Just realised that topic has made me sound a bit like I've put a hit out on her...which I haven't. For the record. Haha.

This is a bit of a long one but bear with me, I'm really really upset with what's gone over the last few weeks! I asked my best friend to be my MOH , my H2b's sister, and my best friend from when we were at school to be my bridesmaids. H2B's sister got off to a wobbly start by being a general pain, but she's a lot better now and trying to be helpful and supportive and generally doing what I ask her to do and offering loads of help. MOH is being amazing, just like always. I joke that she's my other h2b. My other BM, we'll call her BM2 is being a proper pain in my generous backside.

It started with her being funny about the BM dresses, and tbh the MOH didn't like them either, so we changed them for other ones which BM1 and MOH absolutely love. BM2 keeps dodging me when I ask her to come try them on so in the end we had to make a decision and we went ahead and bought the,m. I've sent her pictures which she ignores, and she keeps sending me links to other dresses that are way out of our budget, and when I asked her if she liked the dress she just said "i thought we could go shopping in the january sales for BM dresses, I've got some links to some lovely ones". I'll take that as a no then?

Then the problem of shoes arose...I sent the 3 girls 3 shoes and asked which ones they liked best. Again, BM2 didn't really get involved so in the end, after a fortnight of sending them group bookface messages etc, BM1 and MOH agreed on a pair so I sent her a message saying are they ok and do you like them, and that if she wanted we could go try them on together so she could see how she felt. Again, she ignored this message and sent a link saying "I've found the perfect BM shoes". They're HORRIBLE. Really tacky and don't go with the dresses at all, and they're £50 over budget per pair. BM1 (H2b's sister) phoned in tears coz she couldn't afford them so I told her we were sticking with the original ones and to ignore the other link.

I've phoned BM2 and tried to talk about it but she always ends up making me feel as though i'm being unreasonable.

The final straw with the wedding has come from the fact that for over a month now I've been trying to get all the girls together for a fitting. It's difficult as BM1 and BM2 live in Salisbury, MOH lives in Portsmouth and H2B and I live in Warwick so it's been tricky, esp as our little boy has been in and out of hospital. Anyway. We all agreed a date and a time, MOH has to drive for an hour after a full day at work, get fitted, then drive back for a party! BM1 has a little boy and works weekends so they've both been amazing to be there for me. BM2 on the other hand suddenly decided she was going on holiday and told me she wasn't back til too late on Saturday. Then on Tuesday this week, a mutual friend who didn't realise what BM2 had said told me she was actually back from holiday Today!!!!!! Needless to say, I am absolutely fuming. She's lied to me to get out of trying her dress on!!! And she's arranged with our 2 mutual friends to go out on Saturday night so she's not exactly going to be back late is she.

H2B and I have had enough, and so I sent her a message on bookface saying I'd been told she was back today, and I expected to see her on saturday because I wanted to talk to her. I'm fed up now. I thought BM's were supposed to make it easier for you not more stressful? And now it seems I'm not invited out on saturday either as their fb statuses are all about how they're only seeing each other at the weekend. B*****ks to them I say. I'm too old for this now - we're 23 not 13!!!!! We're uninviting her from being a BM, and I'm not going to the effort of paying for the girls and all their hubby's bf's etc to be at our wedding when they clearly don't care at all.

Sorry girls. Needed to get it off my chest!!!! Rant over - I'm going to go scream into a pillow or something!!!!!

You're a lot softer than me. I will give my bms a choice on the style of the dress but the colour is non negotiable. I've got 3 adults and 2 kids, the kids won't be a problem but I have chosen 3 of the most unreliable women to be my bms. I'm hoping that they will pull it together for me as I have for them in the past. Any trouble though and I won't hold back.

I think you are so right for sacking her as a bm because she's not considered your feelings at all. Good luck hun. x

i haven't even asked my BM's to be my BM's yet! Although it's pretty much given that my sisters are going to be asked! I haven't told them the colour, I haven't indicated any style... And two of the dresses should be arriving next week (they only cost me £15 for the two, so if they don't suit it's no big deal).

Honestly, I wouldn't have put up with the cr*p you have. When I got married 8 years ago my sisters were still quite young (15&16) and both had an attitude. I considered their comfort when chosing their dresses and shoes but everything else was my decision. My youngest sister was a real tomboy, she whinged about wanting bridesmaids trainers and a shrug (as she didn't want her arms on show) but I stood firm! When she got married in September I was BM for her and I just went along with it.... but her other BM was a proper pain (I LOL'd a little).

People seem to forget that this is one of the most important days in a woman's life, and that she's been planning it in her head for years, right down to the smallest detail! If someone is giving you unbearable grief then you're perfectly justified to tell them to do one.... after all, organising a wedding is stressful enough

Im so glad you demoted her, she sounds so horrible, its your (and you h2bs) day not hers, if she doesn't like what you and the other bridesmades have picked then tough, after all the other bridesmades have been really helpful, i would have done the same to, its not worth the sress or worry you have to deal with as it is, good on you for doing it. x

Tbh she was a BM for our mutual friend who used to come round to my house crying about how useless and unhelpful she was being so I should have taken my warning from that and never asked her! This and my little boy being so ill has really sorted out who my 'true' friends are and who my fair weather friends are.

Good for you! Get rid of her, if she is being like that then sack her off. You've done the best thing xxxxxxxx

Hey xx i am sorry to hear about your friend hun, thats awful tho and you must feel really dissapointed :( i do think you have done the right thing going by your post above, and can understand totally why you sacked her, i would have done too! Did she give you any reason as to why she wasnt actually answering the messages and avoiding issues with you like that, does seem weird. On the up tho chick....at least you don't need to worry about all that now, you only have 6 months to go! enjoy every single planning detail now! xxxxx

I can't believe she said that! Oh well, her loss at the end of the day!xx

i know exactly what your going through im having the exact same problems with my sister/moh... it makes your feel so cr*p doesnt it!! hope things get better for u soon, xxx

One of my bridesmaid kept emailing me pics of expensive dresses and shoes they are way over budget! If my dresses are not good enough they can f*** off! Lol. Its not a fashion parade BM's! So annoying. So many people are having problems with their bridesmaids/MOH, if i was a bridresmaid i'd be over the moon and totally co operate!!

Are the dresses in question the one in your album? If so, no idea what she's been such a cow about! They're really nice, simple but not boring :) If you're the same dress size as Ex-BM2 maybe you could keep it for your honeymoon? :)

Sounds like you're going to be FAR better off without her hun :) Xx

Ps- glad to hear baby hospital drama is slowly getting better :)