My H2B has a severly disable sister who i am having as a bridesmaid. I had the dress already and she is the right size so i thought it would be nice for her to wear it. She is in a wheel chair and doesnt talk so wont be actively in the ceremony but i want her included. Well my mum is constantly on at me about her not being a bridesmaid as she wont be able to cope, and she doesnt want her in all the photos and the reception would be too much for her. I've tried to explain she wont be in all the pictures and her carers will be there so if it gets too much they will take her home, but shes just not listening. I dont want you all to think my mums a bad person coz she really is wonderful and just wants everything to go right on the day, but i needed to vent my frustration. I dont know what to do to make her listen that wont cause an argument. She has sever suicidal depression so its difficult tackly things like this without upsetting her.
Ok so vent over, i feel a bit better now :-)
CommentAuthorJenna
Well until i got to the end i was thinking just say if it was you would you like to be left out coz you dont walk or talk, she still has feelings, she is a person.... however given your mum has depression it may not be such a good idea to go at it from that angle.... so hows about, She is a person, not just a friend or a neighbour but a sister, regardless of how she is or isnt she will be there, she has feelings like you and me and i know if it was me and i was left out i would feel horrible, pushed to one side and someone who is not apart of the family. And i would just say to your mum, please mum if it was my sister would you say the same? Just leave it I and H2B want her there, if she wants the same then she will be, end of!
CommentAuthorfelicity.h
oh god hun my dad had the sever suicidal depression to, unfortunately it got the better of him, but i dont believe in tiptoeing around these thing. All you can do is tell her your sil2b will be bridesmaid and then if she carries on just let her and do your best to not listen.
CommentAuthorsami & Paul
i recently went to a friends wedding and he severly mentally and physically disabled brother was there, his carers were also present. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, he did not stay inside for the whole service, and was only present for a while at the reception, but he has photo's taken and was always smiling. Just try to explain to your mum that she will enjoy being involved and that her carers will make sure she is happy and comfortable during the day xx
soon to be Mrs Anderson!!!!!
CommentAuthorSoon2beMrsHall
Well all you can say is that she is part of your wedding and that she will be yout sis in law. It up to you who you have at the wedding and doing what. But she wont be in all the pictures as i work with disabled people and they can only last about 3 hours with loads of people around coz it confusses them to much
Cant wait to to marry Martyn
Wishes the wedding would come faster
XxX
I agree with Mrs. Hall and felicity. Just say that she will be there and she will be taking part. End of discussion. Then let her complain but say it won't make a difference x
CommentAuthordebs x
I think its great that you have chosen for her to be a Bridesmaid and weddings are about family and she is part of yours and H2b's so there shouldnt be a problem x
CommentAuthorMrs Steer
i think its lovely that you have chosen to have her as a bridesmaid, its very easy for people to push others side because of disabilities :( your mum probably just wants your day to be perfect and cant see it now but it will be with you sil2b in it. :) Keep you chin up hun, its your wedding your choice and hopefully your mum can understand this xx
Is now happily married to my gorgeous man
11-06-11
CommentAuthorRags
Hope you get it all sorted. It sounds like a very precarious position to be in, I hope it all goes well for you
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorRelfy
i too think its really nice that you are including her in your wedding - well done you!!! Can you not say to your mum that you feel bad starting your married life excluding your new sister in law and that you want to start it as you mean to go on...I just think your mum doesnt understand... unfortunately some cant seem to see past the disabilities. Its not your mums fault though, has she met your SIL2b? she might genually be concerned about the longness of the day for her..
I dont think you need to have a talk with her about it, the next time she brings it up i would just say, 'i cant do that mum'
CommentAuthorRachel_Sarah
Thanks ladies, you've all been really helpful, im hoping shes accepted my decision now and will just leave it alone but we will see.
