We are getting married 31st oct 2015. We had a hall booked for the evening do but have received an email saying we need to get it clean (ourselves) by 12pm.. I don't want my day ending by like 10pm to then clean a massive hall on our big day :(
We had already looked around at all other possible venues and cost wise it just isn't possible.
Last night we were set to cancel the ceremony but after chatting realised that the evening reception isn't the most important thing to us, the ceremony is.
I thought that maybe after the ceremony, we could invite our families to our home for cake, nibbles and champers and then go out in the evening and inform people that we will be out and would love for them to join us for a drink..
My only concern is what others will think.. We dont want to look cheap and people thinking that the day doesnt matter to us..
We could save over 2k by doing it like this and would then have some spare money to take the children on our first family holiday.
Has anyone else done this? x
31st October 2015.. Can't wait!!
CommentAuthorclairenina
I've never heard of this. Do you really have no other option? Your wedding day should be enjoyable and seamless. If there really is no other option, could you draft in some family/friends/anyone to clear up?
CommentAuthorHalloween'15
Hi, Thanks for your reply.. Family have offered to help clean up but with all the decor, including indoor marquee it isnt possible as that cant be taken down until the next morning.. It was going to cost a fortune and for 4 hours seems ridiculous.. All we have done so far is stress over the reception.
Apparently it was the norm years ago to not have a huge reception but of course nowadays its expected that you go all out :(
31st October 2015.. Can't wait!!
CommentAuthorFlossie
edited
Firstly, I wouldn't worry about what other people think. Do whatever you will be happy and comfortable with - it's not anyone else's wedding day, it's yours.. so screw anyone who has a problem with any part of the arrangements! I think it would be nice to invite people back to yours for drinks and nibbles.. maybe have a BBQ? (Weather permitting I suppose given the time of year).
Have you thought about hiring out a restaurant? If that works out too expensive then maybe you could consider asking your guests to put money towards their meal instead of buying you gifts or giving you money?
It seems ridiculous that they would expect you to have the whole thing down and cleaned on your wedding night!! x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorBecky1608
As long as you have the day that you and your H2B want then that's the most important thing and other people's opinions shouldn't matter xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
Flossie - I was going to suggest the restaurant idea too! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorsALLY
do you have a local pub? i know a few people who havent had an evening do and just met friends and family in the local to celebrate as we were struggling at the time my family said we could all go for a meal at a local place and they pay for themselves. we have now sorted our venue anyway but its what ever you fell comfortable with as you say the evening isnt the biggest part of the day
CommentAuthorHalloween'15
Thanks for your kind replies.
Our aim of the day is to be husband and wife and im sure it will be the best day ever no matter what we do afterwards.. However nice it would be to have a huge reception to celebrate the day at the mo its just not appealing to us, which is strange as ive always dreamed of an evening with everyone we know for food and dancing but now none of that seems to matter.
Money is not so much of an issue as we have a budget that we can afford so going to restaurant is actually a really lovely idea.. We were having close family only to the ceremony anyway which is 21 adults and 10 children so definitely affordable.
31st October 2015.. Can't wait!!
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I think a restaurant or pub could be your best bet; if the hall was costing £2k all-in, that's a decent amount to play with, and should get everyone a meal at a local restaurant (some chain restaurants do party packages for about £20 a head which usually includes a welcome glass of sparkling wine, then a choice of starter or dessert and a main; 3 courses are usually about £25 a head; independent restaurants will also probably offer you a group booking discount), and lots of restaurants have separate areas for private functions, or, if you find somewhere small, will let you take over the entire place.
Another option would be a pub. On Friday I had a birthday thing at my local; they gave us the back area (which is pretty separate from the main area) for free, and we were able to decorate it. They then allowed us to bring in our own food and they heated it up for us. So basically, all we paid for was some food, and then we also bought 3 bottles of prosecco from them for a toast. So that sort of thing is also worth a thought; most will do meals or a buffet very reasonably as they know they'll make money from drinks.
What I wouldn't do though is ask people to pay their own way in lieu of a gift. I think that you definitely need to provide food and some drink for people.
CommentAuthorAprilS61
If they can't take the marquee down til the next day, could you just not have it? It will save you money and mean IF everyone was up for it, would be easier to clean and have ready by12 (even though that is a ridiculous request?!)
I think therestaurant idea is good though, I was going to suggest that myself. However if you want to be able to dance is there any function rooms room could hire? Where I live it's usually free in a pub or some bars may request a £50 or £100 deposit but get it back at the end of the night providing there's no damage.
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Also to add, have you asked if you can book the hall out for a few hours the following day and do your clearing up then? Obv that will only work if they don't charge too much, but it might be worth a thought.
CommentAuthorHalloween'15
Thanks for all your opinions.
We had initially thought that we had it until the next morning so wasnt concerned about the tidy up.. Whilst we have been waiting on replies etc, they have booked it out the next morning from 8am so the hall isnt possible now.
Most of the pubs/bars where i live will be hosting their annual halloween parties so that is also out of the question.
thanks for your help, im sure we'll figure something out. x
31st October 2015.. Can't wait!!
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I wouldn't say it's out of the question; plenty of pubs don't do much for Halloween (I'd say 50% don't where we live) and if they know they've got a wedding party in I'm sure most would give you a section. Otherwise, check out restaurants as they def won't be doing anything for Halloween.
Failing that, I think doing something at yours is fine; just buy in food and drink and set up a gazebo in the garden.
What I don't like the idea of though is inviting people to meet you in town, and them paying their own pay; I think if you're inviting people, however informally, to your wedding reception, you should provide at least some food and drink.
CommentAuthorAprilS61
I'm the same as barbie, Halloween isn't such a massive thing (personally I hate Halloween) if it was Christmas then maybe. Of course I don't know Where you live and could be a little village with limited reception options or a decent sized town like me. I cant imagine everywhere would have a Halloween party. I would certainly try as they have over a years notice to respect a wedding party over something that happens every year.
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorHalloween'15
Our guests would still get food and drinks.. Im not that tight! lol.
I think my ideas have been slightly misunderstood.
We live in a very small village and all potential venues (a grand total of 3 in a 5 mile radius) have massive parties every year, i love halloween , best day of the year :)
I wouldnt be inviting people to join us in town.. We will be going out as a couple and IF people want to join us they are more than welcome to do so.
31st October 2015.. Can't wait!!
CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
My mam and dad got married at 1 and had a wedding breakfast then went home they had no evening reception. They still loved everything about their day x
Is there no other options such as function room hire?? Or as u say invite people to go after and if they join u great :-)
CommentAuthorFlossie
I love the idea of putting a marquee up in the garden (or someone else's if yours isn't quite big enough). Would be lovely and you could just put on your own buffet with lots of lovely things x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Re marquees in the garden: we bought a tent (looks nice though) from @rg0s for £70 and it's fab; works really well. We string fairy lights and lanterns up in it and pop a base sheet down and it's brilliant. Plus if you did this you could probably sell it after. So that could be an option?
Otherwise I think what you've suggested is fine as long as you keep it nice and informal and lay on a decent buffet (as if peope are going to be coming out drinking with you you want them to line their stomach's first!)
CommentAuthorCarrieD26
I think a house / garden with buffet, bbq or hog roast sounds amazing!
Another option if there is anything near you could be a village hall, cricket club, rugby or football club? If they provide a free bar for customers to buy drinks, rather than having to buy them, you could maybe make enough saving to put on transport to a reception venue a little further afield? Some venues will even let you use the hall for no cost if you are likely to spent quite a bit at the bar.
We checked out most venues / halls / sports clubs in about a 15 mile radius because our village doesn't have a single venue with a kitchen AND parking! We ended up finding a beautiful church with an award winning village hall in the same village, but it really took some digging!
CommentAuthorLeanneS91
My MOHs cousing got married about 2 year ago in a church and then we all just went back to the pub afterwards. I loved it. They're not the kind of people who like all the attention and they sed the main thing to them was to be married. We all bought some food when we got to the pub and then our own drinks all day and night and then went to town afterwards. No one minded at all buying there own food and drink. It was just nice to be part to there day. It was hassle free, stress free and a lovely day. I honk if that's what u want then go for it. Starting to wish I had done something like this.
Leanne
Marrying my best friend on 18th October
Making our life complete with our 2 beautiful girls
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Are there any church halls nearby you could hire out? Or maybe widen your search, most guests are happy to travel 10 to 15 miles for weddings, most of our guests travelled approx 25 to 30 miles plus some flew in from half way around the world.
Just remember that the important thing is to have the day that you and h2b want x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHalloween'15
Thanks for your helpful replies.. I shall throw some ideas about tonight and see what we can agree on. Leannes91, we are the same, really dont like being in the spot light..lol. I have searched google alot today and it seems alot of peoples blogs ive read would rather go without the actual ceremony than the reception.. Crazy.
We could spend thousands having an ostentatious reception but it just isnt us and im glad ive thought of this before spending money that could be spent taking the children away. x
31st October 2015.. Can't wait!!
CommentAuthorLeanneS91
It's definitely better that you've decided this now rather than put deposits down and end up loosing it. Everyone's different and there's no set way of having your day. It's just got to be the best day for u, h2b and ur kids. Xx
Leanne
Marrying my best friend on 18th October
Making our life complete with our 2 beautiful girls
