Ok....I have previously posted about the woes with my mum but I think this is taking the mick now and I need some advice

My mum does NOT like my H2B
He's too old (apparently)
Has Kids (apparently that's a sin)

Ok fine....I understand her point but I am happy

She ruined my engagement, we got engaged then 24 hours later she threw my dad out of the hotel room on holiday called him a C*** and asked for a divorce because she wasn't happy that he knew he was going to propose and didn't tell her.

She said if we have kids she doesn't want to be involved.....she since calmed down and said she wanted to be involved in the wedding now being 'my mum' I gave her room to breath calm down and let her be apart of it.

Now ive bought my dress, she refuses to look at it. Ive bought the brides maid dresses but too scared to tell her. Ive got the rings same story.

To top it off, my cousin (who is like my sister) got engaged. What does she do....she calls up my aunty and says "IF YOU NEED ANYTHING I WILL HELP" apparently im not allowed to say anything because its meant to be kept from me.

My hairdresser visited the other week he is doing my wedding hair, he asked her how she wanted her hair and she scowled. She then said she was going to hire a clown (my H2B has a fear of clowns)

My H2B is furious with her and doesn't want her to go. My dad is soo happy for me and wants to contribute but I cannot take money from them because I don't feel comfortable....

I haven't cried yet....or broken anything....but ive been sooooo stressed out as in im struggling with work etc

HELP!

I offered to bring her to buy my dress....the response I got "im having a facial"

I'd still ask her to do something. Or go down the route of saying you know she loves you and ask her if she wants you to be happy? She's not going to say no to that surely then just explain to her how happy you are to be marrying h2b and you want the other people you love to be involved

It's not about making her happy though, I'd ask her if she wants YOU to be happy

Tell her, he is your Prince Charming. He makes you happy and you see him making you happy for the rest of your life

i think id get to the point where id just say get stuffed and not bother involving her, i know shes your mum, but her behaviour over it is clearly affecting you. She'll soon regret not having any part of your day - just fill the run up to it and the shopping/planning etc with the people who do care

i understand, to the extent of possibly leaving a parent out of the wedding as ive given my dads save the date to my aunty and told her to keep hold of it as im still debating whether to invite him or not and its not an easy thing to contend with. only you will know what feels best! i just think, for the timke being at least, if she wants nothing to do with it, don't try to engage her in anything, she'll eventually start sniffing round when you've not mentioned anything 'wedding' for a while. just see how it plays out over the next couple of months before you make any ultimate decisions about whether you want her at your day or not

also, if your dad wants to contribute, let him, its not his fault your mums being a pain, let him bask in the parent of the bride role whether she is interested or not.

even if your fuming inside, if she doesn't think its getting to you, she'll soon get bored, just carry on regardless and ignore/brush off any comments she makes as it does seem like she looking for the reaction!

she sounds like a stroppy teenager!

that sounds fair enough.

I feel slightly more empowered I just still cant believe her behaviour

im her daughter! I don't understand it.

hmmmmmm I was going to do the opposite start making things up about the wedding and drive her mad lol

Don't let her get to you. Do what's best for you and ignore her. You are happy and you're clearly on the same page together. Don't let her put a wedge between you. Sit down with your dad and explain the situation. Maybe he can get her to see that if she doesn't at least shut up about her opinion (even if she can't be supportive) that she will end up pushing you out of her life. Maybe he will make her see sense. And then you need to just stop involving her. Let her see where her actions will lead her, and you just focus on celebrating and sharing this with the people who love and support you, like your dad. You can focus on being happy and the future you're building together. Don't let her get between you though, whenever she stresses you out or anything, remember and focus on the fact that you are in love and that you both agree that she's unfair. That's always the hardest part, not letting it get between you. And the easiest way to do that is to shut her out. It will allow you to focus on the positive people and the happiness. Don't let her ruin any of this for you! And even if you don't move out, maybe if you chat with your dad and get him to try to make your mum see what is happening then you could stay at someone elses for a day or two so that she can see that she is really pushing you a way and not just causing problems like she probably thinks. It might give her food for thought, and give you some time to breath and decide on your next step forward.

I really hope you sort this out. I know how this feels. But focus on all the good things and your H2B and your happiness and it all gets easier with time and someone you love to support you and by your side.

cant believe peoples mothers would behave like this ):

Omg that is very true though. Great advice ladies keep it coming

wow! I cant believe your mum would treat you this way!!!

If you can move out then i definitely would. Does your H2B live with you too?? so she is saying all of these things in front of him.

Sorry, I know its your mum, but the behaviour is bordering on Evil!! She is trying to make you crack, and by going with your cousin is just so far out of order. If I were your Aunty, I would have told her to back off, if she didnt want to go with her own daughter, dont come with mine!!!

I think you need to become the parent in this relationship! You need to move out, be independent of her, because if she still has a roof over your head she will see it as power, and as long as she has power she will get to you bit by bit. Don't let her break you two up, because it will if the stress carries on.

Good Luck xx