Wedding Forum - My first wedding related rant and im...

Please bear with me as I may not make complete sense as I am furious.

So we are getting married in a hotel with 28 rooms, Personally I don't want my FMIL and SIL and the kids staying over the night before, The only people with kids are myself my best friend and my SIl with our three nephews so I got my best friend to book the only other family room in the hotel for her and her youngest whilst her older two share a double well imagine my surprise when my SIL texts to say she has booked the family room and they have moved my friend into a double with a put up bed.

Now I know I may be blowing this way out of proportion But the hotel don't know the reasons why my friends have boked the family room various reasons her husband is disabled and needs plenty of room which the family rooms allows and it also meant that the rooms big enough for the 5 of them getting ready together Plus the chances are My DS will be popping into their room too as she has offered to keep him if needed as her daughter is his best friend . The hotel haven't even had the decency to phone and tell my friend, (As it is she still doesn't know and I have no idea if they plan on phoning to tell them).

I don't want my In laws any where near me as they stress me out and I was hoping that with my friend booking the family room WEEKS ago it would put my SIL off staying in our hotel and stay in the one across the road.

H2b doesn't see a problem with it but I think its bad of the hotel as my friend booked the family room not a double room with a Z-bed.

Sorry for the rant and if im over reacting someone please tell me.

If this were me I would be mad, if you friend had booked a specific room and then been moved. I would get her to call up and say she is just clarifying the room she booked and if they say they have had to move her I would kick up saying I specifically wanted that room thats why i booked it and say she wants it put back and will have to call the other person and tell them that there was a mix up and she cannot hsve that room.

With my hotel theres only 12 rooms including bridal suite , snd Im giving them a list of the rooms and where to place people and if theres anyone in particular to offer appologies that there are not sny rooms.

Thos we feel should stay in hotel are including booking details of hotel in invites others ate having a not sayinf there is limited avalibility ar the venue but there is another hotel 5 mins down road we recomend with a free shuttle service back in evening.

Yeah it's the hotel I'm furious with not SIL, I'm going to speak to my friend tomorrow we all go for lunch in a Friday, h2b says I shouldn't mention it but I'm not dealing this the day before the wedding because I will go nuts. I've managed to calm myself down a bit x

The hotel shouldn't have moved them if they asked for that specific room, but hotels will class a double will a z-bed as a family room. Just have a word with the hotel and tell them that room was booked because it was accessible. They will have to swap it back then, don't get stressed about it tho, just have a word x

Elinor Claire DS is darling son. X

I just don't know if it's worth the hassle of my friend phoning up or me phoning up and telling them to change it back, I fell out with my in laws a few years ago and they made life pretty difficult for me and h2b and I almost had a nervous breakdown.

I've hardly slept a wink

I'd get your friend to call them straight away and complain! They shouldn't change anything on a booking without checking. Have you spoken to your SIL about this at all? Xxx

I always wondered what DS was too...

My friends husband booked the rooms so he has phoned the hotel, the manager is going to phone him back tomorrow as she is off today. It was the manger who changed the booking.

When booking a specific room the hotel entered into a contact with your friend .. The hotel have now broken that by moving them to room that is not suitable for their needs ....

If I were you I would also kick up a fuss with the venue if they don't change the booking back, explain what a big impact this has had on you and also how it worries you how unprofessional they have been... in fact I'd be tempted to say something even if it is changed back

That's against data protection to change a booking already made as that's a legally binding contract for that room between ur friend and the hotel! That could cause compensation and all sorts...they are NOT allowed to just put ppl where they want, it's illegal, and for your sil to have arranged it is also fraud I'm sure!x

its not against date protection as they haven't disclosed any information regarding guest.

also it cant be classed as fraud either, they hotel can put people in any room they deem fits the requirements , the case you have is because they requested a specific room for very valid reasons and were told that this was the room that had been reserved for them.

Im going to send this email does it sound ok?

Good Evening,


I have my wedding booked for Sat 15th August 2015 and I was informed on Thursday Evening that my friends Mr & Mrs J have been moved from the family room that they booked in Feb so that Mr & Mrs K could have the room for them and their 3 boys.


Mr J had the family room booked for him, his wife and 2 children (As well as a further double room), and as far as I am aware had been moved to a double room as the family room had only been booked for one child so they could be accommodated else where (I understand that a put up bed can be put up in the rooms for one extra child)


Mr J called yesterday morning to sort the situation out as he isn't happy at being moved from a room they had booked to something that is now not suitable for his needs, He has explained to the lady on the phone his reasons for needing this room and she explained that it was her manager who changed the rooms and that she wasn't back in until today and that she would phone at some point today.


As of now Mr J has not received a call to explain the room change and he did say to whoever the lady was he spoke to that if its not rectified to his satisfaction he will not be staying for our wedding.


For me this is not an option as they make up part of my bridal party and the reason they booked the family room far in advance was so that they knew they had their accommodation sorted.


This is causing me a massive stress and to be honest it is not something I should have to worry about and really don't want to be involved in. If you could please call Mr J to rectify the issue his number is 07.


I appreciate that you are busy today with having a wedding on but I would be grateful if this situation can be sorted asap.

Kindest of regards
Elizabeth F

My friends have the family room back, I have a seriously p'd off SIL though, she had cancelled the rooms they had booked but it's being passed to the general manager , the hotel said they could squeeze the 5 of them into one room but SIL wasn't having it.

I've forgot about h2bs gran having dementia so they need to stay so that gran can sleep during the day if needed and get away from everyone if it gets too much for her, MIL is sole career for gran and she really doesn't need the stress on her sons big day. I'm not sure what's going to happen with them staying or not, I'm not stressing out about it they can sort it out themselves.

I would be sure to point out that he requires the family room due to disability also that way there is no wiggle room for the hotel of your cow of sil xx

Lana x

glad its sorted! who cares if shes pi$$ed off, its not your problem.

UPDATE

I was out with my SIL this morning (Funny how when they want something they are super nice) and she told me that because they cant all stay the boys wont be at the wedding her oldest is one of the usher. I am so angry its not an option for the boys not to be there, SO I have now asked my friend after everything if they would consider moving to a smaller room so the boys can go and my SIL gets the family room, I feel like I have been blackmailed but there is nothing much else I can do. She also told me that granny (Dementia sufferer) will dictate what happens with her mum on the day so she might only be there five minutes (WTF its her sons wedding) MIL is her sole carer and I understand that gran comes first. Imnot waiting to hear from my friend to see if they will move she needs to speak to her husband but after all that I went through I feel like 'for what' I am not letting it stress me out but my OH is fuming.

Its your wedding hun, I know everyone says it, but honestly, do what YOU want to do, and if that means moving rooms again, or having less people within the bridal party then so be it. No one should be dictating or vlackmailing you regarding your own wedding, thats just the lowest of the low xx

Its not an option for the boys not to be there from my POV and OH agrees. I will see what comes of my friend. If she decided the boys aren't going then We would only have the one usher as we had originally planned but thought it was nice to include nephew as her and the other SIL aren't Bms

They were told months before anyone else that there was only one family room left. but they didn't book it early enough and my friend booked it. The hotel were trying to be accommodating and moved my friends to a smaller room but they failed to inform my friends so her hubby dug his heels in and wanted moved back to the family room. Sil cancelled her reservation and now tells me the boys wont be there. She is just drama all the time. They hate me but when this is all over I will have the last laugh as im marrying the man of my dreams and there is nothing they can do about it :)

WTF?!?I thought there was other accomodation nearby that she would be able to book, so why then could she not book a room elsewhere (which is what you wanted in the first place) and have her son in the bridal party still? She and her son won't need a room until the evening so it seems incredibly petty that he would have to miss the entire wedding for the sake of where they would all be sleeping afterwards. I still think your friend should still have the family room no matter what as it was requested for valid reasons. I get that she doesn't want to pay for 3 rooms but then most places can put up an extra temporary bed in a room which would mean that only 2 rooms would be required. If she does decide the kids can't come to the wedding then who will be looking after them all day and night?
Yes, it was a nice idea to include him but ultimately if it doesn't happen it will be entirely because of her not you, she's a grown up and should start acting like one instead of throwing a tantrum! In this case a tantrum that has a negative effect not only on her brother but also her own son and your friend. Accepting that you can't always have your own way and finding a comfortable alternative is all part of being an adult. With or without her son in the bridal party, you will not allow her to bully you, OH or your friend out of what you have already planned for your wedding (apart from whether or not her son is in the bridal party, sadly that is one thing she can control). Put your foot down and tell her to grow up!

She doesn't need to send them off to a hotel room to cool off - generally anywhere away from the guests would be fine - the room next to the ceremony room perhaps, outside, bar, restaurant, maybe ask one of the guests who is staying there if it might be possible to use their room for a few minutes or Dad takes them for a really long walk around the venue to wear them out as soon as they start acting up and then rejoin everyone once they've settled?