw a party later on that is just that a party not a wedding? Don't even tell anyone you're married lol just have it as something only the two of you know then announce it at the party so there's no pressure. Hope you can figure out what is best for the two of you x
  8.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    What you need to decide is is it the wedding you don't want or is it the marriage? If you want marriage without the big day you can do that, all you need is two witnesses. Otherwise maybe you need to spend some time away with your OH without discussing weddings, to work out exactly what you want from the relationship.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  9.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    it definitely takes balls to stand up and say this now .. to many people keep quiet and that only leads to problems in the future.

    look at what you DO want and aim for that

  10.  
    • CalCarm
      CommentAuthorCalCarm
      Posted: May 5th 2014
     
    Thanks ladies, you are all so nice, which just makes me feel worse :(

    I know I don't want a big wedding, but am realising I don't want to be married either which sucks because he has always made it clear that he can't imagine never getting married :(
  11.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
  12.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsManiatt
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    like the ladies said, if you dont want to get married, you can still have a long and happy relationship with all of the benefits and perks. But you do need to tell your other half. Don't mean to drag the hope down but me and my ex had differing views on marriage, and it drove us apart because we wanted different things. Speak to your OH, you need to sort this out together xxxx
  13.  
    • CalCarm
      CommentAuthorCalCarm
      Posted: May 13th 2014
     
    I just wanted to say another thank you and give you an update

    I told OH and he was, as expected, very very upset, getting married was always a non negotiable for him and I have always known that

    After many a discussion and one long chat with our parish priest (OH is Catholic I am not and originally we had decided against a church reason because I am a card carrying atheist)
    We have come to an agreement, we will be getting married, I will have no real involvement in the planning. It will be midweek with our parents and possibly siblings if their work allows if not then just our parents in our parish church. Then back to ours for tea and cake. Nothing more.

    Thank you once again
  14.  
    • MiriamF1
      CommentAuthorMiriamF1
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    That sounds perfect and takes all the pressure off! Great that you were able to talk it out and come up with a compromise, hope you have a long and happy life together x
  15.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
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    Glad you were able to talk things through and that you have come to an agreement. Hope it all goes to plan.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  16.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Glad you reached a solution x
  17.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'm glad you've been able to come to a compromise. The big do isn't for everyone.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  18.  
    • LauraK7
      CommentAuthorLauraK7
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Glad you came to an agreement that suits you both xxxx
  19.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    Sounds like you've both found the perfect way to have a marriage without all the to-do of a wedding. Hope you have a wonderful day and all the best for the future.
  20.  
    • Ana40
      CommentAuthorAna40
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: May 19th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    That's great news. X

    Members signature icon



  21.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 20th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Nothing big which it sounds very you. At least it's sorted xx

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    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  22.  
    • Nicky2988
      CommentAuthorNicky2988
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: May 21st 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    We didn't want a wedding either. So we're getting married at the registry office then going to a country hotel fir a lovely meal and a drink or 5 with 10 guests. x
  23.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 21st 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    For some the idea of a big wedding is great and then when it's starting to get planned they realise "y'know what, this isn't me". A colleague at my work was very much like this so she had a small ceremony at a local park venue then went to a nearby hotel for a discreet meal with immediate family. The only thing her mother insisted on was the dress as she is their only girl and her father (who sadly passed away a while before) would have wanted it. Never feel guilty about being honest because it means you're being brave.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
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